a mind is very private..

i didn't go online yesterday!! arrrrrgh!! kc naman,, my sister's sooooooooooooooooo tagal online.. she was connected til around 3am yesterday, and i couldn't wait for her na!! arggh!! such a pain in the ass!

nweiz,, we did music rehearsals in playshop yesterday.. teacher chari wasn't there.. so teacher rony filled in since he's the pianist.. then teacher ring was so funny yesterday!! hehehe,, we had fun! then franz was startled with the lines "come inside, curiosity satisfied!" pero well,, that's what i thought of too! ts just different when he says it cuz everyone would just laugh and squirm! hehehe,, funny!

ayun,, whoa,, kyla and caisa and jen's voice were sooo high!! hehe,, we almost melted!! (what the?!) well,, point being,, their voices are so high!

hmmm...what else... uhh,, oh yeah!! to guada,,, hope u read this,, uhh,,sige go!! ok sakin yan!! dalahin mo lang lagi guitar mo!! para fun!

anu pa.. hmm.. un na!

gotta scram!

good morning, everyone!

narito ako,, sa harap ng mumunting monitor,, kumakain ng chupa chups lollipop.. cola flavor..

sabi ng tito ko,, si john osmena (yung pinasasalamatan sa t.v dahil sa text) lagi daw may baon na magic flakes sa senado.. hindi ito biro! tapos yung isang pirasong cracker na sumusukat sa humigit kumulang ay 2 inches and lapad and 3 inches ang haba,, ay nasusubo ng nasabing senador sa iisang lamunan lamang.. sabi ng tito ko,, magaling daw na senador yun.. sanay na sanay kumain.. (hep hep! censored na!)

ayos!! ang galing nya nga!!

binabati ko ang mga kaibigan ko.. at dahil nabasa ko sa blog ni schizophrenic at napanood ko sa telebisyon na mag-aartista si eddie gil,, sana maging classmate ko sha sa workshop..

hmmm.. kakatapos lang ng whacked.. ayun,, i dunno y i'm aburido.. my sister said "aburido" is another word for "irritable" but it has a more negative connotation..

arrrgh!! poj's here!! he wants to hoard the comp again!! pffft..

i'm playing badminton in a while..

ANG INIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

then wala lang.. a weird thing on friendster.. nakakainis cuz people would like,, post stuff in the bboard,, telling everyone to add their 2d account.. like,, wtf? hello?? no use!! nakakainis..

then the others naman,, may nkta ko n msg,, it went "hey,, i'm deleting this acct na... i wanna have an acct for my real friends.." i'm like,, wtf? ur so dumb!! kaya nga friendster eh,, u dont add those who u don't know for the sake of having friends!! stupid idea..

tapos my mom bought stuff for school na!! i'm like,, hello? rehearsals pa lang!! don't be too excited!! we have a month to go.. but well,, i dunno when the enrolment was.. all i know is,, SCHOOL SUCKS!! I HATE THE PEOPLE,, I HATE THE TEACHERS,, I HATE EVERYTHING THAT HAS TO DO WITH THAT F*CKING SCHOOL!! PLEASE!! I WANT TO GET OUT OF THAT F*CKED OUT PLACE! i hate school.. especially the one i'm in now.. so much for bad decisions.. look at where i am now!! i'm lost! and it's all my fault..

ayan na naman ako,, getting all sentimental about the school thing.. wala na kong magagawa eh.. it's all over.. i'm done for..

sabi s inyo aburido ako eh..

1. NAME: pretty pauline

2. DO YOU THINK YOU'RE NORMAL: of course not.. i'm unique in my own way so deal with it..

3. DO PEOPLE FIND YOU STRANGE: of course yes! i think.. wala lang.. i've been really quiet lately..

4. DO YOU BELIEVE IN GOD: i think so..

5. DO YOU SIN A LOT: of course yes..

6. DO YOU BACKSTAB: only the members of ****** and the ******** and HORSE.. but never ever ever my friends..

7. ARE YOU A GOOD FRIEND: i don't know.. up to you to decide..

8. ARE YOU IN LOVE: hell no..

9. ARE YOU YOUNG: i think so.. being 15 and all..

10.EVER BEEN A LEADER OF SOMETHING: uhh,, does 7th grade drama fest count?

11.EVER KILLED A LIVING CREATURE: bugs? but never ever ever the big ones!!

12.LAST ODD THING DONE: bashed.. look at my previous entry for the 411..

13.DO YOU WEAR MAKE-UP: only during shows..

15.EVER STARTED A FIRE: almost! yikes!

