a mind is very private..

hehehe,, i've got nothing to do today.. eh i dropped by friendster.. wala lang.. checking out the footloose people.. hehe,, i miss them..

yesterday's angst somehow subsided.. but then,, i'm still assed out..

i'm currently reading alexa's testimonials.. cuz i'm not sure if i made one for her already.. hehe,, whoa,, daming fans! hehehe.. most of her testimonials are from fans,, and wala lang.. it's so funny! hehe.. aie! i made her na pala a testimonial!

alexa,, i miss you so much! don't leave nalang! the footloose people are in different parts of the world na! sacki's in austria, red's in singapore, michelle might go back to the states.. you're going too? awww.....

then another random thought came to my absurd brain -- hehehe.. shopping! cuz i myt go to eastwood on saturday.. and eastwood = shopping! oh no!! hehe.. speaking of shopping,, i remembered how sheena got frustrated cuz we were all conversing in english while we were in the bazaar area.. she was like "wag kayo mag-english sa tiangge! hindi ako makakatawad!" hehehe.. wala lang..

saturday... hmmm.. birthday party ni lebs (banaager).. kaso lang,, 1st come 1st serve ako eh.. kaya i'll go to the one who asked 1st..

birthdays.. hmmm.. it's also kiara's birthday tomorrow! and her party on saturday! again,, i'll go with the one who asked first.. hehe,, happy birthday, kiara! oh! and on saturday,, birthday naman ni teki and dani.. happy birthday!

oh! speaking of teki and dani,, i remember last year,, there was this conversation..

(forgot.. bsta 1-3): ui! teki! sabay pala kayo ng birthday ni dani!
teki: ah talaga? bakit, dani, kelan birthday mo?

holy camote! hehehe..

holy camote.. with this expression,, i'm reminded of the freaks! i loooove the freaks so much! and i miss them all! i miss teacher chari na din! hehehe,, and teacher ring! and teacher rony! and teacher lizzie and teacher dan! we need a cast party!!

whoops! gotta go! my mom arrived na eh! i'll ask her na for gimmick-days.. wish me luck!

ang daming may birthday or magcecelebrate ng birthday sa weekend!

nanjan c lebs,, c dani,, c teki,, c kiara,, at ang latest addition,, ang cousin ko --- si hannah..

ka-ym ko si b.a,, kaya siguro ako nagtatagalog.. pasimuno kasi eh! nweiz,, pinag-usapan namin yung dami ng tao na may birthday this week.. sabi nya,, last week din daw sobrang dami.. pati daw sa april (bday nya),, madami.. sabi ko,, "buti pa ko,, unique.. january (21) yung birthday ko (ayan ah! alam nyo n kung kelan magbibigay ng gift!).. ayun.. tapos sabi nya,, marami daw may birthday ng january.. hindi ko lang alam..

and that drove me to a certain conclusion: lahat tayo, pinanganak! lahat tayo, may birthday!

happy birthday to you and to you
here's a big happy birthday times two
happy birthday from the whole damned crew
happy birthday to you and to you!
---the freaks

happy birthday sa lahat ng may birthday!! aie,, tayong lahat pala yun!

hmmm.. what happened during the day?

my mom drove poj, kyle and me to school.. holy camote the traffic! poj and kyle were dropped of first.. so we went to ateneo na.. we reached ateneo at 6:30.. then we got out at 7:10! it's suuuuper traffic! good thing i reached m.c. without being tardy! the blue batch was going down already so i had a hard time going up.. sikip kasi eh.. those seniors don't know how to make way.. i kept on bumping people.. sometimes without meaning it, sometimes on purpose.. hay nako,, once you're a senior,, you boss around a lot.. kaya kanina,, while going up,, i was like "we all want to pass, okay.. so if you're not gonna make way,, neither will i make way for you!" and so i achieved..

upon reaching my topmost-rightmost classroom, mafe was about to close na the door.. so was like, "wait lang! time out!" then i slammed my bag into a locker and went out.. luckily, i put my lip gloss in my pocket before going to school, so i was safe during the day..

we had a mass before proceeding with the thing (acquaintance day).. the priest was australian.. hmmm.. it's the first time that the priest wasn't either filipino or indian! hehehe..

the program thingie was okay.. nicky danced.. hehe,, freak on!

then it was our homeroom partner's birthday.. so my classmates told me to play punk'd with her.. during the thing in the classroom,, i walked out and then tippy followed me.. then dandan, nicole,, besa and other people were there na bigla.. then ayun.. turned out pretty well.. (remove the word "well" and you'd automatically think of me! hi achay!)

ayun.. we finished at 1pm.. then i had a banaag meeting from 1pm-3pm.. my mom and my sister picked me up, then we headed to eastwood! we had lunch (yes, at 4pm) in cafe adriatico.. then we went around,, i bought a watch and a pair of earrings.. then we roamed around lang.. i went to globe in the hopes of finally getting mms and gprs settings for my phone.. but i came out disappointed.. holy camote! it's been 6 months since i got my phone! (got it for xmas) and it doesn't have settings pa rin!?

then my sister and i went home.. i've been coughing really hard kasi since 1pm.. and well,, until now..

on the way home,, my sister was driving.. then at the u.p area,, there was a man crossing the street, wearing a mask, holding two guns which were both raised and held at the trigger.. and then,, the cars in front of us began moving so slowly.. then one car pulled over and some people opened the car doors..

now, who wouldn't get freaked out? my sister and i were practically shouting "oh my gosh! ang bagal!! go na! go! go! go!" cuz hello?! it was our first time to see such a sight!

from then on, we rushed to get out of the u.p area.. my sister was driving as if she's on a drag race!

then i texted some people.. out of instinct siguro.. ayun,, don't pass by the area and stuff..then i talked to God.. i thanked Him that nothing happened and all..

i arrived home with much tension in my system.. i freshened up and went online.. i Y!M-ed people and told them what happened.. then monik and b.a said that the guy was a lunatic.. his eyes are red daw.. probably on drugs..

but still! who wouldn't freak out after seeing that? mas creepy nga if the guy's insane eh!

nweiz,, i guess i'm calm now.. ayun,, thanks, Lord! you're the best!

i'm off to bed now.. i'm dead tired!

good night everyone!
freaks! i miss you!

i had quite a long day today.. here's the juice..

i woke up at 9am to watch studio D (which i plan to watch again tomorrow!) then i took a bath at 10 to prepare for eastwood.. and like what i learned last week, i shall not make my life complicated just because of trying on at least 4 outfits.. so today, i tried two..

i was in a roxy top, a denim skirt, and my roxy slippers.. my mom told me to change the slippers.. so i changed it to clogs..

we picked up my sister in ateneo (she had an accounting exam) then headed to eastwood.. when we arrived, my cousin and my aunt were the only ones there.. nothing's changed! everyone's late! holy camote..

imagine,, we were in one same place for four whole hours! kasi naman,, my mom's brother is always 2 hours late.. then he gets soooooooooooo caught up with conversations that he tends to make it last for two hours! we practically spent the whole time waiting! the kids were there (my nieces).. but they were lacking 2 members cuz reinn's in the hospital due to pneumonia.. and well,, her sister was stuck in there too.. as a result,, there were less children fighting.. there's no excitement.. we ended up being sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo bored..

then after four friggin boring hours, we roamed around eastwood.. but then, after like 50 meters of walking, those adults stopped again and talked for about 15 minutes.. my sister and my cousin thought it was so inconsiderate so we decided to go window shopping (they haven't given us the money yet at that time).. i saw jackets looking at me with puppy-eyes! they wanted me to purchase them!.. hayyy..

in that 15-minute roam, we realized that the adults left us... we went to the bazaar area in the hopes of finding stuff,, but then they told us to go to the fashion village.. so we didn't get to scan for stuff.. upon finding the adults,, we saw them talking.. AGAIN!! i mean,, when the hell could this thing stop?! my cousin and i got sooooooooo darn frustrated that we were at the escalators,, going up and down incessantly.. then once in a while we'd check out a store.. that talking took another 30 minutes of our time.. so by then,, hannah and i were holy camote-ish already..

near power station,, we were walking while ranting.. i was like "what in holy camote land are we going to do in here? if they wanted a family meeting,, they should do it in a house,, not a public place!" then hannah was like,, "i know i shouldn't be demanding and all, but hello? they're so inconsiderate! i want to celebrate my birthday! not look like a fool waiting for nothing!".. holy camote at its finest..

then the adults went up.. by that time,, hannah and i were making parinig already.. we were both saying "FINALLY! WE GET TO TRAVEL!" in each step that we took..

we reached a store, it's called "maxiworks" i think.. then hannah and poj picked out some toys.. the adults stayed outside, and yes,, TALKED! AGAIN!! i kept on going in and out of the store,, trying to keep my cool.. i was thinking, "what will happen to all the tops and the skirts and the jackets?! they're gonna rot in the store shelves forever if i don't shop!".. again, it took another agonizing, painful, exasperating, exhausting HOUR for us to get out of that store.. just because we were waiting.. talk about inconsideration at its best..

