a mind is very private..

pakshet! ano naman ako? most wanted? yeeeek haha..

i was supposed to celebrate my 1st day of being in the taming cast (my gash! naniniwala na ko sa signs! hahaha!).. but then i had to attend to the english project thing. omg this whole Merchant of Venice thing is becoming such a pain in the ass.. and it's not even our major task! we still have the speech to deal with! tanginang english yan! i don't want to flunk din naman kasi hello, academics should come before banaag.. kahit labag sakin yun..

so we had our shooting from 4pm-8pm at limmie's place.. nakakapagod swear!! buti na lang during t.h.e. time today i was able to finish the geom hw.. mga panahon na toh, i still love geom.. geom over chem pa rin!

maybe if english class were taken (ta'en?! hehe) out, things would be a lot easier talaga.. as in, walang homework and stuff na lechehan! i mean, imagine not having to go through all the trouble of putting up a whole avp of merchant of venice! pucha kung worth 10 points lang yun ewan ko na lang!

sana kasi speech na lang.. oh! btw! free talk ko na on thursday! haha.. ang weird, most people get nervous about talking in front of a crowd.. and i'm definitely not most people.. kapal ako eh..

my gosh. i want to make something of my life.. pero wala.. i'll study for fil later.. pero later pa i swear.. pagod pa ko eh..

sana i can go to taming of the shrew script editing tomorrow! i like i like! i miss banaag! and i'll miss banaag til friday next week!

pero inaantok na ko.. good night, world! 

omg! nagagaya na ba ko kay mia? hehe.. wala lang.. i'm listening to "any lucky penny" right now..

i want to put the album of Sybil in my ipod.. i bought their cd from kuya macky.. nice ng songs! worihoo!! sige later..

hindi ko rin natiis, i'll upload them na! bwahaha!! i like eh! why ba?!

anyways, kakatapos lang ng exam week, bangag pa mundo.. but there's crappy rps2 to work on.. ho well.. life would always be miserable.. especially now that english class is getting pretty damn hard! i've always loved english class, but this is getting to my nerves na talaga.. though i quite like the feeling when the tedious work pays off..

after the thursday exam (the last one), i went to a meeting with the publicity committee of banaag..  then my mom picked me up, we had lunch then went to eastwood to have my hair permed.. yup! got curly locks now!

the pics are in my multiply.. oi! nabuhay ang multiply ko! asenso!!

we have script editing and prod meetings tom at 9am-12.. lagot na! maaga na naman gising tomorrow!

good thing walang classes today.. rest day kasi exams kahapon. cool eh.

i'm so freaking bangag!

got to watch 50 first dates the other day while studying for chem.. iniyakan ko na naman.. shit. lack of love life..

basta.. yun.. shit.

oh! and it was teacher chari's birthday yesterday.. i love teacher chari.. so so so much. and i look up to her.. and i want to be like her.. no kidding! sobrang wow.. superwoman.. hay.. i got loads of PAULIIIIIIIIIIIIIINE!!!'s during my 2 summers with her in playshop, i relished every heartbeat of it.. cuz i know she did those for the best.. she knows i could do better.. which eventually, i will show. ngayon, parang wala pa rin.. meaning, i need more playshop classes! heehee.. happy birthday, teacher chari! 

hay.. ang saya.. 

eshus me! dati i wanted it because i was driven by passion.. and now it becomes an obligation.. a burden.. this is shit..

grabe i was so happy that after my walkout i went to rehearse for TOTS.. shit being a nanay is hard! bwahaha kidding! dati anak ako ah.. ngayon nanay na.. my gash i'm growing up..

iniyakan ko na lang kanina after walking out.. nung nakita ko si navs i hugged her.. si mia din wow sobrang comfort zone.. ang sarap i-hug.. tapos si maya na-sense na maaga daw ako for club so i must have walked out.. eh tama sha eh!! tapos ayun, i had an emotional outburst.. hindi ko alam kung baket, but i was crying na.. and i figured that maybe hugs were what i needed.. jussell hugged me.. abby also.. then pauba.. then i dunno na who else.. basta, BANAAG!! I LOVE YOU!