16.DO YOU THINK YOU'RE EVIL: oh yeah!

17.DO YOU LIKE LYING: well,, in front of school teachers.. i just despise them!

18.DO YOU REGRET: yeah.. i regret that i moved to a diff school for h.s.. really..

20.DO PEOPLE HATE YOU: i think so.. oh wait! i KNOW so..

21.DO YOU HATE PEOPLE: i hate horse and ****** and ********..

22.CAN YOU KILL SOMEBODY: i think not..

23.DO YOU CUT YOURSELF: i used to..

24.EVER TASTED BLOOD: almost everyday when i get a nosebleed..

25.DO YOU CARE WHAT OTHERS MAY THINK OF
YOU?: of course not! wtf?

26.EVER DONE ANYTHING OCCULT: i believe so.. hey,, my clasm8s in gr4.. remember anything? hehehe..

27.ARE YOU GOTHIC: i think not..

28.DO YOU SMOKE: i stopped.. learned my lesson na..

29.CONSUME DRUGS: whatever!

30.WHAT DO YOU WEAR: rehearsal clothes most of the time..

31.YOUR SKIN COLOR: i'm a bit dark now.. but i'm kinda pale.. damned blood loss!

32.DO YOU LIKE THE SUN: yes! it's my only way to get a normal skin color!

33.HAVE YOU LOST SOMEONE YOU LOVE: relatives, yes.. just a month ago..

34.HOW DOES GRIEF FEEL: of course it's painful..

35.YOUR ROLE MODEL: j.lo and teacher chari.. and my clasm8s in playshop mtg..

36.YOUR HEART DESIRES TO BE WITH WHOM: cinco.. and sila pat, etc.. basically my spcp batchmates..

37.YOUR LISTENING TO: mp3s..

38.DO YOU HATE YOURSELF: i do get those moments most of the time..

39.DID THIS QUIZ MAKE SENSE: maybe.. maybe not..

40.PARTING WORDS: i love being myself.. so deal with it.. and to the people i hate,, back off!

ayun,, i played badminton for 3-5p.m.. it's tiring.. oh,, and i can smash now!! yihee,, achievement! fun fun fun!

i just downloaded songs from "the cheetah girls" ..ya know,, the movie with raven symone.. basta ayun,, theyre so nice! and the movie's so great! sana i-replay na ng disney..

uhh,, what else.. hmmm.. i got to watch "whacked" kanina.. and man,, i think alexa's taller than me now!! gosh,, last year she looks soooooooooo young and now she looks her age na!! hehehe..

ayun,, we had dinner in tomas morato kanina.. then after dinner we went to starbucks in abscbn for coffee (like,, what else?!).. i had an iced caffe mocha and it was kinda strong.. i ended up finishing their pitcher of non-fat milk..

on the way home,, i heard we might buy a new house.. pero in the same village.. we looked at the house na.. it's nice.. it's a lot bigger than this house.. then we might get a hectare of land somwhere in cavite.. it's a coffee farm.. fun fun fun!! tamang tama for a coffee addict like me..

speaking of coffee,, how come most people gather up thoughts over a cup of coffee? i mean,, why not water? or juice? or whatever?! like,, go to a coffee shop and you'll see people either in laptops or just pen and paper.. then also in a coffee shop,, a lot of meaningful conversation goes on.. weird..

oh!! i'm using the comp now here in the living room! we finally let the old monitor retire.. it was super blurry na kasi eh!! kaya yesterday we bought a new one.. it's clear now!! and before turning it on,, there's a ritual for the monitor to stay clear.. wala lang!! hehehe,, parang incantation sa charmed.. you know naman odd minds like mine! kasi naman,, nakakatamad gamitin yung comp na 'to before eh.. kasi nga overly blurry!! kala ko nga before my eyes were damaged na eh.. yung monitor lang pala..

ayun,, i'm sleepy.. but i can't sleep..

monday na!! again,, macky's texting the whloe mtg.. he invited us to lunch sa shang cuz he'll be there at 12:30 tomorrow.. and he wants to hang out.. like always.. wow!! bonding!

good night everyone.. gotta get me some rest.. there's class pa tomorrow!

hmmm.. went to playshop today and i forgot my script!! hehehe,, i was in a hurry kasi eh.. good thing teacher chari didn't notice!

oh well,, we got a planned sked na.. but it doesn't look as hectic compared to the footloose sked b4.. but i guess it'd be like that din.. considering the surprises in store for the audience..