FINALLY, poj, hannah, and the kids were able to get what they wanted.. as for me and ate phoebe? we ran out of time.. they had to go already! i felt like crying already cuz my feet were so tired and my legs hurt so much and i was super bored! i know i showed quite a bratty side of me,, but i didn't care anymore! as for my shopping trip? it f*cking didn't push through.. they just left me cash.. holy camote.. i think when i grow up, i'll die of aggravation..

what did i learn? hmmm... the next time i go out, i shall splurge.. watch out, family!

i know i've been bad today,, but then,, who wouldn't get aggravated?! imagine,, they TALK AND TALK AND TALK,, and whenever i'd say that i'll just roam around and go somewhere,, they won't allow me! i'm 15 already! hmph.. the freak thing should have pushed through instead..

i had dinner at katipunan,, with ate phoebe, my mom, poj, and tito.. then joy and arbi followed.. they were looking for a place to go.. ayun,, they landed with us..

ate phoebe and i were supposed to go to the loop,, but then poj was with us,, so we weren't able to do so..

the day was agonizing, to be honest.. i came home with much dissatisfaction in my system.. no, i'm not saying that i hate my extended family.. it's just that,, it was waaaaaay different from what i expected..

what made me smile today? the messages on my phone from my friends.. and sharing the holy camote day with ate phoebe and poj and hannah -- sharing rants,, creating a bond.. and finally reaching home after quite a long day.. thanks, Lord!

i want to hug people and tell them how much i love them.. wala lang.. trip ko lang..

oh! yesterday, i brought back my habit of texting the message "i love you!" to random people in my phone book.. i did that basically to remind people that they're loved.. know what,, that action does wonders.. they reply telling me that they love me too,, or sometimes, they thank me for sending that cuz it brightened their gloomy day.. and it's very fulfilling to get those messages in return.. after texting such simple words..

then i remembered jen.. hehehe,, barney?!?!?!

aiee! speaking of barney,, he's coming to the philippines this coming week! my mom said eh.. he's performing at the aliw theater i think.. hehehe,, who wants to watch with me!? hehe,, kidding..

i guess i'm one of the few people who grew up actually liking barney! i remember in fourth grade, anna had this barney c.d,, and we were all singing along with it! hehehe.. the wonders done by a big purple dinosaur.. i dunno why people hate him.. ok lang naman ah! hehe,, memorize ko pa nga yung opening theme eh! i know A LOT of barney songs!! promise! hahaha!

now,, THAT's what makes me a freak!! hahaha! forgot to put that in my sideshow write-up!

i came home early today! i reached home at like 4:10 or something.. see, we had club meeting at lunch time thus making it a straight-home dismissal!

school was as usual, BORING! we had this honors' assembly,, which took like 2 hours.. imagine! wasting 2 hours?! hmph,, i should have stayed home.. i felt sooooo sleepy that my classmates' jokes aren't making me laugh anymore! to think i'm super mababaw! i was really overly major sleepy! i was sleeping with my eyes open!

tippy and i had this conversation kanina about awards.. sabi nya,, corny daw kapag sa school lang yung awards.. kaya daw paglaki nya,, she's gonna get an oscar! tapos ako naman,, i'll get a tony or a grammy! hindi naman kailangan ng algebra application dun eh! kaya puede kami makakuha.. what?! free to dream! but who knows,, they might come true!

then came recess.. ayun,, so-so.. the usual.. stuff..

english was so-so.. we were given the creative writing task.. my work was absurd.. hehe,, then we were given the public speaking task criteria.. we'll have exercises daw tomorrow.. blech.. i don't like public speaking --- when it's unreal, that is!

hmmm.. social studies.. we were talking about the races in asia and stuff.. then the population problem.. then sir jeff asked us why this family planning thing would never be applicable to filipinos.. i recited! hehehe,, and well,, i went,, "well,, filipinos have an inflated unemployment rate,, which means most of the filipinos stay home.. and with nothing to do or enjoy at home,, go figure!" hehehe.. i was given an absurd look.. i guess i was out of my mind..

then came math.. it was the long test results! and the quiz 3 results! whoops! pero i'm quite pleased with the outcome.. unlike last year! holy camote! that teacher! he doesn't know how to teach! kaya lahat kme bumabagsak sa quizzes and stuff! hehe.. this year's teacher is better than that bastard! hehe,, pero,, mrs marzo's still the best! (she's my math teacher... in grade one!)

then in c.l,, surprisingly,, we didn't have this "recollection-style" opening prayer! FIRST TIME! pero we had this lesson na.. kaya,, i spent my time doodling on my fave bratz notebook!

i fell asleep in one point during bio class.. i dunno.. basta all i remember is,, i was writing in my notebook,, then the next thing i know,, we were praying na! holy camote!

p.e was okay.. we didn't sweat cuz we just discussed.. we're taking up badminton! yipee!

i rode with ange on the way home! thanks, neighbor! hehehe,, sa exams ulet! like always!

and i'm home now! reading freakmails.. you know,, mail from the best people to ever walk the planet!

LOVE YOU, FREAKS!

we've got 3 fish today.. actually, more than 3.. 3 subjects,, aie 4 pala! oh no! grarrr! there's fil, c.l,, then bio and social.. HOLY CAMOTE!!!!! we have a take home quiz in social,, then 2 journal entries in social.. for bio, another journal entry, aside from the one we have to update weekly.. c.l requires a timeline.. for fil, there's this poem we have to work on (a friggin metered one at that! hay,, i'm a freak for freeverse poems!),, then theres a pic and explanation thing.. most of the stuff we need are for friday.. but then, i'm tamad to work! considering the fact that i'd get dismissed at 6pm everyday starting tomorrow! hay,, i better start later..

funny kanina,, wala lang,, joketime kme nila tippy and meily and patlim! hehe,, seatmates.. hehe,, wala lang.. classes eh.. ang boring.. i fell asleep nga ng c.l eh!

hmmm.. it was the audition for the next banaag prod.. *cough cough*.. wala lang.. frustrating.. pat knows why,, jow knows why.. yun lang!

we finished at 6:15 today.. by then, i got 11 missed calls from my sister.. holy camote! see that, people!? it interferes with my way of life! hay, here i am again, making parinig to thin air.. wala na ko mggwa..

oh! chic grabbed my journal today.. i was like,, OH NO!! NOOOOO!! cuz it contained things that are for freaks only.. and it contained,, well,, things that she shouldn't know! when she tried opening it, i screamed and reached for it and stuff! wala lang.. i freaked out..

on the way home, i left my journal in the back seat.. eh my sister's blockmates rode with us for a group study here at home.. ayun.. wala lang.. the story on the journal? here goes..

cueps: ui! nag-ttrumpets ka pala?!
me: yeah..
cueps: tapos banaag ka din?
me: oo..
cueps: oh, stage manager ka ngayon!
me: teka lang.. parang.. OH MY GOSH! ANU BA!!??!?!?

he read my journal!

hehehe.. it's okay.. he couldn't relate naman eh..

ayun.. hehe,, upon entering the village gate,, we saw this girl who had really long hair.. it reached her ass na.. then denise thought that maybe the hair could smell like ass.. then i thought,, what if she farted? would we see her hair being blown? hmmmm...

think about it..

hayy,, here's today's freakmail! gotta reply! hehe,, ciao!

MISS YOU, FREAKS!

oh! i forgot to make kwento! yesterday in bio class, i had a butt-burning moment! hehe,, the conversation went this way,,

ms delfin: so! who remembers the definition of sexual and assexual reproduction? *the room turns quiet.. and i let out a smile.. ms delfin sees it* perhaps pauline would like to try!

me: (i remember pullout 4 in 4th grade! the frog example!) um, uhh, sexual reproduction requires physical contact while assexual doesn't?!

ms delfin: what do you mean by "physical contact?" in sexual reproduction?

me: (turning red and jittery) uhh,, an egg cell and a sperm cell?

ms delfin: which means the process requires....?

me: sex!

then ms delfin told me to be seated.. hehehe.. dangerous daw ako sumagot! for a moment there, i felt franco and franz' presence! hahaha! whatever! anu ba?! sabi ko my mind will be clean again! it's not happening!

nweiz,,
i came home with a heavy soul and a tortured mind.. in short, i'm deteriorating..

i went to school with much hyperactivity screaming in my system.. i looked so alive.. then as the day progressed, i didn't go on with it..

the class was boring,, the stuff were boring,, pretty much the so-so day..

club time meant club acquaintance day.. ayun,, they had fun.. i had a headache..

promise! this headache's so bad trip! it hasn't gone away until now.. i have to do a lot of things and this is what comes my way? how can i get things done easily?!

my thoughts are so disorganized.. with a lot to do, i dunno which thing to do first!

i like my current YM status.. hehe,, it goes,, "super stressed.. i'm sorry,, i have a lot to do.. freaks and long lost friends may bug.. to the rest of you,, starting to bug me means ending your life!"

i have to wrap up.. and promise to do a better blog entry tomorrow night..

night night!

i love you, freaks! i need you!

hehehe,, i played it last night in ps2.. while waiting for my sister to finish using the computer.. kaso lang,, hmmmm.. that didn't happen!

i also didn't get to go online last thursday! hmph! grarrrr!! c ate kc eh.. buti nalang i "advertised" the american idol game in ps2.. that's gonna keep her hooked for quite a while! and that's the reason why i'm blogging na now!

nweiz,, last thursday,, hmmm.. what happened nga pala?! ayun!! hehe,, wala lang.. nag-share kme ni jow ng angst.. tapos we ended up crying.. sha tumigil agad.. ako nag-last from school until i went to bed to go to sleep.. hayaan mo jow,, magkasama tayong mag-pprotest.. sa lahat!

friday,, wala lang din.. as usual,, 6pm ako nakauwi.. hrmph.. then tal asked me if i was okay cuz she saw me crying last thursday.. i said yes.. what? white lies don't hurt! i guess..

then last night,, upon reaching home,, i turned on the t.v.. the news was on,, and then i was super shocked with what i saw.. the filipino hostage in iraq.. then there were 3 iraquis around him,, and it was the ultimate guilt trip! pero seriously,, i felt pity for him and for the country.. naks ang patriotic ko! pero promise,, sobrang,, oh my gosh..

nweiz,, i myt go to st paul later.. not sure pa.. cuz pat invited me to go to galle later.. c anne daw yung transpo if i go pa to st paul instead of str8 to galle.. pero if late n kme umalis,, eh di,, i won't drop by "real home" anymore..

i'm bringing pat home din tonight.. hehe,, yey! car trip with pat! yipee! we've got lots of stories to tell..

oh!! akafellas is gonna have a concert in mc next week.. ate joy said i might see kuya franco.. hehehe,, yipee! a freak!

nweiz,, this week, i'm thankful for,,
*being allowed to go with pat and the others later! (i miss them so much!)
*a YM session with ate joy right now
*the quote (na may double meaning) that jow sent me..
*the better grades in math compared to last year.. thanks for nothing, sir!
*a perfect score in english (the public speaking task) hehe,, yipee!
*my friends who are there in holy camote moments (thanks so much, pat! for last thursday..)
*the freaks!
*God for always being with me..

gotta scram!

b.a, sheena, ate joy.. i'm next!

ISFJ

Ok. You are sympathetic, loyal, considerate, and conscientious. You will go to any amount of trouble, when it makes sense to you, to help those in need. You are responsible and enjoy being needed. (by friends.. not by tormentors..) You are down-to-earth and realistic and like others who are quiet and unassuming. You absorb and enjoy using a large number of facts.

