a mind is very private..

first of all, i'd like to thank those who gave comments in my sticky entry.. hope more people would speak (type?) their minds and let their voices (keyboards?) be heard! ayun! thanks to maya, rakkel, sheena and cueps!

second of all, my 8-yr old brother traded his 3200 for a 3650. like, all i have is an n-gage and it doesn't even have a camera! sakit, guys.. pero okay lang. i'll stick to the sims pa rin!

*b.a and i had a YM convo the other day. he saw ate mica (pineda) daw! hay, footloose days! ang galing din cuz i realized something. tama pla yung cnabi ni b.a before.. if you move on, you have a bigger chance of bumping into each other again! hehe..*

ii-6 watched yesterday! hehe.. ayun.. more people to yet again call me a different name..

speaking of shows, i have this huge dilemma which gets me every show! i don't know how to put eyeliner! yun ang sobrang stress! hay!

our group made california maki yesterday at cooking class! we made about a hundred pieces using more than 10 sheets of nori! woopee! sarap sobra! hayyy.....

then we had dinner at burgoo cuz it's my aunt's birthday.. hay! i super love their seafood ceasar salad! the best!

birthdays: happy birthday to teacher tony pineda (dec 1), teacher vannie (today) and tanya manalaysay (today also)!

so, there's no school today due to the storm. hay.. there's no wind naman eh! wala din rain! labo! but my consolation is in the fact that there's no math long test today (sana lang ndi bukas un!) and there's no english speech.. also, i have time for myself. feel bad lang cuz of the casualties brought about by the floods..

ayun, shall go. the sims2 is waiting for me. hay. nakakakonsensha to think there are people suffering while i am in the confines of my home..

i want to watch merrily we roll along. maybe on the 18th.. i HOPE AND PRAY AND DREAM AND WISH i could watch it on the 18th..

was watching t.v a while ago and saw a bunch of people in the abscbn compound receiving and sorting out stashes of food and clothes and medicine and all those stuff.. what they're doing looks like fun! i want to go there! unfortunately, i'm stuck here at home. so all i did was pledge money. hmmm.. do you think giving lollipops as part of relief goods would be of help? cuz lollipops ease depression and i bet those people affected by the flood are more than depressed. at least with one lollipop they'd be elevated from more-than-depressed to depressed.

teacher rony: thanks so much for the comment! good thing my speech hasn't pushed thru yet! see, was supposed to do it yesterday, but classes got suspended. i thought i was gonna do it today, but the whole country's got no school, so, there! thanks a bunch!

i spent today playing the sims 2. but after blogging, i shall go study for math,, will answer the reviewer.. also, i shall do my c.l project. then tomorrow i'll finish reading my book report (will do so after the shows.. i'll perform at 10am tomorrow. imagine! early in the morning i have to be alive!). oh! and i'll meet pat so i have to have my pasalubongs ready! wil give jo's DOTS na! and aika's stuff! and pat's stuff! hay, i love pat! hehe.. savior!

i need to reformat myself. i'm ultimately tamad. it sucks though that i have to sleep early tonight cuz there's a 7am call time tomorrow. extra joss, please cooperate with me again. i still need you.

getting extra joss-dependent once more. it's always the case when i perform. extra joss would have to be present or else i'll go to hell. is it psychological? hope not, but guess so..

pauline is such a pig. getting fatter than ever. been working to lose more than the 22 lbs i lost in the past 4 months. but i guess christmas has arrived. must control self. pauline!!!!!!! shit! you're such a fat ass!

bio lab report is fun! genetics stuff! haha! i'm weird. i'm mutated! i'm the only one in the family who has dimples. everyone else doesn't have. what's weird though is that present dimples is dominant and i have it when both my parents don't have it.. hehe.. they're both recessive and i'm the only one possessing the dominant trait. pero i'm not adopted cuz my adoption before birth didn't push through. hehehe..

classmates, we have a couple of dilemmas.
*how can we submit the bio lab report on monday when labwork day should've been on thursday? not everyone has internet access so we can't compare results online.
*how can we submit the c.l project on monday when the individual works haven't been collected yet. we haven't even had group meetings!
*how can you guys (yes! sir f declared that banaag is exempted from doing the paper! filipino teachers, kami na nga yung naghirap na mag-perform araw-araw, ndi nyo pa kme ieexempt?) pass the theme paper on monday when you don't have the theme sheets to begin with cuz the school ran out of theme sheets?