kaya during the blocking i was kind of energetic na rin, enough to handle missy's directions.. mahal ko ang blocking session kanina.. though mejo mahirap, masayang may nagddirect sakin than ako yung nagddirect.. or siguro magic ng banaag lang nagpasaya sakin kanina..

basta.. i feel so confused.. ayoko na.. maybe i'm not meant to lead after all.. ni hindi nga ako marunong magbasa ng notes eh.. and i don't play an instrument.. and i never had any music lessons since forever.. tapos choir conductress? please lang.. bakit ba ko ganun? hindi ko rin alam eh.. weird.. on the plus side puede na rin since mejo masaya maglaro ng music.. pero when you're given responsibilities about it? mahirap na.. though ayoko magquit kasi hindi ako ganun..

but i still feel bad.. hindi naman magaan sa loob na sumigaw araw-araw eh.. sino rin ba may kasalanan? bakit ba kung kelan feel ko matino na at long last yung ginagawa ko, things go wrong!

oh well.. accept what i'm given and learn to work with it.. though naiinis pa rin ako.. 

ugh! my gosh ayoko na! i want to give up but i can't because more than letting my classmates down, i'll let myself down.. eh kaso hirap na hirap na ko!!

kanina during p.e. class teacher april gave us the period to practice for songfest.. shempre some of us were thankful na rin because our choice piece is going nowhere.. eh kaso when we started rehearsing,

ang weird ko.. yun lang..

wala lang.. i just find it peculiar that i don't seem to be acting my age.. i have no love life, no social life..

while everyone's busy looking for their share of prom dates, i worry about banaag rehearsals, songfest practices, and other responsibilities. while they plan when they'll next go out with friends, i settle on my bed, read a book, watch tv or whatever. yes, i do sometimes fix myself up. i wear make-up like everyone else.. but that's the only thing i have in common with the rest of them, i guess..

i read blogs of different people. i read blogs of my friends. and i find them mostly ranting about love or friendship or other stuff that include happy hormones.. but i'm quite apathetic about those stuff..

like when a friend shares an episode of her personal love story, try as i may to not doze off, i tend to not pay attention! nakakainis na rin minsan. i mean, sure i let them rant or rave, but i don't listen kasi parang hindi ako maka-relate. kasi hindi naman ako mashadong oriented sa kalandian na napapagdaanan ng babae..

i even remember a classmate of mine being shocked kasi wala pa kong prom date until now. akala daw nya i'm the kind of person who'd have a sure prom date a year away from the actual prom. eh akala nya lang yun.

ewan. naiinis lang ako sa mga taong kiss-and-tell ang trip sa buhay..

pero hindi rin naman ako bitter. masaya ko dito eh. 

in spite of my enormous gravitational pull, i feel light today..

i was, for once, at ease upon hearing my classmates willing to practice for the songfest. sobrang saya ko nung marinig ko na kahit wala ako dun, there are SOME who wanted to practice til 5.. bawas din yun sa trabaho ko noh!

and i think i made the right decision. masaya na mag-blocking kung may scene ako. hehe.. though sana bukas hindi ako mashadong ma-stress dahil bukas ang day before the songfest elims chka baka mag-blocking pa rin ako tomorrow. whoosh! musta naman ang pahinga?! extra joss time once more!

kaninang filipino class we discussed "elias at salome" heehee.. wala lang.. i remembered mia and rei. and joyce and bong and gaye. yuck rhyming?! basta, anyway, sana ma-stage ulet yun.. i mean, for 3d yr students at least.. it's really a nice story.. pero sana sila mia ulet yun.. para mabenta ko si mia.. hehe.. hi! love you, kc and bebs! yeeeek. haha..

hi mia! wala lang.. ibebenta kita! woorihoo!!

yey i'm done with geom hw! woorihoo!!

omg.. i've ne'er seen myself this hyper since whene'er!! and i'm using shakespearean! wow!! 'tis not usual for me to actually love this!

crackhemp!! yey!

ang labo na.. haha..