You like situations where the rules are well defined and where traditions are to be upheld. You focus on providing practical help and services for others and for the organizations you serve. You have a strong work ethic.

You can be painstakingly accurate and systematic in handling tasks...you're conservative with traditional values...quiet and modest...tactful and supportive of friends and family...

You are often self-effacing in getting the job done, and are willing to make necessary sacrifices, especially for your family. (the biological one and of course,, the freaks!) You are at your best quietly providing assistance and making sure things are in order.

You have a few close friends, don't like disharmony, and try to keep cooperation at all costs... you'll stay close friends with that tight circle for a LONG time...(i sure hope so!)worry a lot...

You need to have things organized in a way you think works.. you cannot work when things are out of order...when things are in disarray, you have to reorganize 'em immediately....you get involved with leisure ONLY after all the work is done... (i'm becoming like this na now.. weird noh?)

You have a tendency to put off relaxing because there's too much work to be done...you enjoy time with your family...you fall in love hard when you fall. You place a high value on marriage and family...you seek out a partner and feel unfulfilled without one. you most likely are a good student because you diligently follow through in your work to please your teachers (kadiri ah! nde noh!).....you learn best by DOING...

You tend not to be the center of attention (no!)...often appear serious...others like trying to get a laugh or a smile out of you (yeah!)...you get angry or bitter when scorned...but you keep it inside... (sometimes..)

Possible blindspots: because you are SOOOO in the present, you have a hard time seeing possibilities or consequences of your actions...can become mired in the daily grind...don't forget to express your bottled-up feelings...you can be taken advantage of.... could be pessimistic about the future because it's unknown and you rely on past experiences.....you want to plan too much.

ISFJ: "I Serve Family Joyfully"

i reached home at exactly 1:00a.m.. hehehe,, and God, this day rocked!

i woke up and did my usual routine,, then ate lunch while watching the uaap opening.. (ANIMO LA SALLE!!) hehehe.. then by 2pm, i started getting ready and stuff.. hee!

kaso lang kainis,, we left the house at 4pm na! and i was supposed to be in galle at 4pm! had we left earlier, nakadaan pa sana ko ng spcp.. gosh,, i miss my friends!

i reached galle by 5pm.. hehe,, wala lang.. i told them i was in the libis area na when in fact i was still in front of ateneo! hehe,, got that from my mom!

we were 4 only.. pat, teruel,, janine, and pretty me! well,, even if we were only 4, at least i felt "home" again.. thanks a lot, guys!

gosh we were so noisy in galle! hehehe,, we were supposed to watch a movie but we didn't cuz the lines were so long! and besides,, bonding won't occur in a movie house or else we'd get shooed! so we ate muna.. and then talked of course.. then we went to solo and played with pat! haha,, we made her fit this hot pink top and a short hot pink skirt! hahaha! theni bought the hot pink top and gave it to her as a super belated birthday gift! onga pala,, sayang walang camera! grarrr... pat looked soooo cute!

then we went around lang.. and decided to get a pic.. we went the thing where you get i.d pics.. yung 1 minute lang yata yun.. kaso lang the girl said we werent allowed cuz we were many.. (doi!? 4 lang kme!) so we went to dreamscape to get neoprints instead! grabe ah! janine was covering the whole screen! of all the 16 different pix,, mga 8 dun,, puro face nya lang! ANG VAIN MO JANINE!! WEHEHEHEHEHE...

during the neoprint, we heard the rollercoaster in dreamscape.. then naaliw kme! hehe,, so we went inside and rode the rollercoaster! hahaha! then we shrieked a lot! hehe,, so ngayon,, my cough is getting worse again! then i told janine that i saw her in dreamscape back in 4th grade with her dad and je.. then wala lang.. naaliw sha.. so as we went out, we asked the girl in the customer relations booth kung how old na yung dreamscape.. she asked us why,, haha! trip down memory lane na 'to eh!

we shopped din for earrings! i bought 3 pairs! hehehe,, oh no! grabe,, ang gastos ko today!

then we went to "the traditional auntie anne's" where everyone waits! hehe,, tambayan ng paulinian! hahaha! janine left,, then teruel left.. awww.. in short, kami nalang ni pat! we looked around pa again.. neoprint nga dapat ulet eh,, kaso lang, it was closed na.. so we went to national and i bought two books! then we hung and bonded.. pero thankfully, wala namang iyakan.. well,, actually, i was in the brink of crying already, pero i didn't want to push through with it.. then my mom came..

in olympic (my mom and tito were playing badminton), we went to the lounge,, kaso lang they were about to close na.. i just bought a drink and ayun.. pat listened to some mp3's in my phone.. hehe,, she got to listen to kuya macky's version of "stay!" and she said it was so galing! ayun,, more bonding there.. then we went to the locker room.. we fixed ourselves and stuff.. ehehehe.. tapos since the locker room is air-conditioned and has benches, we hung out there nalang.. we talked about a LOOOOOOOT of things! sobra! gosh, i missed her so much! we talked about topics like school, teachers,, politics,, whatevers,, reminiscing moments,, relationships, and sex! hehe,, i loooove bonding!

we left olympic at 11p.m.. we went to krocodile and ate dinner.. there, pat and i bonded some more! grabe, the best! sabi ko nga since late na, sleepover nalang sha at my place eh! sayang!

we finished dinner at midnight.. then we dropped pat in her place.. while in the car, we were making lots of kwento.. i remembered being in the school bus with her, when we'd make kwento from dismissal time until we reached her place! everyday yun! from grade 5 til grade 7! twas a great 3 years! (oh my gosh, im getting teary-eyed!) all the day's happenings, to the man who was removing his wedgy in quezon ave, to the imaginary food trip! grabe! sobrang everything!

and here i am now,, at home.. thankful for the day that was.. i'm so fulfilled.. even if we weren't complete, i was happy that i got to taste "home" once more.. (and now i'm officially crying!) and i thank janine, pat, and teruel for giving me that same feeling again today.. i'm slowly losing touch with my old batchmates.. they've got their own set of friends now.. they're sophomores already and it's my 2d year without seeing them everyday.. and i'm happy cuz even for just one day, i saw the people i could relate to, the people i run to for help, the people who get my jokes and laugh at my corniest ones,, the people i call "my friends"..

like what ate binky said,

thank you, Lord, for the gift of friendship..

ngayon ang unang laban ng ateneo at ng la salle para sa uaap season ng taon..

ang ibig sabihin nyan, may giyera na naman sa aking munting tahanan..

peace starts at home.. pero kung walang peace sa home, hala na!

wala akong care!

basta,,

ANIMO LA SALLE!

walang kokontra!

hay,, the game is done, and it was a good game.. a great one in fact..

ateneo won by a few points.. and yeah, this is history.. they defeated the la sallians who are tired of winning the 1st game.. hehe,, after 16years..

ganda ng YM stat ko ngayon.. "a true archer is humble in victory and gracious in defeat.. in short, hindi sila mga atenistang mayabang!"

i'm kind of down because of la salle's defeat.. but that doesn't affect me much.. fine, i'm siding with la salle, but heck, i'm not a la sallian!

i'm depressed.. i've read quite a number of blogs today.. whoa.. i never thought depression ran through their veins too!

time alone is treasured today.. i love the feeling, and yet i hate it..

why in holycamoteland am i thinking too much!?

but one thing made my eyes well up today.. and that was quite a breakdown.. like last night, i'm crying while blogging.. hah! like kuya macky said, "all hail the multitasking queen!" hehe,, all hail queen pauline --- who looks mega stupid..

onga pala,, kuya franco's boys are performing in miriam on saturday.. will the freaks be present? i sure hope so..

it's been a while since i went to my tabulas gallery.. wala lang.. i saw the sideshow pix and felt sad.. then i went to the egroups.. no new message was there to read.. i was left with a blank face and a disheartened soul.. i've long been wanting to hear from the freaks, especially those who don't talk much..

here's something to keep me occupied.. i'm playing with the toy kuya macky showed me.. hee! i got quite a number of minus ones in here already! though i can't record songs now cuz it's quite late and i might wake up those who are going to school tomorrow (in case you're wondering, i got no classes tomorrow..).. ayun.. but come to think of it,, i won't ever have a chance of recording here at home.. so now, i'm just listening to the tracks i got.. hehehe.. hanggang panaginip na lang 'to!

gosh, i miss the summer.. i miss sleeping whatever time i want to sleep.. i miss having fun homework such as researching on your character and writing your objective for each line you'd say.. that'd be the only homework and then i could go to sleep and prepare for the next day's blahs.. i miss going to class at 3pm and getting dismissed at 6:30.. i miss kfc invasions.. i miss performing with the people i love for the people i love.. i miss music museum.. i miss the "private conversation" dream sequence.. i miss the shivers i got upon singing "who will love me as i am?" while mtg got that feeling of energy travelling around the room.. i miss holy camotes and the patatasfritas.. i miss new york lemonade.. the gimmicks,, the pranks, the bumming around when there's no playshop, enjoying the day when there's playshop, the friends, the fun, the freaks..

dagnabbit.. 2 months of school and i'm ranting about how i miss the summer.. move on, pauline! (i can't.. forgive me..)

don't i just suck?!

