a mind is very private..

wow, i reach home and bloghop and the first stop was teacher rony's blog and the first thing i saw was that he soooooooo passed the audition for hong kong disney! woopeedoo!! congrats, teacher rony!

i bet that like in tokyo disney where mickey and the whole shebang know how to speak japanese, hong kong disney will have characters speaking in chinese!

"and if i'm flying solo, at least i'm flying free!" - defying gravity

wala lang.. hehe.. that's the line of the week for me! yipee! i've been singing it over and over and over again!

by the way, i just realized, that even if i spend roughly 12 hours online yesterday, i didn't blog! that was just soooooo un-me!

hating this.. i've been getting dizzy for the past few days.. especially when it's hot.. grarrr.. hirap tuloy mag-online! i need a resolution! how can i sit for 12 hours on the p.c with such a condition? grarr! i have cds to label pa!! woorihoo! nagiging o.c na naman ako! my cd case is super jampacked na though.. i'm using kasi one with 40 sleeves lang and one with 24 sleeves. eh,, ayun.. i have absolutely no room na! and i want more cds!! hay. life is so boring.

i told my mom to enroll me in summer stock. she said she doesn't like the sked. i'm still praying for it EVERY night.. eh kasi! 6-9pm lang naman eh! come the rehearsal process naman it's going to be moved earlier eh!! nako! they come home naman later at 9, why can't they wait for me til i finish class? grrr... i wanna cry! i don't want a basic class. never. never. never. and i'm not saying that i don't want basic for the sake of boasting. i just like more challenges cuz i've gone though the challenges of the basic classes.. chka, i like to work with people who are really passionate about theater and how it works..  i want to try new things and do better at the things i've done before. and i think that enrolling in summer stock in itself is a motivation for me to do well. ma, i know you won't get to read this, but i hope you really do enroll me there. swear, if i get there, magpapapayat ako..

family went to southwoods today. wala lang.. lunch then i swam for the first time in ages! well, there's not much people kasi eh kaya ayun.. pero promise, i'm gonna try losing weight and i'll be hot during the prom..

pero sana talaga.. summer stock.. guys, to whoever's reading this right now, please pray for it.. please do.. it means a lot! thanks in advance!

okay, so, there's barely much time left before tomorrow. and when am i enrolling for playshop? TOMORROW! well, apparently my mom's busy with some stuff that she can't seem to enroll me right now.. but at least i'm taking comfort with the fact that she told me i'm going to playshop. pero the class? my heart is ready for summer stock! i'm even nervous already! the usual signs that i'm nervous are starting to show up!

for one thing, i found it hard to have the appetite for lunch. bet tayo, the same thing would go for dinner. then, there'd be times when i'd tremble.. yung out of the blue lang na trembling.. labo noh? but yeah, when i'm nevous, it happens. the last thing i'm waiting for is the nosebleed, which usually happens on the day of the audition or the show. yeah, those three thigns declare that i'm nervous. the first two already happened, and i'm waiting for the third!

i'm nervous because of two things. because i'm not sure yet if i'll get enrolled in summer stock, and because if i do get enrolled there, will i pass the audition?

thanks to kuya macky and his voice lesson (with lots of bits of self-help stuff which helped A LOT!), i was taught to "trust my instincts, close my eyes and leap" .......it's time to try defying gravityyyyyyyy!! haha!

ang down ko today. it's like i'm not in the mood for anything.

oh, pray for the soul of the pope..

and pray for everyone.. tama!

and let's all defy gravity! yey! 

fuck.. my mom didn't allow me to join summer stock..

more kwento to follow.. i'll compose myself first..

for now, i'm in a basic class.. not taking it in quite well..

fuck. 

i'm in my cousin's place.. shall sleep over here..