we had a great warm-up kanina!! the mound,, then we did the pass the thing.. yung up-down like what we do with the balloons in kidie parties.. but we did it with erasers and our eyes were closed.. when we opened our eyes,, our bodies were black na!! the erasers were filled with whiteboard ink pala!! hehehe.. arrrgh!

after that,, we read our scripts.. twas fun!! hehehe,, oh and new rule!! for every naughty hirit coming from franz,, teacher chari will scold franco!! hehehe.. fun fun fun!!

enough about that.. here's the deal..

what: "SIDE SHOW"
cast: trumpets playshop's musical theater teens advanced 2004..
director: the ever-gorgeous teacher chari arespacochaga
asst director: the next-to-gorgeous teacher ring!
musical director: the music genius who claims to be rony fortich
when: june 5, 2004, it's a saturday!! you guys have no excuse! 5p.m.
where: music museum

hope to see you there!! oh!! and line up early!! just like last year,, we expect the music museum to be jampacked!!

you are also invited to watch the other performances in the playshop festival during that week!

invite your friends to join you too! it's gonna be a blast! you'll surely have the time of ur life!

hmmm.. today.. wala lang! twas ok naman.. i talked with aika on the phone.. then i talked to inna for like 3 hours.. oh man, i miss talking to her endlessly! hehehe,,

with aika i talked about the upcoming show,, (show info in my previous post) and then we talked about watching dora the explorer cuz there was absolutely nothing else to watch.. but then she found this video of the movie "jologs" and decided to watch it with tonie.. ayun,, then we talked about stuff.. hmm.. wait.. that ain't a good way to end it.. basta we talked.. nuff said..

then with inna,, we talked all about stuff! hehehe,, kidding.. uhh,, wala lan.. she's taking up kickboxing now.. and well,, she misses playshop.. but she's afraid of sing and dance class na..cuz well,, let's just say a teacher said something out of his "airs" which really got into her! going back,, ayun,, we reminisced on how we matured from the "fables and parables" days to the "politically korekt" moments unti she ventured on to sing and dance while i got in footloose.. and here we are now.. regretting why we haven't done theater since we were little.. y'know.. the type when you'll just walk into a room and you'd get a lead role in a major production and all that jazz..

gosh,, i'm having a hard time burning the songs in "side show"cuz this damned burner won't get it right.. i guess i just have to put the songs in my memory card so that i can listen to it in my celly.. argh,, i'd have to sacrifice.. hmmm.. or maybe i can transfer those mp3 files into my 128mb mmc,, then i'd plug the mmc in the laptop so that i can transfer the files to the laptop and burn the cd! but that seems like a long process.. oh, wtf..

nweiz,, we're learning more of the songs with teacher rony tomorrow.. and well,, ayun.. oh!! and on thursday,, we're gonna watch a play in music museum.. bonding time for the class woohoo!

fun fun fun.. hehehe..

im outie..

goodnight everyone!

man,, i just realized how hard the songs in side show are.. whoa!! yikes! hehehe,,

we did music rehearsals today.. man,, kyla and joy were sooooo great!! *bow down*

grabe!! i'm having a terrible l.s.s. sa side show songs!! man!! arrrgh!! hehehe.. right now i'm singin "come look at the freaks" and i'm sooooooo idiotic cuz i can't get it outta my head!!

...come inside.. curiosity satisfied...

nweiz,, after class a bunch of us hung out at starbucks.. macky wasn't there though.. and well,, most of us were wearing red!! hehehe,, coincidentally,, macky was in red,, and so were b.a.,, michelle,, erika,, nikki,, yours truly,, and i dunno who else! wala lang!! going back,, we were with shamir (my clasm8 in playshop 2001) too cuz we met her inside starbucks n din.. then in the other table,, monica was there (playshop 2001 too!) and ayun.. after a while ate joy,, aie mali!! joy came in and we bonded! she was all flattered cuz we told her she doesn't look her age.. well,, it's true! ayun,, and we talked about eddie gil's damned ambition.. and we bonded some more.. we talked practically about anything and everything! super fun! oh! and i learned that you don't find time.. you make time..

i got to read sacki's message in friendster.. and oh my,, it drove me to tears!! sacki,, surely,, i miss you so so so much already!! and i'll miss you more and more!! hope you get to be here soon!

yun,, wala lang,, i'm dizzy from all the singing we did today.. yikes!

i'm outie! be back later!

i stumbled across a number of blogs today,, on friendster,, and in the cinco forum.. and i saw the same thing in all of them.. a question for all.. all but me..

"what's your room number this coming school year?"

for all those who posted those,, i'm not exhibiting aggravation towards you.. i hope you understand..