TEACHERS: extend or i'll give you a day's sermon! ugh!

anyhoo, on to lighter topics now. our family will have noche buena at filinvest 1! my cousins from canada will be coming over (to bring more pasalubong! i still have a bag daw there! and ate phoebe's chocolate turtles!) and they come over once in two blue moons. i want to go to church there din on xmas eve cuz ryan cayabyab lives there and he arranges the songs daw during xmas mass! hehehe..

can't wait!

first of all, happy 11th month, teacher rony!

today's NOT tiring! i'm happy..

i performed during the second show today. surprisingly, i did not depend on extra joss to make me hyper. i guess it was a natural high lang today.. ewan!

pat was there today! so i gave her my pasalubongs for her, for jo (your DOTS are finally getting delivered!) and for aika (the star thingy i got in the outskirts of manila. i don't remember anymore where i got it cuz it's super far! but it's really nice! ).. pat watched me perform today. shit! of all days i'd fall off character, today pa!

pam and chic were "smelling" my hands (cuz they wanted to eat me) while i was holding their hands. i didn't know they would do that. and whenever i'd look at them, of course, they'd drop my hand.. but along with that dropped hand would come faces which really made me laugh. i was smiling when i turned around! hehehe..

then the whole show i was laughing na. ang labo, seryosohan! hehehe..

pat and i talked after the show. i looooooove talking to pat. makes me feel closer to home..

kainis when you really want to bond with a couple of people, make up for lost time and all that, but school kicks in and gives you a shitload of things to do (inna! pat! aika! cinco! jo! jo's mom's chicken sandwich! pam! fifi! achay! paulinians! freaks! we need a lot of bonding sessions. i feel alone. i want to catch up!).. school is bad. hell week this coming week. we don't know pa the deadlines for everything cuz classes got suspended..

i'm worrying about this when there are flood victims worrying about how they'll survive, where they'll live now that their homes are gone, worrying about what to eat tomorrow, where to work, how to earn money, how to keep holding on to dear life..

anak ng news programs..

shifting gears, i soooooo love the book "the five people you meet in heaven" by mitch albom. may sideshow! may freaks! oh yehes!

i suddenly begin to feel alone. i don't know why.

"if you feel lost and on your own
and far from home
you're never alone, you know..
just think of your friends
the ones who care
they all will be waiting there
with love to share
and your heart will lead you home..."

yahoo! tau-tauhan is finally over! give it exam week and we shall experience a withdrawal syndrome as we face another prod!

ayan na naman ang analogies. every end marks a beginning. hay, anak ng entablado.

speaking of entablado, i want to watch peter pan and merrily! i'm allowed na for merrily! all i need is a ticket! wehehe.. for peter pan, i have to ask for permission pa.. hay..

i have to be home when there's no school and no club meeting. i know for a fact that i can't go out on hell week and exam week. but wait! what about xmas shopping! i haven't hoarded stores yet! hay. anak ng paper bag!

enjoyed today! hehe.. just read a corny anecdote in tippy's blog!
tippy (to ms rama): hey ms! you have sun?
ms rama: yeah! 4 yrs old!

ano naman ang tawag dun?

so now i shall kiss the perfect night.. i shall not think about anything tonight. i shall have no worries. peace of mind is what i shall possess.. yehes! no school tomorrow! and it's not cuz of a storm!

but before i go, just want to say thanks to mchs for watching tau-tauhan! and thanks so so so much for 2d-timers and even 3d-timers! to those who missed it, there's a video at the a.v! hehehe..

i'm all set for tonight. bye!

i want to watch a couple of shows! my spirit is hungry for musicals again!

watch with me?

Merrily We Roll Along
Carlos P. Romulo Auditorium (RCBC Plaza)
For tickets and other inquiries, please contact JB Pascual at 0916-556-5404 or log on to www.iateneo.com/bluerep or www.ateneo.edu/gk.
Dec 10, 11, & 18, 2004 at 8:00PM
Dec 12 & 19, 2004 at 3:00PM

Peter Pan and the Time Machine
SM Megamall's Cinema 10 on Dec. 11, 12, 18 and 19 with performances at 11 a.m., 3 p.m., 6 p.m. and 8 p.m.

can't believe megamall would actually be a place for theater performances! hehehe.. wala lang. surprising!

wait lang. since he two shows are going to be on the same weekends, does that mean i have to choose?

obviously i can't watch on the 10th to the 12th cuz it's exam season. (grarrr!) on the 18th and 19th... hmmm.. i want to watch merrily on the 18th! that's for sure! asked for permission na!

on the 19th, shall i watch peter pan? i have to!

okay, so there's no school today and i know i have to cram for tomorrow's bio long test as well as finish reading my book report.

i'm such a school sucker..

i spent social studies class yday.. great way to spend it by making my wishlist.

math class, i planned my debut. i already have a list of people who will sing. teacher rony, play the piano alright? guys! attend my debut on january 21, 2007! it's a sunday though. want it to be moved to jan. 20? for the 18 treasures and 18 performers, i have a list, but there are people i have yet to meet. there's gonna be school years, and there's gonna be playshop summers. everything ain't final yet as to the people who will do stuff. but the flow if it is final.

filipino class, i planned my wedding. everything is set -- except for the groom.

what shall i plan next? honeymoon? anniversaries? christmases?

here's what i came up with during social studies class...