yesterday was simply horrific, not to mention depressing. i went to shang with my mom, with high hopes of course.. but when i got there, my mom got startled with the sked of the summer stock.. teacher audie was there so my mom talked to him to ask about summer stock.. then teacher audie said i should audition. sayang nga eh.. i had my resume ready, i had myself ready, i have the minus one cd ready, and crap! wala na.. my mom didn't like the sked. everyday kasi yun, 6pm-10pm.. before naman late na din yung classes ko ah.. then ayaw nya pumayag? sometimes nga dati footloose rehearsals ended at 11pm na, pero it's okay lang naman with her.. like, wtf?!

basta, i'll make bawi as soon as possible.. i won't let myself sink..

but fuck off, i was already teary-eyed when i got enrolled in a basic class.. i hated myself for not succeeding.. i already said all there is to say to be convinced that i could handle summer stock. when i got in the car after the 1st session in the basic class, bumigay na ko.. i wasn't wailing though.. but i hugged one of the pillows in the car and gave off a gallon of tears.. it was 6pm by then.. i got home, cried even more, ym-ed and texted, and my tears couldn't seem to stop. i cried myself to sleep at 1am.. imagine, 7 whole hours of manufacturing tears.. facial pain was present, but i didn't care. i wanted to cry, so i did.

i woke up today with totally deformed eyes and a weary heart to match.. i wasn't feeling bad, though.. because right before feeling down, there was mama ana fe, poj, gab, and kuya macky who came to rescue me.. i'm still loved. therefore, i have no reason to feel depressed. i love you, mama amae, kuya max, gab, and poj!

promise, i'll start defying gravity real soon. may not be now, but i will.. i will..

i'm starting to accept. bilis noh? oh well, there are freaks and banaagers and kapatids who are there to comfort me. i'm recovering quite fast.

sayang i wasn't able to go to katipunan today though.. sheena was there, and there was b.a, kuya macky, ilsa and michelle! kung sino pa yung rare, sila yung nandun! sheena and michelle? hehe.. tapos kami ni gab yung wala? oh my gosh..

nahahawa na ko kay b.a in terms of ka-cornyhan.. tulad ng:

vince: applausing? diba applauding?
pauline: ahh,, applauding.. yun ba yung sa photobucket?

ito pa:

pauline: (to b.a.. sa ym) ako nga walang lablayp eh.. lablayp ko lang, itong skeleton na toh.. break na nga kami eh.. wala kasi shang puso..

playshop was okay today. not kidding, but my classmates are good. they're quite focused. wala lang. well, except for some glitches we can't quite avoid. pero most are okay naman since most of us have been spending countless years in playshop already.

anyways, may reunion yata today! hehe,, i saw michelle and abby and a bunch of ii-7 people (plus camille fausti) in shang before class.. wala lang.. i missed abby.. i miss banaag. nako nako, before i get all senti, stop na!

hmmm.. i bought a nice book today.. then ate phoebe bought a book also.. leche.. she let me pay for the more expensive one!

nothing much has been happening, really.. i'm not used to the slow pace of lessons in playshop though.. mas gusto ko yung audition week agad the following week! hehe.. crap, miss ko lang yung freaks.. kuya macky left for australia already.. awww... i miss him super.. and i super hate that i wasn't able to go to the freak meeting last wednesday..

onga pala! i have a quiz thingy.. you guys should answer it if you don't want to die early..  http://www.quizyourfriends.com/yourquiz.php?quizname=050406115742-80685

got that? crap, i suck at being maangas.. ayos lang.. daanin na lang sa face value! bwehehe..

i have nothing more to say! hay, i dunno.. i hate being speechless! i'll go bloghopping na lang than make more nonsense! 

GRRRRRRRR!!! my brother woke me up!!

lech, i was still sleepy eh! hay nako! then he came into the room and pretended he's an alarm clock and let out his loudest "DRRRRRRRRRIIIIIIINNNNNNGGGGG!!!!" which really got into my nerves.. as of now, i'm sooooo not minding him til he says sorry.. inis tlga ko, promise!

i wasn't online for the most of the day because i got fascinated with reading books again.. plus, there's really nothing going on in the cyberworld so there's actually time to bum. and there's nothing else for me to do than feed my mind.. ayoko maging bobo tulad ng iba jan.. jow! jow! hehe.. hindi tayo patapon! kaya, ayun..