(in a japanese accent) it suck to be me! it suck to be me!.. hehehe..

i have to retire now.. i need it badly! oh no! eyebags might attack! i'm going to the doctor pa tomorrow.. damn.. kung kelan walang school eh.. sana one of these days, i'll skip school na lang to go to the doctor!

hehehe.. good night..

tomorrow,, i'll pretend to be happy.. and i'll do it again on tuesday! and the day after that!

who am i kidding?!

ewan.. wala lang.. maybe i woke up on the wrong side of the bed..

i was chatting with ate joy last night.. hehe,, e-bonding! wala lang,, i miss her.. kaso lang at 3:30am, my mom caught me.. so i went to my bedroom.. grarr.. e-bonding was fun! ate joy emailed me this game thingy and i got a 26/100 while she got a 99! hahaha! swear,, i don't know any of those! yung last one na nga lang, hindi ko pa nakuha! hehehe.. oh! and funny how we kept on yawning at the same time.. i'd go, "i just yawned.." then she'd answer, "me too!" hehehe..weeeeeird...

i woke up at 9:30 today.. then i felt soooooo sleepy that time! grarr! but i had to wake up cuz i had to go to the doctor.. we left home at 11 and reached st luke's at 11:30.. yata.. hehe,, i slept in the car eh..

yun,, the doctor was sooooooo tagal! grarr.. so we left at like 2:30?! not sure.. ayun,, grarr.. i killed time

i reached home at 4, then i slept.. i was supposed to do bio homework, but then my body didn't cooperate, so i slept instead.. then i woke up at 5:30.. i felt soooo mega cranky! nakakabanas! and til now, i'm cranky! i think i'm sleepy na ulet.. what's happening?! why am i sleepy!?!?

onga pala, i'll skip banaag rehearsals on thursday, and i might be late on saturday.. kasi i have to go back to the doctor.. on saturday,, i'll have blood tests! argh! they'll extract blood twice pa daw?! like hello? i hate blood tests! nawawalan na nga ko ng blood eh! langya naman oh! ayan tuloy, i'm not sure na if i'm watching the akafellas gig.. hmph.. argh,, grarr..

i'm having a headache.. and i'm frustrated.. i'm sleepy.. haha,, tantrums for me!

i want to update my journal.. the other journal, i mean.. ang laki na ng kasalanan ko sa journal na yun! more than a week without writing?!

darn,, i'll reread pa pala the poem in english,, kasi naman, i have to do dramatic reading pa.. with dandan,, then with jinky and tricia..

speaking of jinky and tricia,, the three of us became kuya macky's classmates! haha! jinky and tricia worked with him in rep, and i freaked with him in playshop! like kuya macky said, sha yung kuya ng bayan! hahaha! it shows.. akala ko small world lang.. hindi pala!

whoops! bio journal pa pala! oh no! so that means i'll be quite occupied din tonight.. pero lighter loads na lang..

i'm depressed.. holy camote.. and i'm having allergies na.. maybe cuz of the shrimp.. i'm itching all over! grarrr..

ito pa dag2 bad trip.. my ym stat says "bad 3p.. i need freaks.." tapos may non-freaks pa rin na nag-msg.. and their messages would make you more bad trip pa.. kaya nag-invisible na lang ako.. wala lang..

gotta scram.. wala lang.. i'm sleepy na eh..

kaasar.. i slept at 12:30 last night.. kasi naman, i finished the bio journal.. ayun,, tapos before i went to sleep pa, i had a nosebleed! buti nalang i had cotton beside me that time! it stopped din after 10 minutes or so.. but it came back in the morning..

i'm lost.. i think i'm getting schizophrenic again..

when i got to school, i was the usual "sabog" me who would enter the caf and look for friends.. ayun,, then funny, when krizia, elphie and i were going upstairs (from the caf to the h.s building),, we felt sooo tired agad! haha! mga tamad! if that was tiring already, how much more on the way to my topmost-rightmost classroom? holy camotes attack!

classes started.. as our homeroom adviser came in, cala, tippy, meily and i squirmed!! hahaha! kami lang nakakaalam kung baket! MEILY!! PEDO!!! PEDO!! PEDO!! hahaha! eeeewwwwwwwww...

then ayun,, darn, i got a 16/20 in the social studies quiz.. holy camote! sir naman! i did what i could do! that didn't satisfy you?! hmph.. whatever! good side, we got plus points cuz ateneo won against la salle, and sir jeff's an atenean.. whatever! eh sa la salle naman sha nag-hs,, admu lang nag-college.. whatever!

then next was bio.. the long tests were given back.. holy camote! i got a 78.5/100! hayy,, patatasfritas it's so low! pero well, i guess it's not that bad considering the fact that i didn't study.. pero still, holy camote pa rin!

in math naman, i think we had a quiz.. oh yeah we had a quiz! hehehe,,

next was c.l! sir pino filled in for sir valenton.. at last! a decent c.l session! haha! sir pino showed us the pix of bill gates, britney, etc.. hehe,, then britney's frontals were censored by a marker! pero ang weird.. during c.l,, nag-shshiver ako.. i'd feel goosebumps from time to time all throughout the class.. nweiz, jinky said she saw something beyond normal during c.l class.. hehe.. what was that kaya?!

filipino,, as usual, we continued the bio of francisco balagtas before moving on to florante and laura.. then ms macapagal gave us quite a sermon.. haha,, she looked funny! and yeah, i'm mean!

english was so kaaliw! dandan, jinky and i did na the dramatic reading.. twas funny! hay nako tricia,, nag-absent ka kasi eh! ayun,, then some groups did some reporting.. wala lang.. tomorrow pa my group eh.. we were supposed to have all groups in the same day but then ms vem was sooo talkative.. aminado naman eh! hehehe,, ayun,, out of 8 groups, only 3 got to report.. weird nga eh,, hehe,, ms vem was seated beside tippy.. tapos wala shang paki,, nag-iingay kami ni tippy dun! wehehe..

then it was banaag rehearsal til 6pm.. and now, i'm dead tired..

going back to the being schizophrenic.. why do i think it's happening again?

well,, i've had a LOT of moodswings today.. one moment i'd be all cheery and ballistic, then i'd be whining and ranting and even crying all of a sudden.. hayy.. weird..

i miss you, freaks! i'm lost..

hehehe,, changed it last night..

"a mind is very private.. all, except for mine.."

how in holycamoteland could it be private when i religiously update this blog?! wala lang..

my day was quite long.. hehehe,, but since it's wednesday, we only had four subjects..

first up was T.H.E.. we had cooking (ng ina mo?! hehehe,, ay! bad!) and it was fun naman.. hehe,, we were making ms romero kulet to give us a 10 nalang.. then ms romero and i were ranting about having no lovelife.. wehehe.. i liked cooking knina..

we were given around an hour lang to cook 2 dishes! i left the cooking to my groupmates.. hehe,, nag-chop lang ako ng stuff then i set the table.. i let my "creative juices" flow! good enough, we were commended cuz of my rushed concept..

no one brought tablecloth, the centerpiece, and placemats.. buti nalang we were supposed to wear sarongs! i laid 3 sarongs on the surface, then i folded the 4 sarongs into placemats.. the centerpiece naman, buti lang nina brought flowers! and pat i brought candles! ayun, we asked for one of nancy's glasses,, then i cut the flowers, then i placed pat's candle below mine.. voila! hahaha!

ayun, english was next! group presentations! hehehe, we were supposed to be 5 in the group.. but then 2 of them were absent.. they were supposed to give pa naman the storyline.. ayun,, lenel, maiah and i made an impromptu presentation.. hahaha!

math,, so-so.. ang corny,, pero ang high ko nung math.. high meaning bangag..

shits! we had a long test in filipino.. yeah, the life of balagtas.. to those who haven't had it yet, it was quite easy.. ask me nalang in the morning..

club naman, prod meeting..

it pretty much ends there!

oh! last night, out of nowhere, i placed the sideshow farewell video in the dvd player.. kahiya but i cried.. yipes! hay nako,, kuya macky! where's your scoreboard?!?

whoops! i'm off to the fil. homework now! i have to make a metered poem! holy camote! in filipino pa! of all subjects! grarr.. sana english nalang..

I MISS YOU, FREAKS!!

imma keep it short.. i think.. i might.. i should..

i feel so immature! i had tantrums all night tonight.. i'm not sure if it's ceased already.. well,, come whatever, i feel quite bad..

but it feels great too! you know, throwing tantrums and laughing afterwards..

oh! i finished reading DRAMA QUEEN by abi aquino during the rehearsals.. i felt kilig all over my body.. kaso lang, i got no lovelife eh.. kaya no use..

i got frustrated at how my day went.. i'll expound when i have more time.. maybe tomorrow night..

got home at 9pm.. friggin rehearsals ended at 530.. got picked up at 7, picked up my mom in shang at 8 and reached home by 9..

i was sooooooo pissed! how could they have ended so early when i asked my sister to pick me up at 6pm which turned out to be 7pm?! and yesterday, left at around 530 naman! they they ended quite late..

nucking futs.. okay, i want to curse, but i want self-control after all the tantrums..

holy camote, after how many friggin hours, i finally have just 1 homework left (out of all the 5 i had to do).. lab report is done! and so is the reflection paper! and the poem in music class, and the thing in filipino.. finally, there's only frigging math to worry about..

pero i kind of cooled down din when b.a ym-ed me and shared ka-cornihan once more.. he had this objective of making me smile.. thanks! it worked..

thanks for the day, Lord! not quite what i expected, but still, i am thankful!

tomorrow (or maybe in around 19 hours since it's midnight),, i shall answer emails! i got 1 survey waiting first in line!

today was horrible!

it all started with social studies! ****! fine, the video we watched was completely alien.. it was garbage.. grarr.. and to add to that are the newly-enforced class rules.. it's nonsense! it's trash! it's pointless! whoever thought of that is sooooo stupid! ang malabo lang, kinampihan naman ni pedo.. tsss.... basta,, there's this set of rules and you have to pay 5 bucks for each violation.. the list includes being noisy, standing up without permission, all the petty stuff which drives one insane..

anyways, i was commenting on how absurd the video was.. then one of the class officers told me that i have a warning for being noisy.. wow,, talk about freedom of expression.. what the fuck,, i was seated in the back row, and the officer was right behind me, malamang, whatever comment i give, maririnig nya! diba?! so she gave me a second warning.. i got pissed cuz of turning to them na lang lagi just to be given this childish warning.. so in return, since 5 bucks is charged for every violation, i gave her 200 bucks and told her to fuck off and bug someone else.. haha,, shallow, i tell you..

i'm in ym with mafe right now,, telling her everything.. wala lang.. sana naging eye-opener toh.. at sana tama yung analogy ko.. since the officer got the money nga naman, what i did was like paying in advance for the violations i will commit.. parang in church, i'll go to confession and inform the priest and God ahead of time that i'll sin.. para that way, forgiven na ko for the mistakes i'll deliberately do in the future.. now who would do such a thing, diba?

sabi na nga ba, it's plain crap..

we had a talk kanina after recess.. about love and relationships.. some of our teachers shared lovelives.. hayop,, ayoko na ah! lagi nalang love! anu ba?! anu bang meron sa love? sila, may engaged, may married with children, at sadly, may torpeng single.. nakakatakot.. anu kayang magiging future ko? will i get married? how long should i wait? will i be forever single!? oh no! no! no! it's not a dream,, it's a nightmare!