*ipod 60gb
*peace on earth
*a digital slr camera
*play station pocket
*no more dead people
*talent.. lots of it
*a nice voice
*a play to work on
*soundtracks of: into the woods, once on this island, songs for a new world, the lion the witch and the wardrobe, rodgers and hammersteins cinderella, and soundtracks of all the best musical plays and movies in the world! (provided that they're in languages i couold understand!)
*a book collection (my list of books is in another computer. must upload here.)
*a violin
*endless dreams
*those endless dreams coming true
*a gift for music (must learn to play an instrument!)
*again, a voice i could work with.

and a way to roll along with all the crap the world has to offer without me ending up in a waste bin.

merry christmas!

i'm in the comp lab having the most marvelous time ever. if this gets worse, i'll be throwing diskettes at everyone i see. damned comp teacher. she shall go to hell. oh wait! asses don't necessarily have sexes, right?

i was submitting a diskette to her and so i put my name on a sheet of paper cuz i don't like writing on disk labels cuz its contents change from time to time. plus, who still uses a diskette? c.d naman sana! cheap! anyhoo, as i gave her the thing, she shouted at me and era. what the?!

she's such an ass..

i hate! hehehe. i enjoy being a bitch.

to hell with computer teachers! butts go to hell!

i'm bad.. and proud of it!

this is one of the very few times that i'm home with the sun up there.. galing! it's such a miracle!

miracles happen nga naman. we had a homeroom teacher today. miracles happen! wehehe..

we talked about who to dress up on the xmas party. we're supposed to turn someone into a christmas tree. they had a unanimous suggestion.. kaso lang i thought, it's going to be hard to make an ass look like a christmas tree, right?

fine, i know i've been acting up again. too much criticisms. i'm just being honest! hmph. haha! i don't care if i become a roach in my next life. as long as i'm being true, i'm happy.

bio long test wasn't as hard as i expected. i'm not expecting a high grade, but hopefully i'll pass cuz i've been enjoying genetics (cuz i'm more and more assured that i'm not adopted.. nor am i switched at birth!)..

we had roughly 25 minutes to answer 10 essay questions in the filipino long test. hassle!

the english speeches today were not that enjoyable. the speakers did well, but after every speech (and worse, during some speeches), someone would interrupt. hassle tuloy! diba, zoo?

also, english was a disaster cuz everything was going so well but they had the book report topic brought up. it would have been forgotten, but NO! it just had to be reminded! pfft. insensitivity. sheer insensitivity.

obviously, bad vibes today.

i find consolation in knowing that i am home at 4pm and i could watch some shows!

but then again, there's lab report and book report to work on, plus quizzes to prepare for.

i have to take a breather. gimme a few hours!

just finished a convo with aika. in fairness, 12 minutes lang kami sa cellphone cuz she wasn't home. if she were home, we'd spend around 45 minutes using the cellphone. shit, i must protect my brain. but i'd rather die with open communication lines than prolong my life in silence..

i've switched to the living room p.c to the p.c in poj's room, and back to the living room p.c then the p.c in poj's room until i finally landed with tito's laptop. anak ng mousepad! walang mapuntahan n site yung living room p.c and poj's p.c looks busted as well. holy kamote.

i spent time with banaag today. we were supposed to have our meeting til 6pm but it was cut short to 4:30pm. we planned our xmas party. i'll bring the ps2 with the dance pad cuz tine and mia told me to bring the ps2! party's on the 17th at abby aranda's place!

dilemma: i can't go to consecutive gimmicks! i'm watching merrily on the 18th! (aika pa lang the potential watch-mate, but hopefully kim will watch on the same date.) and hopefully, there'd be acquaintances in the theater when i get in since there's always a show wherein acquaintances would coincidentally see one another.
hay, theater people do get around.

though i've been moving from one computer to another, one thing remains sure. my home-concert is still ongoing. i could never go wrong with my music. i'll never stop playing my music. showtunes are the best! navs borrowed my sideshow and wicked soundtracks. i hope i could get it back soon! i miss sideshow and wicked music!

for now, it's me, my guts, the microphone, and my minus one mp3s. i love my life.

merrily's opening night tonight! bet bluerep's all hyped up! they must be finishing act one now. hmmmm...

my family went to different places today. poj went to toy kingdom with my mom and tito, while ate phoebe went to the dentist. by now, i think theyre having dinner - without me.

but i'm good! i opted to stay home again. i wanted to read books today, but obviously they weren't school books. i hate school. pfft.

at last, there's a time for me to be silent. there's a time for me to think. there's a time for me to bond with myself.

i bummed today. i sang in the shower, sang in front of the pc. laid in bed, watched t.v, read books. this is the life. i love holding concerts at home. i'm brave enough to do it in front of the p.c now. dati, sa shower lang ako!

anyhoo, i miss my friends. pat, i miss you! write back ah! jo also! write back! and aika, write back or else lagot ka sakin! i know na what to give you on xmas but i haven't shopped yet. no fuss. matagal ko pa un mabibigay sayo!

i haven't talked to anyone since this afternoon. duh?! i have no one to talk to but myself! i don't want to end up looking like an idiot.

of course i thought of some things today. i remembered that it's almost christmas. may be my lonliest. unlike last year, i wasn't able to drop by spcp before xmas. with this in mind, i'm planning of ditching the batch night to trade it for a birthday thing. (didn't like their list of performers, sorry. rock ain't really my thing. would've given it a go if there was open mic. but rock? please lang noh!). wish me luck! happy birthday, me!