anyways, i answered a quiz thingy din today.. i found it in maya's blog..

woorihoo.. mostah naman! musically inclined pero walang alam na instrument.. well, at least hindi pa rin ako patapon! hehe.. kulit with the patapon thing. i'm just happy..

onga pala, i found a description for banaagers.. we're kickass actors with high levels of intelligence in different fields. we're talented, pretty, and all in all, amazing. we don't like darkness *ahem ahem, BLACKOUT!* cuz we know how to shine. in conclusion, we're far from garbage.. hehe.. wala lang..

i really want to attend the banaag workshop, kaso lang it's going to interfere with my playshop sked. m-f 1-4pm yung banaag, while playshop is mwf 2:30-5pm.. i don't like naman to go there ng tuesdays and thursdays lang. kaso lang i want playshop din.. lech naman kasi eh. had i gone for the m-f 6-10pm of playshop, i wouln't have any problems with the banaag workshop! pfft. life.. hehe.. i used the word "shop" a lot.. maybe cuz i didn't get to buy a pair of havaianas yesterday. there are lots of colors na rin at shang.. when i went there the other day, puro pink lang.. pfft. so to the blue batch banaagers who will be visiting during the workshop, tuesday of thursday na lang kayo ah! para nndun ako! woorihoo!

abby!! kasi dapat ndi morning yung playshop mo para agree tayo na banaag workshop na lang sa morning! holy kamote!

yun lang! hindi na ko inaantok! yey!

hay, my day started off quite stressful! there was so much to do! i had to wake up at 7am cuz we had a banaag meeting. down side? i can't attend the workshop! holy kamote! of all the days the workshop would be scheduled, it just had to be from april 18 til may 4, MONDAYS, WEDNESDAYS and FRIDAYS! well, with some saturdays daw,, but still! hello naman! 12:30-3:30pm? so there, i can't attend. with my sked in trumpets (which is paid for and not earned btw), i really can't attend.. hurts.. cuz playshop is like 2:30-5pm..

i soooooo want to split myself into two. i feel so crappy. shit, i'm beginning to cry..

then after the banaag meeting, i had to go to ateneo and wait for my sister to finish. i was like, super over mega majorly tired with all the walking i did that i was about to cry na cuz it's super hot and i'm super tired na, to think i was walking under the sun at noon!

you say i complain a lot? go to hell.

then i went to shang (finally!) and had lunch. then i went to playshop. my gosh, the first thing we did was that warm-up thingy again! eh i worked out pa naman the night before and let's just say my muscles are suuuuuuper painful!! i was warming up while cursing myself. now i can't even walk straight! it's really sooo painful that there's nothing more exciting than going to bed. however, my sister's on my bed so holy kamote!!

before class ended pa kanina, i was asked to sing! kasi naman! steph, vince, meg, tippy, billie, sana ndi ko na lang kayo katabi! mariz, ang daya mo!

so now i'm in the comfort of home. buti na lang there's internet to save me. a tag from pam, a comment from ate kyla..

pero i still like to cry cuz i'm really super tired! 

holy kamote! there's totally nothing happening today!

highlight ko lang for today, wala!

i can't wait for tomorrow para playshop. kasi naman if it were everyday lang noh? hay! bitterness na naman! 

this is so amazing! i'm soooo blogging in tagalog again! getting used to it more and more! right right, and i just typed that thing in english. great eh!

however, my legs are sooooo killing me for not letting them rest yesterday! think walking from mcdo katipunan to ateneo after getting such a rough workout the night before. then walk the fields and eventually reach sec, then be told to go to the front of som, and end up walking some more towards the blue eagle gym. AND doing the whole thing under time pressure because you have a playshop class at 2:30pm. AND you break one of the straps of your bag. AND walk around shang some more in the hopes of getting yourself a new bag, while accomplishing tasks such as changing your shirt because you've become totally kadiri because you walked in ateneo at 12 noon with the sun totally at you!