"i want to be like everyone else.. i want what everyone wants.. the same as everyone wants.." --- well i guess that's something i'll never have..

hmm.. it's my third blog for tonight.. i guess i can't help but give an outpour of what's on my mind.. i mean, yeah,, as if someone would listen.. as if someone would read this.. read my ass.. i guess i didn't make much sense..

damn,, the election thing is nearing.. and we have classes on election day.. feeling ko maraming absent.. but i hope not.. cuz nothing compares to a complete playshop class.. ooohhh,, the bonding.. i miss the footloose cast.. but i'm loving this year's cast too! i mean,, whoa,, despite the age gap which ranges from 12-25,, i think we get along well.. we have the same passion.. the odd thing is,, our class is musical theater TEENS advanced.. and i think not even half of the class is made up of teens..

woopee!! my mom allowed me to go to macky's place for the meeting! yahoo! hehehe,, oh,, and at 8pm,, teacher chari's gonna have a play in music museum.. and we're watching!

ass.. i'm sleepy.. but i can't sleep.. but i have to wake up at 10am tomorrow! but i can't if i don't sleep now.. but still,, hah, nevermind..

i feel gloomy today.. i mean,, where the heck did bliss go to? well,, as far as i know,, bliss is found right at the top of my previous paragraph.. but then,, whack,, mood swings are approaching.. and i have resigned myself.. argh..

this entry is hell.. it ain't me.. and i want to have the old me back.. i want to see again pauline.. the one who fights with school teachers,, the one who stands up and defends herself.. the one who's open to people,, the pauline who does anything and everything to get what she wants and in turn receives more than she bargained for.. i miss my old self.. this definitely ain't me.. the one who's simple, warm, active, well,, not really.. but sort of.. i miss me.. soooooo much..

point being,, i'm sad..

hase: thanks..

divino,,, divino!! hehehe.. l.s.s?? nweiz,, damn,, it's morning,, and i'm leaving in a bit for class..

i watched "il divino" last night and well,, it was good.. i mean,, i liked the concept.. but it was sort of different for me cuz well,, i'm not used to seeing those kinds of musicals wherein people aren't in our time.. but it was nice.. really.. i liked the candles in the set,, and i liked the playbill! and i liked the last part.. i think that was the 2d to the last song..

i was with nicky,, erika,, macky,, tulsi,, teacher kyla (hehe,, kidding ate ky!),, ate joy,, daddy franz,, michelle,, caisa,, and we sat with pom too! then franco was in a different seat.. he paid siguro.. our tickets were free eh.. nweiz,, i got to see mimay and tanya and patpat too! twas a great night!

oh!! and before all that drama at music museum,, we were in eastwood.. in macky's place.. but that was with macky, nicky, b.a., gab, and ate joy.. then we watched "confessions of a teenage drama queen" but we were like 5 mins late for the movie so we were all running in the escalator to the theater! sobrang tingin ng tingin samin yung people!! hehehe.. afterwards,, we met up with caisa and ate kyla at fazoli's.. fun din! cuz we were all,, arrrgh!! tipid! tipid!! tipid! so kyla got a refillable drink lang and she'd keep on calling the breadstick girl cuz breadsticks were unlimited! hehehe,, ang saya! then franco followed.. looking all formal.. i forgot the reason why.. hehehe.. fun! then ayun,, after a while,, we headed for music museum!

man, i had a great day yesterday.. i actually learned a lot! and i mean A LOT! it's the first "true bliss" feeling i got since God knows when.. and i have Him to thank for..

yeah! uhh,, welcome back, teacher tony! hope i get to see you..

and i'd like to congratulate teacher chari.. she did great!! and yes, sexy! it must be really an honor to be a student of hers.. i'm assured that i'm in good hands.. God, i feel so thankful..

oh yeah! mother's day is nearing!! i haven't a gift yet, but i'll come up with one soon.. nweiz,, happy mothers day to my mom,, to ms rigor for being our one and only grandmama,, to mommny ceny,, to tita grace,, to ate chai!!,, to all the moms out there,, of course, to teacher chari for being our mom in playshop.. basta,, every mother.. whatever kind of mother,, happy mother's day!!