i came across old palancas. i just wanted to read some letters for reminiscing purposes, and to know how much i've changed. came up with the conclusion that no matter how many years went by, a huge part of me it still the same! i'm still loud, open-minded, and VERY frank! also, i seem so sincere. many people think that i always mean what i say and say what i mean.

for instance, when i tell people that the word "gullible" was taken out of the dictionary, they tend to believe me! hello?! it's an old joke!

do i look too serious? do i look too sincere? ang labo!

and when i make gago hirits, my gago self isn't matched with the gago sides of others. they say my humor is beyond normal. my humor applies to adults.

hindi ko sila maintindihan. maybe they're just normal people.

speaking of not being normal, i want to perform. i miss it! bet i'll cry when i watch merrily cuz it's been months since i performed in a musical. banaag's doing straight plays eh. i can't wait for summer!

it's hard being a freak, but it hurts more to be normal.
i, a freak, asked a normal person to watch merrily with me. to my surprise, the normie asked me "sino si merrily?"
nakaka-stress!

i don't want to study for the exams. i need christmas break so badly, but we have this bio project to work on over vacation so christmas break is useless. i mean, come on! it's christmas BREAK! we're not supposed to work. our pockets should be filled with reimbursed money (cuz we lost it all during xmas shopping!), we should travel from one place to another in search of more gifts. we should splurge on food, give gifts, spread love. we're not supposed to have worries on what to do. we're not supposed to dread deadlines. nakaka-sira ng vacation. i've been looking forward to it, sabay, hay...

sayang.

i'm home again, this time, with poj. i have no plans of christmas shopping. my mom will be the one to shop for me. i've never felt this bad. i want to go shopping, but it's too late. dati kasi, nung may time pa, nung hindi pa exams season, hindi nya pa ko pinag-shop.

nakakainis.

with that in mind, sana makuha ko lahat ng nasa wishlist ko..

i'm a brat. i don't care.

lollipops have given up. they can't console me right now.

mr. hankey the christmas poo should make me happy. but i still want to shop. that will make me even happier.

i wasn't able to blog for quite a while cuz the internet was crap. anyhoo, i STUDIED (pretended, of course.) and i must say that the exams are going quite well..

bio was not as hard as i expected. i loved problem solving! hehehe.. then c.l was crap cuz sir didn't teach us a few stuff. and the exam part on that lesson was worth 10 points so we automatically have 10 points down the drain. grarr!

math was okay. but filipino was just straight from hell! all that tagalog was just, oh my gosh! todo stress!

tomorrow's gonna be english exam (english, pfft.) followed by social studies (grar those terms to memorize!). after which, ts gonna be our xmas party. hay! the christmas spirit ain't with me yet. dunno why. maybe it will come tomorrow.

oh! there's gonna be simbang gabi tomorrow at 4am! i'll wake up at 3 so i can finish bathing at 3:30 then fix myself up til 3:45 maybe.

i didn't study today. maybe later. i watched "supersize me," a docu on fastfood and its risks. i saw all fat asses and hell! i'm fine with the shape of my butt! i don't want it to overgrow! duh, that's why i'm dieting! but mom says my diet's off for the holidays. i'm scared that i might gain again the weight that i lost.

i already reserved a merrily ticket for myself. i'm watching on saturday, maybe with gabbo.. if not, i'll watch alone. after all, i'm watching for the sake of seeing friends perform, and of course i'm after the story of the whole thing. i want to quench my thirst for musicals.

sana summer na. can't wait for playshop!

now i'm stuck at home putting gift tags on gifts. pic to follow.

have to go! nytnyt!

i'm done with the exams! it's christmas vacation! life is good.

so yesterday was the final day of exams followed by a christmas party at school. we had our class parties followed by a mass, then a program.

basically, all we did in class was eat, then gave gifts, and bummed (i, for one, took loads of pictures---of myself. spell VAIN?).. cala was the one who picked me in kris kringle! i picked deej. all was good.

may i just say, i'm in love with the camera and the camera reciprocated my love for it! hi to maya's camera, tippy's camera, kim's camera, p.c's camera, cala's camera phone, and nikki's camera phone! hi to the camera owners as well! maya kept on recording (sometimes upon my request!) my face! and i did a lot of smiles and poses. heck, she even took a video of me putting on lip gloss!

hindi ako vain.

afterwards, we went to the sportscom quite early and we were all on a natural high! tippy, limmie, era, besa, isay and julianne were spontaneously presenting their antics and everyone was going wild! i was in tears cuz of so much laughter.

after the mass, we went to the field. hung out, ate chips, had lollipops, etc. while ms macaresa and sir diwa hosted the program.
ms macaresa: i would like to thank ernie for your barong!
wah! ang cornyyyyyyy! ang bangag! hehehe..

after that thing, ii-6 went to yellow cab. YUM! we bonded, filled half of the place, and ate! thanks for the treat, camille! tanggapin mo na yung share ni mariel!