after their speeches,, we asked questions.. ayun,, since no one dared to approach the mic, i was the first one to go.. i asked why all the good men are either taken or gay.. then i asked if i'm a hopeless case when it comes to love..

the talk was nice.. it was quite interesting in fact.. i learned naman kahit paano.. kaso lang nakakainis kasi ang mushy nila.. kung kelan naman galit ako sa love..

ayoko na.. tama na..

the rest of the day was as boring as how it started.. assessment? social studies sucked because of one person.. the talk sucked because i'm not into love.. last 2 periods were agonizing (i haven't had a wink of sleep yet since last night, remember?!) cuz i was sooooo uber sleepy! i spent bio class trying my best to stay awake.. then music class, since it was before dismissal, i spent my time doing kikay stuff (i'm seated at the back row.. so i could fix myself up.. blessing, noh?) oil film, lip gloss, mirror, perfume, powder.. what more could i ask for?

oh! i'm thankful for:
-the text messages from the freaks
-freakmail
-God
-my friends
-going home early
-my family
-cinco
-the freaks..

i'll scram now!

replies:

hase: i don't care about how much the charge is for every violation.. i'm willing to pay a thousand bucks or even more.. what's pissing me off lang is, they do that in front of teachers which degrade the teachers din naman.. it's a form of disrespect kasi ur doing that when the teacher should be the one doing it.. gets mo? kahit 1 million pa for every violation, wala akong paki.. basta do it in moderation.. do it when the class isn't under supervision..

pam: i love you so so so much! you know what, my life sucks right now.. just take a look at my previous entry, and the tags before ur tag.. i hate being in miriam.. ayoko nang itago, promise.. i've been containing myself for more than a year,, and this time, it's just gone too far.. i miss you, pam! help me get out of hell!

to the anonymous tagger: so like i said, bawal na mag-express ng opinion? you're so shallow! i hate narrow-minded people! lalo na yung mga nag-ssubmit sa anonimity.. it's such a cowardly act.. kaya yes, you're a coward.. "if you don't want to pay, follow the rules.." i don't care if i have to pay.. okay? gets mo? like i said,, kahit 1M per violation, i don't care!

BREATHE, PAULINE..

today's such a loooooong day!

i woke up at 6 cuz i thought i have to be in st. lukes by 8.. ayun pala, my mom woke up at 8 and we left at 9..

i had blood extracted.. twice! and it still sort of hurts til now.. *cry* i hate blood tests..

because the blood test took quite long, i wasn't able to make it to the banaag rehearsal today.. oh well.. we finished at 1:30 na eh.. grarr.. kaya i didn't make it na..

then later naman, i'll watch the akafellas concert in miriam (i'm watching to see the performers.. though i hate the venue, wala akong choice eh.. chka i miss the freaks na.. malay mo, maki-join yung ibang freaks kay kuya franco!).. ayun.. i'm ready for a loooong night na din..

oh! last night! i got super scared! wala lang.. i had a bunch of laughs at first,, pero after a while, gosh, i was quite worried!! wala lang.. i won't tell why!!

nweiz,, wala lang.. i miss the paulinians na.. i miss CINCO already! nag-miss calling kame ni aika today.. i miss her na.. then pam tagged.. i miss her na din! then birthday ni jo and ni jenna and ni marj today! happy birthday! miss ko na din kayo!

i'll text love messages tonight.. wala lang.. i'll remind people that they're loved by moi! hehehe.. like i do on saturday mornings.. i decided to move the timeslot to night time.. wala lang.. para they'll sleep with a smile..

i miss my friends.. i feel so sad! i know i should welcome new company but then,, it's just too hard..

last night was a blast cuz i saw 2 freaks.. thanks, Lord!

i went to miriam cuz of this concert.. the akafellas performed!! hee! wala lang.. they were so amazing!

nweiz,, during the concert, i was with meily and tippy and a couple of other people.. ate binky said that ate kyla was gonna be there.. so i texted ate kyla and asked her.. then she said she's gonna be there but kuya franco myt not make it.. nweiz,, ayun,, during the 2d performer yata yun,, i heard some people around me saying "uy! si franco! si franco!" hahaha! twas so funny! then i followed kuya franco in the hopes of finding ate kyla too! i went to the control booth, spotted ate kyla,, and tapped her on the shoulder!

i felt heaven as she hugged me.. then kuya franco saw me and hugged me too.. gawd, i miss the freaks so much.. and seeing two freaks last night made me feel comfortable despite all the holy camotes surrounding me.. going back,, they told me that the akafellas were up next..

while the boys were introduced, kuya franco told us that he wanted to shove the host out of the stage.. actually, i wanted to do the same since the show started.. believe me, if he's a good host, no one would be a bad host.. promise!

upon hearing the name "akafellas," all the people rushed towards the stage! then there are cameras clicking everywhere! may primitive, may digital, may cellphone,, lahat! then they were really cheering so loudly! grabe! then one of them said that "the knollers are the hottest women" or something of that context.. they cheered even louder! kuya franco said it always happens.. haha!

during their turn onstage,, i was with ate kyla and kuya franco.. ate kyla was watching right beside me, while kuya franco was in the control booth.. the control booth was amazing! it was the ultimate "oooh,, what does this button do?!?!" moment! hehehe,, then ayun,, grabe yung crowd! ate kyla told me nga that may nagchcheer every 5 seconds.. she's right!

they performed a couple of songs, and they were great! the cheers were well-deserved.. sobra! ayun, as they ended, kuya franco and ate kyla had to leave na din.. so they gave their last hugs and kissess,, then they left na.. i thanked God for the 30 minutes or so that He gave me to be with two freaks..

after that, i had a freak-hangover.. of course i went back to my classmates,, but i got lost in my thoughts.. i thought of the freaks again.. how we used to go out and do things together, to watch Il Divino, to plan on the playbill, to watch Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen (with the boys, even if it's a chic-flick!), and all that! now we're lost in our own worlds, trying to cope even if it hurts..

i texted gab.. we texted til midnight.. and well,, we shared about how we miss the freaks already,, how we wanted a freakparty to finally be within our reach.. kaso nga lang, like what's happening right now, we have our own social gatherings, business endeavors, schoolwork for the young 'uns,, the list doesn't stop.. sana one saturday, the freaks would all be busy --- busy being together and spending time with one another..

why does school have to get in the way? i hate school..

like my YM status says, "i live cuz of the freaks..."

thanks, gab, for the text conversation.. thanks ate kyla and kuya franco, for the company and the hugs and the kisses,, i missed those.. thanks sheena, for the YM conversation..

i could go on and on,, but it lands on one thing:

thanks, freaks,, for your existence..

i watched WHACKED a couple of minutes ago..

it was alexa's farewell episode.. awwww..

footloose mtg '03 loses another cast member again.. first it was sacki,, then red, and now alexa..

i'll miss that little girl with a big voice who's surprisingly my age but looks a lot younger!

like what ate joy said,

"bato bato sa langit, ang tamaan, malas.."

school started fine today.. i talked to God right before doing my morning routine..

commercial! thanks sheena! i really neede comfort.. thank God you came to the rescue!

back..

i came to school in an unusually hyperactive mood.. we had 2 periods of english cuz we badly needed it.. ayun, tippy and i were so hyper! i never imagined that things would end up so differently..

i went home keeping my tears from falling.. yes, i cry too, despite this strong facade.. in fact, i cry a lot! i throw tantrums, i tend to be moody.. they do me good..

start?.. 3...2...1... explode!

-i hate how you tend to say that you're "not siding with anyone" when i saw you at recess time telling on me..

-i hate how you wouldn't admit that you're a bad director when in fact you are.. ayoko na ah.. i know you know who you are.. i hate you! i hate you! i hate you! if you think i'm a bad SM then you're the worst director to ever walk the planet! and excuse me, your voice isn't nice at all! i hate hearing your voice! i hate how you tend to belt out a song and say "i'm getting ready for my vocal exam" just to show off to people and squeeze your guts out to be praised! the hell! i hate you!

-i hate how you always say "classmates, quiet! hoy ikaw, first warning!... second warning!" warningin mo mukha mo! warning ka jan!?

-i hate how you told people that you're "just doing your job" and all that shit when in fact it's total power tripping!

-i hate the way you don't know a single thing about theater and now you're the friggin know-it-all, powertripping director.. make me quit,, and what? put yourself on display?! ass..

-i hate the way you promote bias.. just cuz she's exposed, you kiss up on her? that's soooo cheap of you!

-i hate the way you do everything for money.. and what? give me a warning?

-i hate it how i'm wasting my time in miriam when i could spend my days in a so-much-better place!

-i hate it that i have to be away from you..

-i hate the way you told me you'd be there for me then now that i'm clinging to you for help, you simply vanished..

-i hate the way you wouldn't take a hint..

-i hate being in banaag.. if only i didn't love theater, i would have quit already..

-i hate.. period.

**i'm crying right now.. i'm mad.. real mad..**

but despite all those hates, i'm thankful for:

-God.. even if today didn't go well, there were still some things worth treasuring..

-sheena, for the YM conversation which was due to your being loadless. i love you, sheena..

-lap, for telling me that you miss me (mind you, i was breaking down in tears that time).. i really needed that.. thanks, sobra.. i love you, lap!

-kuya macky, for the update.. i hope to see you soon.. i love you..

-ate joy, for being there..

-ilsa, for another update yet again!

-jow, for hearing me out and understanding what i'm going through

-ate phoebe, for the support..