so i applied salonpas gel today since i can't take the pain any longer.. i wasn't able to go up and down the stairs without clinging to anything for support. it's really totally painful!

that's why i'm not the usual 12-hour online time today. i just lay in bed half of this afternoon while reading books/watching tv.. today's really uneventful maybe cuz yesterday's a pain in the ass. diba nga, the world needs balance..

shall go back to my comfy room then.. after ps2ing, that is.. 

haven't blogged for a while. shit, yesterday lang pala!

kasi naman! this p.c! it would restart na lang bigla.. it's an error crap daw.. my sister reformatted, pero it happened pa rin!

so imagine having saved all your files, pero magloloko naman the p.c! leche!

anyways, there was playshop again yesterday.. the thing's we're doing are like the things we did under teacher chari.. oh,, i miss teacher chari so much. but then she's enjoying herself in singapore! so i'm sad, but happy for her cuz she's happy!

teacher rony's birthday yesterday.. i was touched by his reply. he said he didn't have to put up with me. in fact, it's a pleasure to work with young talent like me. abaaaahh.. asenso na ko! talent? haha.. miss you, teacher rony! (figured i can't take out the word "teacher" after all! even if you told me to do so!)

hay, on the 20th pa our audition thing. pero it's soooo madaya! ganun pala yun! in teacher chari's class we had to look for music pieces (because minus ones are bawal) and we have to have a resume. oh! and the music pieces, none should be asked from teacher rony (cuz he has a whole lot of them and teacher chari says not to fill his inbox with music piece issues).. however, this time, there's no resume, and we could ask for music pieces from our teacher! ang daya talaga! oh well, i'm going with a minus one.. so, technically, madaya na rin ako..

saw a couple of people yesterday.. there was sheena and lawrence, who was with me til before class. then after class, i saw and hugged thea. my, she's taller than me already! anyways, she's in summer stock (and i feel inggit!) but she said that it's okay that i'm not in summer stock because the freaks' #1 enemy is there! haha! topic of all bonding sessions.. tsss... gab and i can't believe she even passed! then while in frio mixx, i saw mica from footloose. wala lang.. hehe..

there's a new bunch. me, steph (1,2 steph!), vince, mariz, tippy, meg, billie, patrick, babila and jio. fun fun!

yun. nothingness na naman today.. except for some yms.. hi chris! stalker! 

yipes. i have to have the final list of people attending the retreat! and i need it by tonight! and the banaagers aren't replying! wala lang.. so i dunno what to do.. malabo ako.. hehe..

anyways, i did nothing again today. crap, there was no electricity for like 2 whole hours kanina.. hating this!

and i'm tamad to type and rant..

oh crap! i'm getting my grades tomorrow.. time to hide! 

true to what the title says, i want to play hotspot! wala lang.. i've been missing people lately.. nako nako,, here i go again being all senti..

but swear, i miss teacher rony, teacher ring, teacher chari, the freaks, kuya macky (who's happily in australia and will hopefully bring me home a prom date!), gab, michelle (because i haven't seen her in the loooongest time and i didn't know she already has a love life!), ate joy, ate kyla, ate caisa, all the freaks, aika, pam, patch, pat, and a whole bunch of people i don't get to talk to everyday. wala lang.

anyways, playshop pictorials were technically yesterday. cuz it's 1am na so it's saturday.....zzzzzz..... whatever.. ayun, we were all dressed as kids. we were all in character pa! soooooo noisy around shang on the way to the picture place.. people were looking at us and all.. hehe.. wala lang.

oh! crap! i was asked to sing pala today! teacher melanie called out some of us to sing again, i dunno why.. how was it?! like doi!! i soooo sucked just like the first time! i sang "someone else's story" today though.. but on wednesday, i'll sing "for good" na talaga.. how could i go wrong with something kuya macky picked for me, right? hehe,, miss you, kuya max!

but i haaaaaaate my voice.. why can't i be given something better and more useful than what i possess? oh well, learn to accept and make the most out of what i'm given..

i'm liking our class though.. they have great skills and the focus is quite impressive..