then i went home, went to bed, woke up at 3am and went to simbang gabi. 2d day, 7 more to go!

got home at 5:30am, had breakfast, and slept at around 6:30am. woke up at 1:30 in the afternoon and had a great time thinking of nothing! masaya. vacation na!

too bad i'm missing banaag's christmas party. oh well. at least i sent my gift to ia! (picked her eh.) thanks, jow!

poj just woke up. he'd been playing ps2 non stop since 5am and decided to sleep this afternoon.

our sked's plain sabog.

merry christmas!

i don't want to expound, but oh my gosh! he's sooooo to-die-for! wahehehehe..

now i'm all smiles. i don't know what to do..

currently ym-ing inna. hehehe.. secret!

listening to xmas songs at the same time. recording my voice with minus ones, deleting those recorded bits cuz they suck. my voice is crap! and that's in its normal state. i downloaded a bunch of xmas minus ones just for kicks. also downloaded a bunch of plus one xmas songs.

i got an mp3 of "breath of heaven".. really soothing song. the piano there sounds good. if you'll download it, go for amy grant's version. jessica simpsons' version is too much pop. sayang yung song, i swear.

ito pa! mchs freshmen 03-04, i found a minus one of "mary did you know!" hehehe.. memories?!

also downloaded songs from "songs for a new world." jason robert brown's music is just splendid. ang galing nya!

the minus one of "seasons of love" from RENT is finally done downloading. oh yes! i'm burning a christmas disc in a while! after that, i'm burning a minus one disc.

but i want music sheets more. so that i could.... ask people to play them for me. hehehe.. i don't know how to piano!

i want an increase in my vocal range. i want to belt, belt belt! i hate shifting. but can i do it alone? i hope so.

i want to learn to play the violin. limmie! teach me! i want to learn just the basics lang. the rest would be up to me na lang.

i want "the next ten minutes" to be played during my wedding. i want the accompaniment to be a piano and a violin. during the wedding reception, i want "stars and the moon" to be played. then i would sing "not a day goes by!!!!" hehehe,,

the groom? maybe he's an acquaintance, maybe he's yet for me to meet. i dunno.

so much for my dreams.

yesterday we went to tita suzette (hahn)'s place to buy clothes.. whoa! phat farm and nautica galore! i loooooooove!

then we had ice cream at floyd's. i miss green tea ice cream. yum!

after that, went to cost u less. it was shopping heaven! better than price smart cuz there's a wider variety of stuff to choose from. plus, i found DOTS! they have dots in the phils na! jo and i have been looking all over for it! i texted her right away cuz of so much excitement! haha!

so that was pretty much yesterday.

anyhoo,

i went to simbang gabi at 4am today to well, hear mass. then the whole thing got me and my sister thinking.

should i be shameful of being filipino?
it was full already inside the church. i can't believe how ill-mannered filipinos are by trying to force themselves in. people kept on crossing and crossing and crossing like there's no tomorrow. isn't it understood that when there are people outside you can't go in already cuz the place is jampacked? sheesh.

also, during communion, there were ill-mannered people yet again who kept on inserting themselves in the line. worse, no one even said "excuse me" or something. as in it was MAJOR singitan which looked really horrible. what's with that? to think they're in church, shouldn't they at least know basic ethics?

is that a product of lack of education? lack of education is really rampant in our country. i mean, if you're really educated, would you vote your movie idols for president? like what bob ong said, will marvin agustin be future president, and will donita rose be future pope? such a shame.

misunderstanding the bible
during the homily, the preist explained how mary got pregnant. he said that the angel appeared to mary, and poof! mary got pregnant thru the holy spirit and everything was just told to joseph so he did what had to be done.

like all religion teachers say, the bible shouldn't be taken literally. maybe joseph and mary had sex. sex is a sacred act so maybe that's where the holy spirit comes in. maybe "she conceived through the holy spirit" meaning the holy spirit was present in the act of having sex. isn't it like that?


thinking this way is hard. sheesh.

i watched "merrily we roll along" by ateneo bluerep yesterday. oh my gosh! ang ganda! it was their last show, and as in all last shows, it involved a lot of crying and being all sentimental and stuff. hello, pati nga ako umiiyak na eh! haha!

i went there ALONE. then i saw red (concepcion) and he was alone too. but we were seated apart so we talked while waiting to get in, talked during intermission, and talked again when we got out. i was with red and b.a when i got out. footloose? hehe.

anyhoo, it was such a great show! i loved the music (hi, teacher rony!) with the brass instruments and all, and the fake piano thing worked! haha! it was so cute!

i LOOOOOVED how kuya macky did "franklin shepard inc." he nailed every note and every word so well! all the "mutter, mutter, mutter" was super clear! i mean, it's so fast that i get tongue-tied whenever i try it! hehehe.. oh! and his facial expressions were sooo cute! and whenever he said sorry to frank, i saw "puss in boots" from shrek2. it was so kakaawa and all. i also loved it when he was holding the "just married" sign. it was soooo him! haha!