Lord, i thank You so much for yesterday.. i surely had a lot of fun.. and i also thank You for today.. cuz i'll be meeting my classmates again..

now i have an interpretation of the "i'm getting more than i bargained for" thing.. cuz at first i only wanted to have a fun playshop class.. but i'm getting more cuz this is more than fun.. and i'm learning a lot..

rehearsal went well today.. one song na lang and we're done with the whole libretto.. yahoo! then we're doing choreo na.. i'm liking the play!! hehehe,, promise!!

nweiz,, teacher chari wasn't with us kanina.. cuz it's the 2d night of Il Divino.. oh!! and if you guys want to watch,, the last showing is tomorrow na.. you shouldn't miss it!! uhh,, basta tomorrow,, 8pm in music museum! i can't wait na for da vinci's part!! hope it gets staged soon!

ayun,, wala lang.. i'm still blue.. and i'm super overly mega dizzy.. buti nga i got to class pa kanina eh.. ts been like this since last nyt.. kainis nga i wasn't able to understand some parts of Il Divino tuloy.. wala lang.. argh..

grabe pag-open ko ng friendster,, yung bboard puro na lang "inc sophies of spcp post ur rms plz!" and the like.. oh well, ayun,, inatake na naman ako ng feeling na sobrang painful.. oh well..

i'm bored.. i'm dizzy.. what else could i be? i dunno.. i don't care.. wtf,, what am i saying?

i hope this depression goes away na.. i can't bear being like this everyday..

---i want to be like everyone else so no one will point and stare---

hehehe,, my mom said she's attending fpj's miting de avance today.. part of her work kasi eh..

but well,, when she proposed it to us,, i was like "hah? anu ba!! ur gona get super stinky!! it's so hot there and u'll smell like sweat when you get home!! plus! when you get flashed on t.v,, people might think ur an idiot for believing in fpj! that's soooo yikes!! oh no!! oh! and when you get home,, take a bath kaagad!! well,, the best option would be not to attend na lang!!"

man,, i can't believe this is happening!! here i am,, rooting for bro eddie villanueva who is way more deserving of the position.. and here they are!! working for an idiot.. i'm not trashing my mom okay.. i'm just in contradiction of who she's campaigning! fine, they pay good money,, but it's not worth it!

basta to the voters,, i hope you make the best decisions on monday.. please,, decide for US.. if you want us to be happy and to have better lives,, your best choice would be bro eddie..

i'm not saying this just because i'm a playshopper.. that's a common misconception.. well,, basta,, i think he has his morals set straight,, he'd make a good leader,, and best of all,, he puts God first in everything he does.. i believe in him..

nako,, basta,, never ever ever vote for idiotic people!! aie!! i watched pala "papogi" last night.. the show in abs cbn which featured the imaging of the past presidents.. and there was this part wherein marcos said the cory aquino's just a woman and she can't handle the job.. oh ass! whatever!

wala lang.. hehehe,, i'm really scared that the elections are nearing.. oh!! my sister's a namfrel volunteer! she's gonna be part of the quickcount thing.. and dianne's gonna be a pollwatcher too! gosh,, dianne's working from like 6am of may 10 until around 3am of may 11! so she couldn't go to class..

we have playshop on monday!! we won't care about the elections! hehehe..

yun.. wala lang!! ts morning!! aie!! 1pm na pala!

okay,, it is! fine! nweiz,, i saw a lot of bro eddie ads today.. (courtesy of zoe t.v) then they showed clips of the miting de avance in luneta last may 6.. galing! sobra!! achay was able to be there.. i watched Il Divino kasi eh.. but i got no regrets..

then wala lang,, i loved the part wherein they were praying and then there were leaders of other religions.. catholics,, christians,, and muslims.. at first i doubted that it would work.. cuz well,, gma has been burning her ass out trying to unite the conflicted religious groups.. ang dami nang naging peace talks.. all were unsuccessful.. and here comes bro eddie.. who got the votes of christians and muslims alike! sha lang nakagawa nun! wow..

and i do feel the need to have a leader who would straighten out our moral and spiritual values.. who wouldn't even think of stealing our money..

you know what,, i hate surveys.. they mess up the minds of the voters.. i mean,, since they've been endlessly showing that gma and fpj have the lead,, the next time you ask people,, they'd be,, "siguro gma or fpj na lang since sila yung leading sa surveys" which is sooooooooo wrong! i think those surveys should be stopped.. it's plain foolishness!

wala lang.. we already feel like asses on fire.. it's high time that we do the right thing..

ms rigor texted me a while ago.. she said parang she saw me daw on t.v and asked who my parents are campaigning for..

parang,, huh?? ako?? nasa t.v? how i wish i can get some airtime to plug "side show" being the "walang kamatayang plugger" i am.. pero hindi eh.. hehehe.. who the heck did she see? baka akala nya ako c julia roberts since "notting hill" is on studio 23.. nyeeeeeeeeeekkkkkkk!!