-ate binky, for the tag that really meant a lot

-b.a.. the best ka talaga.. thanks for cheering me up..

i could go on for hours..

i love the freaks
i love cinco
i love spcp 7'03
i love footloose people

you get the picture..

thanks to those who messaged me.. i really did need reassurance.. and yeah, i still need someone to talk to..

again, today ain't exactly the day i'm looking for.. though i think this is somehow the reversal of yesterday's events..

instead of happy to sad, it was the other way around..

the start of the day was horrible! remember the thing i mentioned about the class violations? they gave out the violation slips today.. it was so ironic! tippy, cala and i are seated together and we kind of produce noise.. then i was charged for 11 noise pollution cases while cala and tippy were given a bit more than 5 i think.. the 3 of us lang naman are the ones making noise all at the same time.. 11 counts? heck, how on earth could that happen? i don't friggin make noise with myself lang!

see how bias works in miriam? sabi sa inyo eh,, you won't want to set foot in there..

anyways, i was also charged for fixing hair in class (mind you, i fix my hair when there's no teacher.. i only put lip gloss in class..) and passing notes (passing notes? where's your evidence?)..

this is foolish.. they give out those stuff without sufficient evidence.. charging you for passing notes without the note itself? the date it happened? the time it happened? fixing your hair without getting your brush? what could they show to the public eye? if they were defending their case in court, they'd lose agad due to lack of evidence!

so there, i was charged 65 bucks even if i paid 200 already last week.. what the heck? so of course i asked whatever happened to it.. then she cried ba naman? fuck,, gathering sympathy through tears? SOOOOOO NOT WORKING!! your acting was horrible.. i could do sooooo much better than that!

then i ended up in an argument.. being the debater i've always wanted to be (though i love acting more),, i was defending myself of course,, as well as those who were charged without evidence and reason..

again, using crocodile tears to gather sympathy is SOOOOO NOT WORKING! i told you, it's crap! you didn't even try it out to see if it works or not! it's as if you went to war without training.. performing a musical play in a big theater without a single rehearsal.. crap, i tell you..

anyways, as the day progressed, i felt a lot lighter.. i already said what i needed to say.. and it's so much better than keeping everything inside..

thanks, Lord cuz:
-the afternoon was a lot better than the morning
-i have freaks to stand beside me
-lap is in YM with me again,, telling me that the paulinians miss me
-poj hugged me when i got home (little brothers are so sweet!)
-i'm a freak
-you gave me the gift of expressing myself well, may it be in writing or orally
-i'm alive

i'm serious,, i do feel lighter! i mean, whoa! self-expression is really therapeutic.. accompany it with tantrums, mood-swings, and screaming at the top of your lungs..

i need someone to talk to..

i was in YM with b.a a few minutes ago..

and for the first time, i told him "grabe, mas masaya pala maki-ride on sa ka-cornihan mo kaysa magsabi ng isang malaking WEEEEEEH sa bawat corny hirit.."

sabi nya, "panu naman nasasakyan ang corn?"

because of that, we started dreaming..

sasakyan yung corn, tapos mapipisa yung corn,, tapos magbabayad yung sumakay.. parang taxi!

tapos yayaman tayo kasi madaming gusto sumakay sa corn! magakakaroon na tayo ng malaking corn empire.. tapos may building na!

lahat ng tao, magwwork sa atin.. we won't have to work anymore..

yayaman tayo, tapos magkakaroon ng mga freakhouse.. mansions para sa mga freaks lang.. tapos mapapadala na natin c sheena pabalik ng manila! si kuya franco and ate kyla, hindi na magiging busy sa araw ng freak gimmick! c kuya macky, hindi na magiging corporate,, si ate joy, hindi na magpupuyat..

tama! hindi mali!

sa freakhouse naman, papanoorin yung vcd araw2.. si teacher chari, magluluto ng paella.. si daddy franz,, dun na lang ang gig instead of astoria.. si kuya macky chka si b.a, magpplay ng guitar.. lahat, dapat kumakanta.. lahat, nagliliwaliw.. kami ni b.a at ni ate joy, mag-llovelife talk!

lahat ng yan, nagsimula sa CORN!

libreng mangarap.. pero it hurts to know that it'd never happen..

i miss the freaks

commercial muna!

b.a and hase: thanks for leaving comments frequently! sobra! and thanks for helping me out when i'm in need and falling already.. i owe you a lot.. thanks, really..

i actually liked my last entry.. hehe,, like b.a said,, "kahit hindi kinakain yung pangarap, masarap pa rin!" tama sha.. kahit mejo joketime joketime yung comment,, kung pag-isipan mo ng mabuti,, may meaning nga sha.. diba?

real thing na:

never will i retract my statements -- never! as in,, uhh,, never! (i dunno the tagalog word for "NEVER" eh..)

i know the ranting i did last monday night was really super over ranting.. i may have gone a bit overboard, but i said what i felt i needed to say.. even if i did that, i feel no need for me to eat my words or anything..

chka, whoever told whoever that i wrote "i hate banaag" in here is certainly not in the right mind.. so,, i know you know that this means YOU.. know what, you shouldn't have reacted that way.. i gave a warning na naman, diba? i said "bato bato sa langit, ang tamaan, malas!" kaya wala kang reason para ma-piss off at mag-react ng ganyan..

anyways, i think i feel lighter now.. not literally of course cuz i'm still in the middle of dieting.. i feel lighter in a sense that my burdens are being unloaded.. forgive me for not making sense..

tomorrow will be a new day.. and i don't know what it holds.. will things change? will i be more torn? holy camote.. i dunno..

basta.. thanks, laura, jow, navs.. it meant a lot.. sobra.. thanks..

kanina i told myself, am i really in love already? then i thought,, hay, infatuation lang siguro toh..

oh! and for the record! i've been crying everyday since january 9, 2003.. with all of them having different reasons.. achievement? i guess not.. ate joy, i remember what you told me.. i've been telling myself that since the day you told me that crying should not be habitual.. kaso lang, something worth my tears happened today eh! and i really can't help it!

"tomorrow we will play a new sight.. we could all use some rest.."

school was unlike school today. wala lang.. for the first time, it involved opinions.. weird, huh?

we discussed class issues during computer time.. then wala lang.. let's not get into that.. cuz,, you know naman how people think.. they say i should be cautious with my words,, with the way i write.. and i'm like, "what? this is the only territory i have all to my own!!!" (to quote "private conversation" lyrics.. hay,, i remember ate caisa and kuya macky!) i mean, sure, it's not a secret place i know where nobody else can go (so, freaks, isn't it obvious that i miss you all so much!?) but still,, it's mine! just want to clear it out.. kasi, i don't want to limit my self expression or else i'd feel that i'm oppressing myself which is not good..

then the long test in math wasn't like any other long test.. for the first time, i felt that math is going easy on me.. still, i don't expect high grades though cuz i NEVER studied at home.. naghhomework lang ako.. but,, study during leisure time? BLEEEEEECH!

oh! then during dismissal time, banaag had a --- guess what?! an open forum too!

i feel quite light, but still, i don't feel right..

hay, life isn't life without the freaks.. they're my family.. i want to have them forever..

speaking of the freaks, during the banaag open forum, i was like "i think that's what makes me a freak.." then continued my statement.. then someone said, "aw, come on! you're not a freak!"... na-hurt ako ah! hehe.. pero forgivable naman.. they dunno the real definition of "freak.."

oh! and to my sister (why on earth do we communicate online? you're here at home with me, you drive me to school, pick me up in the afternoon, and practically live with me..): wala na tayong magagawa.. hindi na puede mag-move back ng 3d yr, diba? sayang, kaso lang,, siguro it's what God wants.. kawawa naman ako.. walang air con, walang t.v, walang comp, walang sliding window (na masayang akyatin kapag locked ang classroom!), walang terms tulad ng "silay" at "write back" at kung anu-ano pa.. ayun, walang air con, t.v, at comp sa classroom.. tapos walang air con, t.v. at comp sa classroom,, chka walang air con, t.v at comp sa classroom,, at walang CINCO.. grabe ate,, ang swerte mo.. hay,, memories..

ui! commercial lang! hehe,, cuz diba nga, i've been crying everyday since january 9, 2003,, hehe,, so i counted how many days it's been.. and today's my 550th day!

uhm, i've really been wanting to post thought-provoking entries.. but, what's happening?!

i mean, what's happening to me? oh no! transformation should take place! (hi sister vee! hehehe.. oi,, best friend yan ni abletz!).. i have to think and be philosophical.. cuz life is suuuuuper boring if there are no questions in your head.. if there are no thoughts to reflect and ponder on.. if there are no ifs and buts.. if there are no what ifs and how comes..

but the most depressing fact is, life is suuuuuuper boring if you're not a freak.. do the freaks agree with me?!

oh! before i forget! ate kyla! the sideshow directory ah! thanks so much! hope you and kuya franco would make it to the fabled freakparty!

finally! i'm online!

today was quite horrible!

i went to school with a cleared and light heart.. i mean, who wouldn't feel that after letting out emotions the day before? with the banaag open forum,, i guess i was able to make myself clear just like they did..

social studies and math were suuuuper boring! they were the first 2 periods and well, i was mega sleepy that time! i slept last night kasi at like 1am then i woke up at 5,, so well,, i didn't get enough sleep.. (just like what's about to happen tonight!).. so during social studies,, i was containing myself pa.. then during math time, i was crying na.. hehe,, i was super sleepy eh!

i was craving for red bull or extra joss after math time (ah, freak memories!) but then they didn't have naman in the caf of course,, so i got coffee instead.. it helped,, a little..

we worked on the dramatic monologue during english class.. i cried again.. i cried cuz of what i wrote..

hmmm.. next was c.l class.. i didn't have time to cry.. though i had lots of time to sleep! and so i made use of it..

lunch was plain crap..

bio was quite stressful.. i had this major case of dizziness.. ms delfin noticed that i was super pale and asked me if i was okay.. of course, cuz i'm stupid, (plus, i needed to finish the seatwork) i said i'm fine..

after bio, i cried cuz i was dizzy..

music class has got to be the worst one i've got.. talk about major boredom! buti nalang i'm seated at the back row with tippy and dandan.. we were making fools out of ourselves.. tippy would raise her hand then i'd pretend to faint.. haha,, labo.. after that, i reached for my kikay kit and looked at my face through my mirror,, then got rid of the oil on my face through the gatsby oil film,, then finished off with my born lippy lip gloss (the strawberry-flavored one which smells so heavenly!).. my classmates asked me to sing but i didn't cuz my desk was flooded with my mirror, lip gloss (born lippy and lipsmackers!), tissue, oil film, powder, and my brush.. had i been asked to stand up, i'd reveal a mini-parlor.. hehehe.. so instead of me singing,, jinky did it..

dismissal time meant the open forum of banaag with the march and june members.. it was quite chaotic! but before the forum began, reg and i were asked to meet up with sir f to ask him something.. darn! it was raining so hard! i brought my umbrella with me but it was no use cuz the moment reg and i got out, it was flooding na! eeeeewwwwwwwwwww... we came back with overly wet clothes! hehehe..

what happened in the open forum, you asked? well, let's just say, things aren't okay yet..

after the forum, some of us watched TELON at the college theater.. it was nice, actually.. kaso lang, some mishaps were too noticeable.. they didn't back up with quick fixes.. oh well.. i was supposed to be picked up at 6pm but then my mom heard that it was over major traffic daw in katipunan.. kaya she told me to watch the play and wait for my sister since we're both ending at 9..

gosh, i never thought katipunan would get flooded like that! i mean, knee-deep water in ateneo? and i'm sure all those who passed by the libis-bound road had their own share of long trips.. sabi nila, 5 hours daw on the way home kanina..

kaso lang, 9:30 na, wala pa rin my sister dearest! so i hopped into the car at 10pm..

and here i am now, crying cuz i have to wake up early pa tomorrow, then finish all my tasks like the c.l portfolio, the bio journal and the math crap..

i'll blog when i'm done.. hay, i might not go to sleep again!

i slept at 2am the other night.. i was supposed to stay up but then i ended dead tired cuz of the wild traffic in katipunan..

so i went to bed at 2am, then i woke up at 6.. why? there's banaag rehearsal at 8am! i became quite cranky but then i remembered that there was this debate of some kind to be held at mc.. and bea and ilsa would be there! i wanted to see them both so badly..