ate kyla's singing was superb as always. hello? that was ate kyla eh! hahaha.. she did great as mary. hands down!

ate joy played meg and it was super aliw! hehe,, i like her role. it was so flirty and i love flirting onstage so i love her role! like all the freaks, she sang well and did awesome!

ate caisa was also great! she also played a flirt and she played it sooo well! i loooooooved gussie! it was like, even if she's ate caisa and i love her to bits, i still felt inis cuz she was such a bitch! haha! love you TEACHER caisa!

oh! kuya franco was there too! he was joe josephson. anyhoo, we made piyok in one of the songs (the one when he was sitting on this red chair) and he said it was the only show where it happened! hehe,, ang aliw! anyhoo, despite that piyok thing going, he was GREAT! oh! i'm such a proud freak..

i also liked the one who played beth. her vocal range is super amazing!

of course i loved the technicals, but the story's just to-die-for! the songs and all the lines had a lot of underlying messages. like friendship being compared to a garden. i loved how the story regressed. in the end they were hating one another but in the beginning they were at the rooftop, having such big dreams and promising one another that when they succeed, they will go back to that rooftop, still together. unfortunately, fame and fortune got in the way and it didn't end the way they wanted it to end.

oh, i'm crying again!

back to technicals na nga lang!

i liked the "opening doors" part. the one with typewriters and the piano. i also loved the songs "not a day goes by" (made me cry!), "good thing going" and of course, "our time"..

when the show ended, they sang "santa claus is coming to town" and it was fantastic! i remembered when they sang "happy" after footloose (of course, i only watched the video) and it was seen on their faces that they felt triumphant for being able to change the world. sure, the whole world didn't change, but my world did!

outside, it was a hug-fest! people were congratulating the cast, the cast was crying, they were excited to see the people who watched, and it was just a rush of energy all over the area. of course i hugged kuya macky, then ate joy, then ate kyla, then kuya franco. we saw teacher rony and he told us that it is indeed OUR TIME already. well, it maybe our time already, but it's still gonna be teacher rony on piano! after teacher rony, i had to leave so i said goodbyes. but before leaving i got to hug ate caisa. ate denise and ate binky were there too! like b.a said, "playshop network?!" hehehe..

to wrap it all up, nothing compares to watching your friends perform, seeing other friends watching the show too, and being with those friends. i know we won't let go. theater is what binds us all together. and when we "get there," i know fame and success (and fortune, too! well, if i get it! ) won't get in our way. right? right!

Something is stirring,
Shifting ground …
It's just begun.
Edges are blurring
All around,
And yesterday is done.

Feel the flow,
Hear what's happening:
We're what's happening.
Don't you know?
We're the movers and we're the shapers.
We're the names in tomorrow's papers.
Up to us, man, to show 'em …

It's our time, breathe it in:
Worlds to change and worlds to win.
Our turn coming through,
Me and you, man,
Me and you!

-Our Time, Merrily We Roll Along

ang saya maging freak! i love being a freak!

well of course not just that. i loooooove performing! while watching the show yesterday (bet tayo, i'll have a looooooooong hangover of this. hello? sideshow pa nga lang eh!) i felt like going to the stage and performing with them if only i knew all the lines! hehehe.. holy camote..

i can't wait for summer to come. my mom said i'll go to hongkong cuz hk disneyland might be open by then, but i think playshop's more important.

musical theater teens advanced, wait for my return! hehehe.. footloose people, freaks, let's unite and reunite! newcomers for the advanced class, come! hehe,, ang labo, but i hope my point gets across.

red's school, the performing arts school in singapore, will be holding auditions again on january. i think i want to go there. but i have dreams of staying here still. i mean, that's a great school! no maths and sciences to think of! while talking to red yesterday, i asked him what they do there. he said there's dance class, 2 voice classes (speaking and singing), theater history class, music class (you have to learn a song in 30mins and perform it the following week), then rehearsal for 2 shows for every semester. quite well, but sounds tiring! well, at least he gets to do what he wants!

but like red said, to quote avenue q, "what do you do with a b.a in english?"

it boils down to one thing: i can't go there. no talent to begin with, not enough finances (and discipline) to live alone, not enough emotional strength to live alone, and of course, being a minor, living alone in a foreign country will make me go insane. all i have is the passion to perform. my point? i'll stick with playshop.

but wait! it's said in merrily that "dreams don't die so keep an eye on your dream." does that mean i could go if i dream of going?

my dreams are all screwed up. i don't know what to go for. help?

i'm HOME! i'm officially HOME! and it's christmas already! i soooo feel it!

okay, so to start the day, i watched "new york minute" and found it quite amusing. not really to-die-for but amusing.

then now, i can hear our cd player playing the christina aguilera christmas album followed by the 98 degrees xmas album. hmmm.. i suppose in a few years it's going to be MY xmas album in that player as well as in all cd players!

for now, i'll have to stick to the minus one xmas songs i downloaded.. shall hold a concert in my room as soon as everything's done.

what i'm sad about christmas though, is that family reunions are not family reunions anymore.

also, i have to rush from one reunion to another. with such a complicated family, who wouldn't?

before, on xmas day, we'd just have lunch at the long table of my uncle. then we'd go by their christmas tree at the living room while they give us our presents. it was just our family. my mom, us, and her siblings with their own families. it was great! perfect, peaceful, blah. i even remember, they'd ask me to sing before, then i'd cry cuz i didn't want to sing! i haven't seen music's light before. now that i know how much i love music, there's no more time for me to sing. either that, or they've forgotten about our traditions before.

now, christmas for them means a huge party. there'd be our family, my uncle's and aunt's families, and now tito greg's coming over so yahoo! this means fun!