but i really want to play hotspot! hehe,, i remember "rudolph the red-nosed RAINdeer".. hi ilsa!

i want to play hotspot, then do log roll.. yeah! yeah! yeah!

onga pala, vince! thanks for the pippin cd! yeah! 

wala lang. i've been bad today and i know it..

i got a lot of realizations, but i don't think i could post them here. diba, meg? diba, vince? hehehe.. nako nako, mga kwento natin!

anyways, playshop was okay today. we did a lot of corner stuff (yung walk from point a to point b thing. with a "come look at the freaks" finale.. hehe) then the music and movement exercises. oh oh! and before class, paola and chris played "footloose" on the cd player.. i miss teacher chari and teacher dan and teacher rony and the footloose crowd..

oh! by the way, i liked our last exercise.. the 12345678 thing.. hehe,, muntik na ko ma-hot seat because of paola and carl's "lustful" thing! hehe.. i was gonna do demo sana eh! kidding!

and i soooo loved the kid teacher k.o was with kanina. i dunno her relationship with the kid, but the kid was sooooo cute! before class he was like "hi guys!" then after class, his face was filled with stickers! as in! then he was talking in gibberish. then the last thing he said was "bye guys!" hehe.. wala lang.. sarap i-kidnap!

then ayun, i was with billie and mariz and steph and vince after class.. wala lang. talking about stuff.. the usual.. pero napansin namin na cost cutting na talaga ngayon. before kasi, it was ALWAYS a trip to starbucks after class.. ngayon food court na lang! bwahahahaha!

hmmmm... oh, by the way, i haven't blogged for the longest time pala! ate had to work on some video thingy and she was using the computer for like sooooo long.. oh well, accept what i'm given and learn to work with it. nako nako.. i'm getting wiser.. this is scary!

so there. i had a loooot of realizations today.. of how people create stories with what they percieve. of why things have to be this way. and a whole lot more.. nakaka-open ng mind.. basta! yun!

yipeeees! talent day at playshop tomorrow! haha,, what can i do, i'm talentless!! oh well, hide under a rock and pretend i have a voice i could work with? hmmm...

i'm so done for! i know kuya macky taught me how to do stuff and all, and that i've been in trumpets for 5 years now so i must have learned quite a lot! but still, it's my voice i don't trust. kuya macky said trust your voice and own it.. i don't seem to be doing exactly that. instead, i'm not confident with the voice i'm given. oh well, like i always say, accept what you're given and work with it.. so, i like, have no choice.. pfft. life is hard.

senti moment but really happy last night. i had this ym conversation with mama anamae.. she told me that she's happy we're still in touch. ayun. wala lang. she doesn't know how happy i am cuz of the same reason. nako nako, enough na before we all get tears down our cheeks.

i'm in the last few pages of "can you keep a secret?" by sophie kinsella. i hate jack harper.. hahaha.. even if he's such a sweet flirt, i hate him. imagine all your secrets being revealed on national television! crap! hehe.. i'm feeling a lot like emma corrigan.. oh well.. ang bagal ko magbasa cuz i tend to sleep a lot.. and well, i have trumpets to deal with, then life online, and a bunch of other stuff. imagine my reading speed if i were to read a tagalog book. hehehe..

which reminds me of a dialogue between me and poj..

me: i'm going to finish reading na

poj: why? what are you reading?

me: can you keep a secret.. (referring to the book)

poj: yes i can.

i saw people yesterday pala! i saw j.a and elaine in shakeys katipunan.. then i saw tania there too. then i tend to see teacher ems in playshop a lot na din.. hehe.. then there's teacher jun o.  (who's the teacher of abby, michelle and dandan btw), then after class, i saw mandy! hi mandy! wala lang.. the saying's right. it's not such a small world. i just seem to get around.. wel, i think!

anyways, gotta scram.

1st story: may pope na! he's not out of the balcony though so as of the moment, he remains unidentified. ang tagal ah.. kanina pa ko naghihintay.. but it was so cool. i saw the bell ringing! hehe..