*it's 2:17 a.m of july 25, 2004. i just finished my c.l project! thanks, Lord!*

i arrived in mc at 9am sharp.. i looked for achay but she was nowhere to be found.. i called her up and stuff.. eventually, we found each other na.. i gave her a super tight hug that i haven't experienced in years! gawd, i missed her so much..

then i went in the hall and found ilsa! she was wearing her trademark skirt and shoes! hehe,, the one she wore in sideshow.. the party scene.. at first she was so busy and occupied and stuff.. but then i called her and when she turned around, she gave me the tightest hug (and could qualify for the longest one too!).. i love getting hugs from freaks and paulinians.. they make me feel so secure..

and this is freaky but true! i was wearing my red top in school today.. a red top, my tommy pants, my cute blue and pink socks and my roxy slippers.. hehe,, then, when i met up na with ilsa, achay told me that all the paulinian debaters were asked to wear red.. for easy identification.. ang galing! i was wearing a red top! sabi ni achay, paulinian daw talaga ko forever.. kahit at heart lang.. which is true.. i mean, of all the colors of the rainbow, God made me wear red only to see the paulinians wearing red too! wala lang.. thanks, Lord!

achay said my presence meant her encouragement.. i say her presence meant comfort for me.. sayang i didn't get to watch the debates though.. ayun, so before they began, they studied again.. (plus i had to go back to the rehearsal room cuz they might be looking for me already! i made takas lang eh!) we said our goodbyes and well, gave some hugs again, and went separate ways.. oh! and camille martinez and katrina lucas were there too! hehe.. and before i said goodbye, i told achay and ilsa "basta,, no matter what happens, don't ever let them win! never! as in never!" and i prayed that God would let them bring pride to St. Paul Pasig.. hehehe..

ayun, so rehearsals, we did NOTHING! the cast was suuuuper incomplete! and well,, some were emotionally discharged.. so due to psychological incapacities, we just bonded and had lunch in mcdo katips.. (where else?!) then after mcdo, i went to national to buy some paper for the c.l portfolio.. i bought a book also! i wanted to buy a lot of books kaso lang i only had a thousand bucks left.. hehe! i'm broke!

tito picked me up in starbucks (i wanted to go to beauty bar, but i realized my kikay kit is still overflowing.. sayang!).. then we went home na.. i've been doing the c.l portfolio since i got home (3pm) and i'm now done with it! after 11 hours!

oh! i had quite a great YM session with the freaks.. there was gab, b.a, sheena, and kuya macky! we talked about how much we miss the freaks already, and the freak video! kuya macky cried daw when he got to watch it.. so if kuya macky cried, panu pa kaya all the young 'uns!? siguro when i get to watch that, i'd be red as a tomato, crying my eyes out on how great the show was! onga pala,, freaks! FREAKPARTY ON THE 14TH!! BE THERE OR BE LESS FREAKY BY THE NANOSECOND!

daya!! ate binky told me kanina (i think it was still 9 or 10pm then) that ate caisa, ate kyla and kuya franco hoarded kuya macky's place to watch the sideshow video! DAYA!! I WANT ALSO!! daya! daya! ate binky said she got invited but then,, she's procrastinating (like me!) kaya she didn't get to watch it agad!

then at 12 sharp, ate binky saw my YM status (i'm crying out of stress again.. i'm such a whiner!) and told me that i can do it! thanks, ate binky! i needed that! and it's good to know that there'd never be a moment when a freak wouldn't be online.. i being one of the most frequent ones!

and to meily,, thanks also! even if you turned in early!

i feel the coffee taking effect now.. i'm shaking already eh.. out of tension..

thanks, Lord! You're the best! thanks for letting me see achay and ilsa plus the "red incident"... and Lord, thanks for the freaks, who keep me smiling,, i miss their hugs, Lord! may the freakparty push through.. thanks again!

achay, i miss you! i know you did your best.. diba? remember what i told you!
ilsa, thanks for the tight hug! and congrats for winning 2d place!

i guess that's pretty much my day! quite long, but satisfying..

it's school week again starting tomorrow.. gosh, i'm soooo tamad to go to school na! really! i mean, hello?? 5 days a week? it's crap.. grarr..

i went to my dad's place today.. but this time, poj went with us.. i dunno what came to him! weird..

oh! we bought a 7610!! hehe,, the pix are soooo amazing! lalo na kpg night shot! sobra! hands down!

ayun,, buti na lang i was asleep na at 5am this morning.. i woke up at 12.. yipee! i got to sleep! i mean, 7 hours was soooo long! i feel quite happy for myself!

hayyy.. i'm tired of school.. my sister and i said that we need a 1-week break at the least.. hello? we all had a rough time last friday! with the katipunan flood and all.. then the weekend produced a lot of heavy rains.. then sona pa tomorrow! and i live in filinvest II which is at the back of the congress area and we have to pass by that area to get home.. malamang GMA would be in the vicinity.. eh 3:20 yung dismissal time tmrw.. and around that time din the sona.. so,, good luck nalang on my way home! here we go again with traffic cuz of the different protests and all.. grarrr...

wala lang.. hehe,, just made kwento to someone about friggin bastards invading the world.. argh.. wala lang.. sobrang kainis tlga!

hay! what a sight! hahaha! my brother came out of his room wearing shorts! hahaha! i wanna squeeze his tummy! it's soooo big!

gosh,

nweiz,, the week was okay.. i mean,, i'm thankful for quite a lot..

diba? so, i thank God for:
- letting me see and hug ilsa and bea yesterday
- the banaag and the ii-6 open forum
- the banaag open forum part 2
- being able to watch Telon
- the text messages i received
- the emails i got
- the school projects i finished.. (damned c.l portfolio..)
- the books i bought
- being able to find my copy of "the breakup diaries" (got lost on wed) with the Il Divino ticket as a bookmark..
- my friends
- the freaks in the ym conference yesterday
- the freaks who messaged me to ask if i was okay
- the freaks who cheered me up
- dami pa eh..

pero,, grabe! i wana watch the sideshow video na asap!! thanks, kuya macky, for the copy ur gonna give me!!

nweiz,, i'm off to doing homework now.. the ones written on paper.. hehehe.. night night! sleep tight! pray for heavy rains and katipunan flood para there's no school! (though i pray that no one would get hurt if ever that happens)

i woke up a few minutes ago and well,, things couldn't get any worse.. i'm sneezing and sneezing and sneezing! and it's official.. i have the sniffles! and i'm beginning to feel another fever coming! grarrr... i can't breathe! holy camote..

oh! oh! oh! sam concepcion (red's brother) has a new commercial! basta,, he was rapping, in tagalog! i mean, could you imagine?! hehe,, b.a and i saw it.. hehe, kaso lang, b.a told me he saw it daw in the morning.. kaya he didn't believe that it was sam! lalo na kasi nagtatagalog! hahaha,, funny!

school was so-so.. we didn't have banaag rehearsals.. we won't have this week and next week.. cuz well,, it's hell week na now then exam week na next week! argh! exam week! i hate exams! though it's nice that we have shorter school hours!

english was stressful! we had to work on the dramatic monologue.. corny nga eh cuz we're gonna present in class lang! hehehe.. but still,, i want to get a high grade on that, if not perfect..

social was suuuuper katamad! grarr.. and math? well,, math was so frustrating! i was in tears.. hehe,, na-stress cuz of lack of sleep and all the work given to us.. bwiset! i didn't like the seatwork.. and since we didn't finish,, it was turned into homework.. so i spent quite an amount of time cursing and crying (tantrums daw again).. hindi rin obvious na hate ko yung math, noh?

hmmm.. c.l naman,, we had a quiz.. i know i sucked! hehehe.. pano,, like always, he teaches something and we end up having a quiz on a different topic.. panu nalang sa exam? c.l na nga lang,, ifflunk pa? sir, magturo ka naman! uhm,, bio was fine.. kaso lang.. i got super sleepy na din (cuz i slept at 5, i think last saturday,, then i didn't sleep at sunday night..) and well,, i dunno.. it's the weather's fault maybe..

then p.e was boooooooooooooring.. we played charades.. boring, i tell you.. i loved last school year's charades! hehe,, the one about the jologs movies!

i went home with ange (thanks again for the ride!) cuz my sister's car might get caught.. hehe,, coding eh.. and that's the only car my sister has.. dapat kasi, ate,, you could use the altis kapag monday, diba? para walang hassle!

on the way home, commonwealth was blocked! kasi naman,, since it's the sona,, the people held rallies.. buti nalang the driver knew a detour.. hehe,, i didn't know that!!

speaking of the sona, paging pat asuncion and/or aika calica,, just call on me if you need reaction papers again! hehe,, just like last year! nweiz,, i liked this year's sona.. the delivery was quite convincing.. there were around 33 applauses.. last year there were 77.. then gma memorized her speech.. maybe if it were erap, he'd be reading through it.. if it were fpj, he'd act it out.. cuz well, could he read? hehe,, i'm such a meanie!

ayun,, so much for having a great day.. i hope yours went well..

oh! and before i go, i'll leave something i learned last night:
"the best part of being o.p is knowing that you have someone to be o.p with.." i got it from ate joy! hehe,, thanks!

night night everyone! i wish this cold would go away! oh! and hope you all stay healthy despite the freaky weather! hehehe.. and,, uhh,, i love the freaks!

i soooo love being a freak! being normal is boring..