BUT, there'd be other families as well. family friends, families of family friends, super mega extended family members, even those whom i don't know. those who say they're part of the family, relating from bloodlines and bloodlines and millions of bloodlines of people i still don't know. our intimate family christmas in kuya marco's living room has moved to the extravagant party room, filled with unknown people.

i mean, i'm not saying that they should be thrown out. it's just different that the family's "extending too much." hay ewan.

if they're enjoying it, i'm not. it's switched from perfect to chaotic.

i miss old christmases.

it's freezing cold! well, 19 degrees celcius lang but it's cold pa rin!

my mom and poj went to the airport to pick up tito greg, tita annie, ate michelle and michael! yipee!

i'm excited to open gifts. i dunno what i'll get. i wrote a couple of stuff on my wishlist (the one i gave my mom, not the one i wrote here. but it's similar na din!) and i dunno what my mom bought. guess i'll have to wait pa.

i didn't go online today cuz of an unknown reason. labo. suddenly i didn't feel like going online.

well, i guess i had to take a break cuz i was sneezing non-stop this morning. then i rested in poj's room while playing "bust a groove" on ps2. then i looked for the dance pad and played dance dance revolution! haha! so jologs of me, but it's kinda fun so i don't mind. kaso lang, my dance pad is almost 6 years old na so i think i have to buy a new one. we have 3 dance pads but two of them are broken and the other one is old na nga. ayun.

oh! oh! how fun! i was supposed to go shopping today but then my mom said i had to rest cuz i got sick so i didn't. tomorrow daw i'll go shopping na. hopefully with ate phoebe and michelle and all the pretty people in the family para girl bonding! wala lang. i have to but a gift for my mom. ate phoebe, let's share?

tulog na nga! hehe.. i'm a batugan today. kain, tulog, laro, tulog, t.v, internet, tulog. oh yehesss..

it's christmas in less than 11 hours. whoa. everything's happening so fast!

yesterday was the first day we spent with tito greg's family. gosh! michael's only 13 (we have the same birthdate, but i'm older by 2 years.) and he's a LOOOOT taller than any of us! oh my, i'd be mortified if he called me "ate." it looks really awkward!

so we went to the cemetery (cuz tito greg visited his brother.) then we went shopping. they bought loads of shoes and clothes and bags, nakakaloka!

we didn't have lunch but we had dinner at 6pm. we were at galle by then. crap! mystic circle was closed so i wasn't able to check out some scary miss mary stuff! grarrr! so i went with hannah and roamed around galle. anak ng cd! the akafellas cd was being sold for 75 bucks! parang, hello? they're worth more than that! a lot more than that!

anyhoo, we roamed, hannah shopped (i wasn't able to find the perfect gift so i didn't buy anything. bad trip! mystic circle kasi eh!) and we just roamed and roamed and roamed and talked.

we transferred to podium cuz tita grace promised a trip to landes. landes was heaven! well, we were the only ones at landes cuz they were at toy kingdom. hannah was looking at this mirror where you ask yes or no questions but i told her it wasn't so nice (it's our gift for her so i discouraged her. she won't see this anyway so i'm fine with it.) so she bought the bop it extreme and a speaker pillow. i only bought the speaker pillow. you connect it to a discman or any player and it's your speaker! yipee! hehe.. cool.

after that, they ate and i roamed around podium some more (i was with hannah. still in search for the perfect gift.) i stopped by national to look for "the notebook" by nicholas sparks. you know what hannah handed me? a notebook that you write on. nice.

then we went to watsons and she bought chocolates.

we ate a little, then left podium. my gosh, by then, michelle and michael looked so sleepy na! their eyes were drooping na! ayun. oh! the flyover from libis to katips is working na! wala lang, enjoy!

we went to filinvest 1 to get ate phoebe's luggage (she left one cuz they had too many already) then talked a little and went home.

now it's christmas eve. i don't know what to expect. sure i know what some of my gifts are (thanks to ate phoebe's tongue!) though i'm anxious that i might not get the one gift i want most. yipes.

so, merry christmas, everyone! hope you guys get what you want! hope your family stick together, nothing bad would happen, and hope your day would be as close to perfect as it can get!

months before christmas our house has been filled with lights. like what we call it, "ilaw na tinubuan ng bahay." ironic that it's christmas eve now, and they forgot to turn the lights on.