2nd story: once on this island is showing in may! i saw teacher rony (yey! my spelling is right!) with a couple of leads.. grabe, fantastic voices with a great pianist = a breathtaking production. buti na lang ndi ako nag-audition for it.. or else the producers and the director might have experienced recurring nightmares.. bwehehe.. but swear, super majorly fantastic voices!!

i want to watch! well, i've saved up for it.. i'm not gonna spend tomorrow.. i'm not gonna shop tomorrow. well, hmmm... will i take that back?

but seriously, i need my theatrical dose.. last musical i watched was merrily pa! which was another fantastic production by the way.. ayun. they say tickets cost around p500-1500.. i want to sit in front. *heaven help me shoulder my load* yey.. i have to save.. oh, does anyone want to watch with me? well, i'm sure, like in all theater shows, that i'll bump into someone i know.. because that's what happens to everyone who watches a musical.. seems like everyone knows someone else in the audience.. meaning, just one crowd goes to watch a show.. hehe..

3d story:teacher chari's coming back to manila in two weeks! coolee! been reading her blog.. so cool.. wala lang.. i want to be like her.. i want to perform as well as she does. i know that's quite big of a dream (considering the little amount of workable talent i have) but i'll try my best to make it happen.. i haven't proven anything to myself yet..

anyways, gotta scram.. i have stuff to do.. nytnyt!

and just look at you, you could do all i couldn't do.. 

holy kamote. it was our "talent day" (well, we usually call it the audition process, right? wala lang. i'm not sanay with talent day) in playshop today.

leche, carl has a great voice! hands down promise!! hehe,, he sang "different" from honk! and sa sobrang ganda, in the middle of the song, i felt tears forming in my eyes. pero sobra.. promise, if the room were dark, i would have ended up wailing..

anyways, a lot of other people were great too! chris was so cute! heehee.. and paola was so funny.. she was like, "wait! again! she's confusing me (referring to the pianist).. no! wait! isn't it supposed to be...." for like, 5 times! hehe.. but it was a good laugh for all of us.. and for some unknown reason, a lot of people sang "part of your world" but no fuss.. mtf is a good class..

oh! and teacher jun o. was there! to make a few comments i think.. then there was also another girl.. sorry, forgot the name..

actually, i've been trying my hardest to act normal all day cuz i was freakin nervous! and i don't want showing people how nervous i am because it shows.. hehe, labo.. basta yun! i know it's just a simple song with a simple melody, but i still get stage fright! (and i hear a "yeah right! she gets stage fright!" echoing).. it's true! i do get stage fright! even if i look all "i'm not afraid of anything" almost everytime, i hide nervousness lang!

i did end up singing "for good" and i didn't know i could belt the whole thing. even the end parts which i gave up on in kuya macky's eastwood hq.. wala lang.. gulat ako.. but i still sucked. i admit it. i had a boo boo towards the end.. crappy, but what the heck, it won't mean i'm dead, right? cuz i'm still alive..

we were given the title of the play we're going to work on.. ayun.. then, hmmm.. i'm sleepy! 

so i'm home again cuz there's no class today. and tomorrow there's class again. i think we're starting rehearsals. well, i guess we have to..

this is such a bore.. i got nothing to do! i was in ym with a bunch of banaagers kanina.. wala lang.. i had to double check if people would attend the retreat.. and some people haven't confirmed yet!

i still didn't like what i did yesterday.. i'm not sure if i made piyok but i think i did.. though with what i sang, i loved how i felt..

anyway, i'm so bored and there's nothing to do and this summer, everything's just sooo hot.. (including me? kidding!)

then.. hmmm.. sana my mom allows me to go watch a movie with paola and chris and a bunch of other mtf people.. i'm tamad kasi to ask for permission!

so now i'm downloading songs.. sana steph lends me na her HONK! cd.. yeahhh.. it's not piracy cuz it's for personal use.. besides, all the study cds we've had in trumpets naman are lent eh.. we use it to learn.. chka it's nakakainis that there are no broadway and off-broadway cds sold here in the philippines.. the only stuff here are saigon and les mis.. well, at least, yun pa lang yung nakikita ko..