**to those who ask me to stop cursing in my blog, care nyo? blog ko 'to eh..**

wala lang.. i slept for like an hour or so.. and woke up at 8:50.pm.. i dunno what's gotten into me, but i'm reeeeeeeeeeeally cranky! talk about waking up at the wrong side of the bed..

i was supposed to peacefully go online at 5pm! but NOOOOO! my sister went ahead of me and stayed online for 4 friggin hours!

i'm crying now cuz i'm really sleepy and frustrated! frustrated cuz of this being cranky thing and well, cuz of how my day went..

wanna take a peek? DON'T! take a look instead..

we had cooking for t.h.e.. and ayun, i thought the day was gonna turn out quite well.. it started well.. i think..

then at recess,, while we were going up, tricia, patchot and i saw ms rama going up.. we offered her the food we made in exchange of the cancellation of the quiz.. then, the recess bell rang..

english time came.. and once again, we worked on our dramatic monologue.. mine is quite long.. the longest, i think.. in the theme sheet writing, there were only two spaces left on the second page.. and guess what! we have to memorize the whole thing by tomorrow or else we're toast! nice going, pauline!

then came math time! forgive me if i burst.. we still had that fucking downright crappy quiz! it wasn't announced yesterday! they said they announced it daw?! HELLO?!?!? earth to neanderthals! they announced it through text and YM on tuesday night! and i didn't go online on tuesday night cuz the computer experienced its blues and nobody gave me that damned text message stating that there's a math quiz! and what? 1/3 of the class knew that there was a math quiz the following day so that 1/3 was able to study!?! how on earth do you expect the other 2/3 to pass?

once again, i'm a victim of injustice.. kaninong fault? well,, bato-bato sa langit, ang tamaan, malas! ang selfish nyo! ndi nyo man lang inintindi yung iba? then you expect progress? the hell!

i cried during math time cuz well, i really wasn't prepared for the blood-boiling quiz.. plus i was sleepy, plus i was tired, plus i felt really bad.. i know crying is such a bratty act,, but in my case, i'd just let me be a brat.. i really want to scream and cry right now,, but there isn't enough energy for me to scream..

i exited the classroom at lunch time with quite a cross face.. we had a club thing pa naman.. so, wala lang.. i felt so off.. who wouldn't be, after all that happened?

filipino time was quite harmful too! we recorded our quiz scores, and guess what!! mine were so low! i think i'm flunking filipino.. pano,, the quizzes are mostly essays.. and our teacher wants exactly her words on our papers.. and my filipino writing is really horrible.. what can she do? writing in tagalog is really hard! what does she want to happen?

hmmm.. club time, finally, the day was about to end.. buti na lang, nothing wrong came up..

pero what really frustrates me are the requirements for bio.. we were given homework kanina (even if there wasn't bio kanina!) and it's to be submitted on friday.. then tomorrow naman, the lab activity, with a lab report to be submitted on friday.. homework and a lab report to be submitted on the day of the bio long test! so, isa na lang ba subject sa school?

then pag-online ko naman, sa YM, my status went, "blogging.. i mean, come on! you really think i could entertain you? think again.." then a lot of people sent me messages and kept on buzzing me.. so ayun, i cried even harder..

i know a lot of you are going through tough times too,, some may even go through worse times than mine.. this is my share..

good night? sana nga, maging "good".... sobrang sana lang.. i want to stop crying.. i want to stop being stressed..

tag replies muna:

inna: thanks for the offer! i know i'll use it up soon! hee! thanks so much! i miss our long phone conversations! and i miss you!

b.a: you weren't the one i was making parinig.. hehe,, you know that freaks are the best medicine for me! don't doubt when i say that even if i was a total brat last night, you made me smile pa rin.. corny mo kasi eh! at dahil freak ka, mas naging okay yung smile ko!

hase: thanks for the offer too! hee! it means a lot!

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BLOGGING TIME!

hay! today was quite tiring, but it had its ups.. buti na lang!

i reread my entry last night, and i must say, i'm an official brat! hehe,, following my sister's footsteps?! kidding! hehehe.. well, i think all my stress went out after that..

uhm, oh! meily and tippy and i have this obsession for a certain thing.. haha! go figure! nope! i'll never reveal it here! and to those who know, DON'T TELL! YOU TELL,, YOU DIE!!

aie! i have a new message alert tone! so funny,, haha!

hmmm.. oh! oh! computer class was sooooo boring! as in MAJOR BORING!! tippy, era, kim and i spent time squirming.. haha! ang gross kasi tlga, promise!

then math class, i remained brain dead.. it was soooo katamad! so i spent my time reading a book while fixing my to-do list.. i realized that i haven't done my c.l homework yet! i don't understand what we're supposed to do eh.. hay,, sana nobody did it.. and sana nobody will do it tomorrow..

hmmm.. bio lab was quite a light load.. i mean, yeah, our group will do the post-lab discussion, but then at least we submitted na the lab report in class kanina.. less stress for me! so all i have to work on is the h.w and study (yeah right!) for the long test.. hay! i can breathe again! well, maybe a little..

oh my gosh! english was quite fun but stressful! they already picked out the ones who are gonna do the dramatic monologue tomorrow.. and guess what! i'm twelfth in line! hay! they'd better deliver long monologues or else i'm toast! i mean, i'll memorize a poem (which i wrote) with 53 lines! (will i post it here? parang nakakahiya eh!) hehe,, i finished writing last tuesday, and i regret that i wrote that long of a poem.. oh well.. going back, english was stressful cuz we were given the whole period to memorize our poems and practice (yeah right..)..

it's been like 5 minutes or so after english time started.. then while i was starting to finally concentrate, ms. reyes called my name and sat on a chair near me.. jinky and tricia were there too.. she made kwento.. at first, she was giving jinky some tips on how to cry while delivering her monologue.. then she made kwento some more, and told us how she cries and stuff.. then she was like, "oh pauline, you're gonna deliver your piece na tomorrow, diba? (i nodded) til what part have you memorized? (i showed her) aie nako! go! memorize na!" then after a split second, she made kwento again.. so we ended english period with a hanging kwento from her and a dramatic monologue to memorize! twas quite funny! hehe..

about the monologue,, i'm not sure but i think i'm nervous.. i mean, hello? classroom lang yun! it's nothing like music museum.. kaso lang, i hate performing when the people know me eh.. chka, it's equivalent to a long test! wala lang! but as of now, i'm not really THAT nervous yet.. i'm even thinking of turning back and taking off my top in the end.. but being a highschooler in a catholic school, i don't think that's gonna work.. hehe.. i'm really having shivers down my spine.. pero no nosebleeding so far.. kaya,, i'm still calm.. hehehe..

nweiz,, gotta scram! i got 53 lines to memorize! and i have to think of a gimmick for the ending!

i love you, freaks!

today was a mix of boring, funny, frustrating, and all that jazz..

i woke up feeling bad about myself cuz it's morning once more and i have to go to school again and stuff.. daya, poj didn't have school.. hmph.. oh well.. then before i got up, i suddenly remembered something.. it's my dramatic monologue thing today! so i rushed to the bathroom and did my morning ritual..

my morning ritual is quite funny.. wake up, go to the bathroom, and explode when the water touches me.. then shampoo and soap and conditioner and facial wash and all that jazz while singing my lungs out in the hopes of making my vocal chords (if i do have!) alive at the start of the day.. let's skip that part now and stop embarrassing myself!

i left home at like 6:20 na.. hehe.. ayun.. then i reached school at 7:05, i think?! wala lang..

i was so tense the whole morning! i mean, whoa! it's dramatic monologue day, plus the c.l quiz, plus the bio long test.. nice one!

i spent social studies and math time memorizing my poem.. then recess, i bought 2 bottles of water.. i dunno.. i felt the need? hehe,, i dunno..

the bell rang! shox! english time! so i ran back to my room trembling.. funny how i got all shaky before performing in such a small venue, with a few people.. haha! i'm so weird!

then kaye came in first.. she was great! i mean, for such a soft-spoken person (well actually, soft-spoken is an overstatement.. hindi sha tlga nagsasalita!), she did well.. the next one i remembered well was cala's performance.. sobrang, whoa, the emotional build-up! hehe,, it was surely a tough act to follow.. hmmm.. who else,, oh! era! hahaha! hers naman was so funny! her line "living life the era way" got stuck in my head! haha! wala lang.. ayun..

my assessment of myself? i sucked! hehe.. i know i did.. wala lang.. hehe.. i caught up with voice projection though.. kaso lang, i exceeded 5 minutes! grarrr!!! nako baka may deductions! oh no! nooooooo! wala lang.. shox.. why am i getting grade-conscious?

ayun, we finished all 15 speakers kanina.. then after english, our teacher tapped my arm to signal that she wanted to talk to me.. ayun.. let's just say that the conversation isn't meant for public display!? hehehe..

uhm.. ayun,, then c.l was a pain in the neck! nuff said!

bio was,, well,, STRESSFUL! we had a long test and i don't think i fared well.. hmph..

before music, english long test results were given out! grarrr! i only got 54.5/65! hmph! 10.5 mistakes?! hay, i hate myself!

music was downright booooring! haha! nancy and i made fun of the reporting thing.. wala lang.. ang boring, promise!

then i got picked up quite early! whoa! for a change! hahaha,, wala lang..

got home at 4pm! now THAT'S early! then i listened to the c.d that lenel made (she's my clasm8 in ii-6).. hehe,, she sings so well! hay, gifted people nga naman.. *cry*

nweiz, hay, the exams are next week na! nako! i might not be able to be online for quite a while..

oh! kuya macky txtd! he gave a workshop to kids daw and he taught them new york lemonade! awww.. i miss that game! and the ones i played it with!

patatasFREAKas! (as b.a. would put it..) the school week is finally done! thanks a lot, Lord!