we won't be spending the evening at home. in a while, i'm leaving for this 9pm mass. then, i'll go to kuya marco's house for dinner, and to wait for christmas. they said we'll be home by 1 or 2am.

how about the gifts?

well, we'll open them here at home, maybe at 8pm. yipes! it's not the usual christmas!

anyhoo, we're running short of time! christmas is a few hours away! hope you all have a great time! even those who are sick (inna! at phoebe! kaya pa rin yan!) and those who are alone.

freaks, cinco, footloosers, ii-6, tre-se, paulinians, knollers, past classmates, past teachers, all my friends, neighbors, old neighbors, family, everyone! merry christmas!

i haven't blogged for nearly a week! hay!

well of course it was christmas so i was out of the house. then the day after christmas i went to tagaytay with my cousins and spent two nights there.

we rode the trailer! hehehe.. and like always, people were expecting celebrities to go out of the trailer. whatever, public! hahahaha! ang bangag ko sorry!

yesterday i spent the day with my biological dad. ayun. stuff.

alex paredes told me that bob ong's new book is out. it's "ang alamat ng gubat" and she said it reminded her of tau-tauhan. hehehe.. must grab me a copy right away! life is good.

my sister's friend died in the tsunami in thailand. she cried quite hard last night. i began thinking of a lot of stuff upon knowing that.

i thought of my friends. i was like making paramdam to a number of people last night. ang tawag sakin - praning? nah.. praning lang..

anyhoo, i'm still bangag today. i don't know where this entry will lead me. maybe my bed is calling me to sleep once more. i love you, bed!

i didn't see any stars in the sky last night. depressing.

i had fun in tita rose's place though.. we played "express yourself" and i won three times! hehe.. it's a fun game! they got it in the states but i think they have it in landes. hay, landes is the place to be! i'm telling you.. when i own a landes store and a different bookstore, then i play with all the landes toys and read all the books in a different bookstore, i'm ready to expire.

i'll go now. i'm bangag. *sneeze* i've been sneezing for 5 days and i still have the sniffles! grarr!

byebye! hachoo!

so i've submitted to conformity and i'm writing an entry dedicated to year 2004. i'm happy..

i'm thankful that 2004 happened. sure, my "simbang gabi wish" last year did not come true (and it still drives me to tears because that wish meant my life.) but i thought, what if it happened, and a different kind of 2004 came along with it? therefore i have no regrets.

i'm thankful that this year i met the freaks. that half-bluerep quarter-footloose and the-rest-from-wherevers-of-playshop group that became too attached that they did not want to let go come showtime. though the play "sideshow" was not really a blast because the story was not understandable (get this: i asked my mom the ending, she said that violet and daisy got separated!) i still enjoyed doing the whole thing, putting up with choreo, taking music to the next level, and meeting such wondrous gifts to theater. include teachers chari, ring, rony, dan and lizzie, and you would actually want people to pay for tickets just to watch the show! (ironically, people DID pay for tickets to watch the show.. hehe)

i'm thankful that i got gifts on christmas (the violin i've been praying for), the cds that limewire provided, the stuff from canada (a whole new wardrobe to convert me from such a manang to a fashionista), tito greg's homecoming along with his family, losing quite an amount of weight, and being with some people i love.

i'm happy even if i'm far from some people who mean a lot to me: pat, janine, inna, teruel, anne, mgal, kiko, cinco, lap, pam, patch, aika, the san mig choir of cinco, freaks, footloose people, etc. without them, i wouldn't be who i am, what i am, and proud of everything i am.

i'm thankful that i'm learning to deal with what i have. i've been given ii-6 and banaag this year, and i'm thankful that i'm slowly making my way up. hi to all the dolly fans!

i'm thankful that music accepted me. i thank God for having a finally-not-anymore-out-of-tune voice. thank God i could sing. thank God there are songs for me to sing. thank God there are microphones, pianos, guitars, and all sorts of instruments. thank God there is a stage where i could perform. thank God for music museum, and for all forms of stages. thank God for broadway. thank God most for showtunes.

thank God for teacher tony, teacher vannie, teacher tonipet, teacher jun o, teacher chari, teacher p.j, teacher ring, teacher rony, teacher dan, teacher lizzie and all the playshop teachers i have yet to meet and work with.

special mention to my dear friends (dream on!) stephen sondheim, andrew lloyd webber, don black, jason robert brown, sophie kinsella, cathy hopkins, abi aquino, adeline yen mah, and to bob ong!

thank God for theater.

thank God for the gift of friendship, for the gift of family, for the gift of freaks. thank God for the gift of being different. thank God i learned a lot in doing fables and parables, politically korekt, footloose, sideshow, ang paglilitis ni mang serapio, the importance of being ernest, rosas, and tau-tauhan. through those, i discovered that the best people on earth are destined for you to meet.

even if my uncle died, my sister's friend died, and more than 100,000 people died, life goes on.

anyhoo,

thank God for 2004.

and as i face 2005, with everything i have, everything i lost, and everything i gained, i know i would be able to survive.