to answer her question as to who my parents are voting,, i actually don't know.. primarily because i haven't seen my dad since new year's day.. and my mom? well,,let's just hope she makes an intelligent vote.. *cough*bro eddie*cough*..

my mom just came home.. whoa.. i hope she takes a shower before entering this room.. or else..

wala lang.. arrrrrrgh! i'm super bored!! i can't wait til monday!! sana it's okay with teacher chari that we rehearse even if it's off her sked.. i mean,, the one that teacher kyla proposed.. ung kami-kami lang IF ever they can't supervise.. but if teacher chari,, teacher ring,, teacher rony or teacher dan could be with us,, the better.. so that we'd be guided..

sana monday na.. i can't wait for rehearsal.. at the same time,, i can't wait for the elections!

wala lang.. wutevr comes to mind,, un ung subj title..

my mom told me she didn't attend the rally of fpj yesterday.. kasi daw it rained.. eh she ain't for fpj din naman so what's the use of being there, diba? hehehe,, nanay ko talaga.. may fpj pa shang nllman,, ndi naman pala un ung isusulat s balota nya..

i'm watching "the cheetah girls" right now.. ang cute cute ni toto!! hehe,, the lil white doggie!! and well,, the movie's super nice! awww...

nweiz,, happy mother's day to all the moms!! to my mom,, to my grandmoms,, to my grandmama rigor!,, to ate chai (uy!! 2d moms day mo na!),, to my relatives,, mommy ceny,, to ate tisa,, uhh,, who else.. hmmm.. to teacher chari for being mtg's mom!,, and to every mom in the world! cuz we may not be all moms,, but we all have moms..

man,, toto's sooooooo cute!! really!! awwwwwwww.. aliw!!

what else.. hmmmm.. dunno!! basta,, happy mommeez day to all the moms i mentioned above!!

aie!! mom's treat namin kaninang breakfast!! wala lang.. tipid!! hehehe,, the other day we asked her to buy lots of food.. tapos yun.. kanina ate phoebe made french toast and i made heart-shaped waffles with poj.. hehehe,, samantalang last yr,, kme yung gumastos!! mahirap n nga ang buhay!! hehehe..

ayun,, mannnnn,, boxing match na ni manny pacquiao.. and all the t.v's feeling ko either in solar sports or rpn9!! kainis!! hehehe,, nako,, baka excited n c sir pino!! ikkwento nya 2 pagdating ng skul yr!!

woopee!! ate kyla said we're having extra rehearsals!! aie!! tchr ky pala!! hehehe!!

one more time,, thanks so so much to gab pangilinan for the new pix found in my gallery!!

ciao!

wala lang ulet!! well i guess the title of the entry has nothing at all to do with what's inside.. and well,, being the radical individual i am,, it doesn't matter!!

i came home from the fort.. we ate dinner there.. we were supposed to munch on some go nuts donuts when we saw how long the line was.. before kasi diba it stretched from go nuts til like the f.i.c stall.. ngayon,, we went there.. then kala namin there wasn't a line.. yun pala sa kabilang side!! hehehe,, kaya we're asking our driver to go there on tuesday..

man,, election day is only a few hours away!! i feel so nervous.. i hope bro eddie wins..

speaking of winning,, the people here at home are sooooo frustrated!! hehehe,, cuz tito was waiting for the match of manny pacquiao.. heck,, joanna even flew to las vegas just to watch it!! then ayun,, since it was a draw,, bwisit na bwisit silang lahat.. hehehe.. funny!

yun lang.. wla ln!! vote wisely, voters!! vote bro eddie!

nytnyt!!

first,, i'm giving a shoutout to achay!!! she's going back to st paul pasig!! congrats.. enjoy mo yan ah!! onga pala,, nabasa ko yung survey.. langya naiyak 2loy ako.. sa totoo lang gustong gusto ko nang bumalik.. ni hindi ko nga ginustong umalis eh.. basta,, enjoy ah!! u made a great decision.. i'm happy for you --- really..

shifting gears,, we're the only teens class in playshop which had a class kanina.. but we were only 16.. cuz well,, dianne,, binky and denise took part in the elections,, and the rest,, maybe they thought everything'd be chaotic..

galing galing!! franz was the one who started vocalizing.. he went lang to the keyboard,, then played some tunes,, and started vocalizing.. after a while,, lahat kami nagvvocalize na!! twas like a chain reaction.. galing!! then after the first set,, kala namin he was gonna sing pa.. yun pala,, he let out this HUGE burp!! hehehe.. funny!