sucks that life has to be this way..

but it doesn't suck to be me..

yesterday's class was okay.. minor glitch but all in all it turned out fine.. the whole "the show must go on" thing is right indeed.. wala lang.

hmmm...  so, i'm using the p.c in poj's room. pfft. quits lang noh! he's been using my ps2 since God knows when! it's his turn to pay.. cuz the p.c outside kinda broke.. tamang tama cuz this p.c just got fixed. hay, the world is complicated..

there was a meeting of pacific plan holders in st paul pasig today.. my mom's friend went there, and in front of her, there was a little boy who asked his mom, "ma, hindi na po ako makakapag-aral sa ateneo?" parang, shit. wala lang.. my sister cried when she heard the story..

absolutely nothing special happened today..

oh! banaag had no workshop today.. buti na lang hindi ako nagpaalam to attend workshop today.. their session today has been moved to tuesday.. sana i get allowed to go..

i soooooo am learning to love my classmates in MTF.. (almost typed MTG! more used to that eh!) wala lang.. astig talaga the focus.. impressive.. well, maybe cuz almost everyone ain't a first timer.. but the new ones are equally good.. hehe,, amazing..

the summer stock show tickets cost 250 bucks! sana playshop students could get in for free pa rin! yeaaaaaah! oh, btw, heard that thea's the lead! wow! excited for her!! freaks rule!

speaking of summer stock, i got to chat with red yesterday before class.. he asked the usual "why didn't you join summer stock?" like everyone else does.. well, yun na nga.. accept what i'm given.. i would if i could, you know? but well..

btw, i want to fly.. 

 i'm tired as hell.. class finished an hour late today, and my mom left me in shang! leche.. like it was my fault i had to go to class.. pfft.. i ended up taking a cab! tang ina, i was sooooo scared!! well, at least i'm home now.. but still!

moving on, we were given our scripts today.. well, as we were given those, a bunch of recurring thoughts once again came to mind.

first thing i thought of was like, am i really going to do this? i mean, i go home from school for 10 bloody months at 6pm and i'll do the same thing this summer?

apparently, my aunt asked if i still have my passport.. i'm not sure if they're including me (since they asked for the passport) but i think they're going to either south korea or china.. of course, as much as i want to travel, i don't think i can. i'm tied to playshop and i wouldn't want things to change.. i want to perform.

then upon hearing the word "perform," another bunch of thoughts hit me. am i really for theater? does theater like me? will i stay, or is this just a phase? do i really have a workable voice to begin with? why do i love doing this? why, in spite of all the trips i missed, all the beach trips i didn't go to, all the vacation time i didn't seem to actually use to relax, am i not tired of performing? then again, is performing what i really want to do?

i ask myself.. what if i don't get anywhere? what will my future be like? what will become of me?

tssss... i'm questioning everything, even if i know i won't get the answers.. well, if ever the answers are here, i can't seem to notice.. 

i spent 7 1/2 hours watching Full House. i started with disc 1 last sunday, i think.. and today i did disc 2 until disc 5.. after blogging, i'm on to disc 6.. addicted? hehe.. well, maybe..

i hate hye-won.. hehe.. and min-hyuk.. ji-hyun is nice though.. and suuuuuper pretty.. i was trying her hairstyles on a while ago, but that doesn't change my face, right?

am i typing too much alien? well, i dunno their names in gma7 eh.. basta, han ji-hyun is played by song hye kyo.. there you go..

apart from that whole korean series marathon which i plan to continue in a while, nothing else happened today.

oh well, it's another playshop day tomorrow.. we'll be staying in class til like 7pm instead of 5 cuz we're rehearsing na (i think..) so it means, i'll begin to lose weight.. well, sana lang!

so, there. that's about it for today.. i live an uneventful life.. what is there for me to do? 

i just finished watching the last episode of full house.. hehe,, mushy but cute enough.. i was kilig. wel, due to the lack of a love life, i was kilig. what happened? basta.. hee.. song hye kyo is really pretty.. parang ako!