afterwards,, we played the game with the chairs.. kaso lang the other team won!! kala kasi namin we made it na,, pero franco passed another chair na.. kaso lang the team of franz kasi,, exact yung last chair!! arrrgh!! then,, the best part of warm-up!! LOG ROLL! hehehe,, fun fun fun!!

then we started polishing the music.. kaso lang we can't rehearse properly cuz sobrang we lacked people.. oh well.. but we still sang a bunch of songs..

while rehearsing,, i wanted to doodle in my script.. but there was a problem: I DUNNO HOW TO DRAW!! oh no!! so i wrote a bunch of stuff instead.. wow,, hehehe..

oh!! and what's fun kanina,, we left the house kanina at 2pm na!! then,, i was trying to make up excuses na for being late in class!! then when we got to edsa,, i figured my reason would be SOOOOOO invalid!! why?! dahil walang cars mashado!! twas so different!! pero fun.. and i wasn't late for class!!

now here i am,, all dizzy and waiting for a cure.. bad thing lang,, i gotta sore throat!! oh no!! i can't!! kaya i've been taking a bunch of lozenges the moment i got home!!

oh yeah.. i'm still for bro eddie!! no matter what!! hehehe..

whoops.. back to the state of depression!! ciao everyone!! sleep tyt!!

here's what's coming your way!

what: SIDE SHOW

who:
--cast: trumpets playshop's musical theater teens advanced
--director: the sexy teacher chari arespacochaga
--asst. director: teacher ring antonio
--musical director: teacher rony fortich
--choreographer: teacher dan cabrera

when: june 5, 2004, (saturday) 5:00p.m (guys,, that's a saturday afternoon.. you got no excuse to miss it!)

where: music museum

if you got any questions in mind,, simply click below and ask away!

see you at the show!!

maybe that's the reason why i'm depressed.. i mean,, i've been crying since last night! dahil lang dun? at hindi ko alam kung bakit lahat ng luhang 'to pumapatak.. kasi hindi naman dapat ganito yung nangyayari eh! this is so much different from the way i envisioned things..

madami na namang depressed ngayon..aba,, maraming nakikisama sakin! walang hiya..

i feel so useless.. i mean,, yung,, hello? best friend ko mismo ndi ako pinapansin? it's not that i'm doubting you or anything.. pero bakit kung kelan sobrang mas mababa pa ko sa kinalalagyan ng lupa,, chka ka mag-ddisappear? bakit? anung nagawa kong masama?

nasasaktan din ako,, yes,, beyond this oh-so-happy facade.. na kala ng iba walang problema..

fine,, i use "magic stuff" to sedate me.. pero sedation lang ang nagagawa nun!! hindi naman nila nasasagot yung mga tanong ko.. ndi naman nila nasosolusyonan yung problema ko.. wala ring kwenta..

bakit ba never pa 'to natapos? more than one year na 'to!! more than a year na kong gn2.. when will it all end?

i'm a mess..

hehehe,, i'm dizzy!! i've been dizzy for 3 straight days now but it's gone too far today.. argh!

my sister wants to watch Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen.. hehe,, hope she pushes thru!! i wanna see the movie again!!

wala lang.. i feel so much pain.. both physically and emotionally.. ouch!

to quote picoy,, "i need paracetamol!"

i'm still dizzy!! i mean,, when will it stop!? oh!! teacher ring, or whoever mtg-er who gets to read this (anyways i'll be texting teacher ring tmrw if ever),, i myt not go to class tomorrow.. but i'll try to!

sorry if ever may na-tarayan ako kanina.. sorry talaga..

aie!! i got to talk to aika today.. wala lang.. sa cel ulet.. mga 30mins yata.. ok lang.. line nmn ako eh.. aun.. bsta we watched wazzup wazzup then after,, nilipat ko sa american idol.. SA STAR WORLD.. diba, aika? SA STAR WORLD!! WALA KA NYAN!! HAHAHAHAHAHA.. wala lang..

i still don't feel well.. but i can't sleep din.. it hurts!! oh no! sa bagay,, if i'm awake pa by 3am,, i can get to watch Shortcuts on disney..

gma's getting a good number of votes in the presidential race..

oh yes..

my life isn't a life filled with pleasure..

oh no..

i just finished my h.w for playshop.. my job is to flirt with the sheik.. what the heck..

oh! i watched You Wish kanina in disney.. twas nice.. really!

ayun,, i think my bed's calling me.. we need each other badly..

i'm going nucking futs.. oh ass..

good night! i hate this feeling..

i want a violin..

wala lang.. class was a bit off.. teacher chari wasnt satisfied with today's rehearsal.. twasnt really how we wanted it to be.. but i guess the set moods for each day are planned by God.. and yes, we should accept it..