yesterday's l.s.s. was the three bears song.. only, my sister and i sang the korean version because it sounds more sensible..

while watching the series, nalabuan ako sa sarili ko.. i was watching one time, then my brother was noisy, and i was like, "shhh! i can't hear it!" pero subtitles lang naman ako dependent.

playshop was okay yesterday.. well, for one thing, sleepy kaming lahat.. we asked for a break at around 5pm, and unbelieveably, everyone was sooo hungry! as in, a bunch of us RAN to the food court (from the 5th floor) out of hunger!! heehee.. wala lang. music rehearsal was okay.. not that eventful but what the heck..

awww.. syets yung post ni b.a.. pix ng sideshow and footloose! pero yung footloose pic yung pic during the show.. b.a naman, may yearbook tayo noh! hehe.. school uniform.. mga loyal!

i wanna do something productive today.. like build my own company.. heh. bukas na lang yan.. nakakatamad.. i'm kind of cursed by the t.v and dvd player now.. manood ba naman ako ng 10 hours straight eh..

yun.. so, another playshop session tomorrow.. and after class, my sister and i will go to eastwood to buy flip flops and watch a movie.. bwehehe.. bonding? pero it seems nice..woorihoo!

i miss banaag already.. jow says the atmosphere seems different.. hay, blue batch, mag-repeat na lang kayo!

b.a, pa-nakaw ng pic..thanks! 

oh.. and here's to wishing a happy birthday to my vocal coach, freak, friend and brother.. in spite of all the schoolwork (which you won't be doing anymore), rehearsals, and all the stressful stuff we do,  you're the one who reminds us that  all those stress  are temporary, and that there's always the freak family you can cling to if you feel like giving up.. thanks  for ALWAYS bringing us together! come back to manila! we're waiting!

happy birthday, kuya macky!

keep writing, keep singing, keep performing! love you, kuya ng bayan!

wala lang.. i watched one of the many repeats of american idol.. the one where constantine got eliminated.. MY constantine? pfft..

those americans don't know music..

my daddy/boyfriend constantine just had to be eliminated..

i'll NEVER watch american idol again.

like, what are they doing with scott anyways? 

wala lang.. new expression.. samahan mo pa ng  "hang on, hang on, hang on.." hehe.. benta c jio! and mtf wouldn't have been fun if not for the people who are in it..

hmmm.. mahal ko ang sessions.. mabuhay tayong lahat..

anyways, yun, i had playshop yesterday and discovered that i'm not alone.. that there are a bunch of other people with the same sentiments as mine.. tapos, yun na!

then i went to eastwood and waited for my sister and her friends.

here's the shit! we watched "can this be love!" in eastwood! bwahahaha.. pero hindi na rin mashado bwahaha since i know povedans and ateneans who watched and who want to watch.. the world sure is changing. i mean, whoa. anyways, worst part of it was getting the tickets.. i was supposed to go somewhere else while my sister got the tickets.. but noooo! i just had to stay there.. my sister and i thought like, oh bloody hell..  if i bumped into someone in the theater, jologs din sha so quits lang!

when we got into the theater, leche halos walang tao! but there were conyotics in disguise din.. kidding.. basta there were people naman.. we're like around 20 lang in the theater.. then we were like, repeating all the bad english..

okay naman the movie.. but the editing was quite bad.. super poor transitions of one scene to another.. and the extras weren't good.. i mean, you'd know that they counted before exiting.. basta super halata.. and i hate that the exposition was super long so the plot buildup was all squeezed into the end of the film.. chka, it got too focused on cultural differences so the "love" thing as said in the title was not tackled much.

anyways, yun, may mishaps along the way (hi, nikki!).. oh! oh! before i expose only myself as the jologs one to watch the movie.. the ones who watched with me are my sister, and vikki, tiff and nikki. wala lang.

afterwards, we roamed around pa, and the 4 of them had makeovers (ayoko na kasi i was tired na) then walked some more then went home..

at ito ako ngayon.. bow.