after rehearsal,, we went to tita grace's house.. hannah and i were making fun of poj! hehehe,, wala lang,, fun fun!! then ironically,, tita grace kept on telling me "no more sweets! no more sugar for you!!" sabay she packed a bunch of chocolates with us.. hmmmm.. weird!

then we went to mcdo (drive thru) and all.. hehehe.. tapos ayun.. dinner..

then we passed by tito lin's house to give some stuff.. matet didn't recognize us.. hehehe.. oh well..

wala lang!! fun fun fun!

imma ciao now!! whoops!! hehe.. write a better blog nln later!

ayan!! i got time to think!! hehehe.. to expound on what i wrote kanina..

first,, the rehearsals.. they were off plainly because we were all sleepy and most of us were gloomy.. walang nagpapansinan basically.. it's really weird.. pero ok lang.. we got somewhere naman (i think..).. siguro kulang lang ng outrageous warm-up kanina.. i dunno..

then, after rehearsals,, we hung out at kfc.. tapos c jenn lang yata yung bumili ng food.. and she was on a diff table pa!! wid franco and franz and issa and caisa yata.. not sure.. basta yun!! hehehe.. in our table were gab, b.a, lawrence, me, michelle, teacher kyla, macky, nicky,, and then issa joined us after a while.. asteg!

in kfc,, nag-picture kami to the max!! as in,, whoa!! haha!! naaliw c kyla s cam ni b.a.. then we were all posing like freaks.. minsan yung mga tipong the japanese or korean tourists na laging may peace sign sa pichur! haha!! then c franz nagpa-pic with his great shorts!! haha!! cuz his shorts has this pic of a banana right on the place of his banana.. then at the back,, it said "this is what you call a banana split" hehehe.. basta astig!! benta!! hahaha!!

hehehe,, afterwards, gab and i headed for the mercury exit.. kaso lang natagalan kami so we bought fruit tella in mercury.. yum yum fruit tella n strawberry!

then i called up the driver,, sabi nya he's there na daw.. i can't see him naman!! then i was like "punta ka na dito, kung saan mo ko binaba.. dun s may mercury.." then he was like "oo nga po nandito na ko sa starbucks.." oh ass!! hahaha!! kainis!! he's a diff driver kasi eh..

the usual driver wasn't able to show up cuz he met an accident.. and guess what happened.. parang cartoons! kasi daw he was chopping of a branch of a tree.. then he fell.. turns out he was holding on to the branch he was cutting! arrrgh!! funny!! kainis!! hahaha! pero wawa naman the driver.. if only he'd known better.. nweiz,, hehe,, hi manong! next time, dun ka kumapit sa hindi mo pinuputol na branch! hehehe..

then ayun,, poj and i were in the car.. we went to gilmore.. wala lang! we played with hannah for a while.. hee! then they invited us to go to splash island on saturday.. sana walang rehearsal on saturday!! i rily want to have time for my family.. plus, no one's gonna be here from saturday til sunday.. we're all going to southwoods.. kaya if ever there's a rehearsal,, i dunno,, compromise na lang siguro..

oh no.. i really don't wanna miss rehearsal!! and i don't want to be left out with my family either.. oh well,, set my priorities straight.. as of now, shempre my priority is the rehearsal since i want the class to come up with a great show for everyone's benefit.. and there's no other way to do it than to rehearse!

ayun.. wala lang.. i guess this is a better entry na!! hehehe..

ciao,, it's almost shortcuts on disney eh!

nytnyt.. ay!! morning!

i'm still overly dizzy oh no! pero ok lang.. i deal with it!

oh man,, i haven't any entry pala today.. yikes!! chka,, i'm not yet done with my homework!! whoops!!

nweiz,, nothing much happened today.. i'm still depressed..

oh! i got an invite from mafe,, may class party daw.. but i won't go.. rehearsal eh.. i have to set my priorities straight.. and my priority as of now is the show,, since everyone's sooo working hard on it.. ang panget naman if i don't do my part..

i packed my bags na knina.. ready for southwoods.. pero i'm ready din to unleash a bit of aggravation if ever teacher chari calls for rehearsal on saturday.. surely, i won't stay na in southwoods if there's a rehearsal.. but it's ok.. at least imma prepare for a good show..

o sha,, update na lang on sunday or monday.. imma do homework pa eh..

nytnyt!

note: the "pauline" i'm mentioning here ain't me.. it's hannah's (my cousin) cousin..

yahoo!! after 2 agonizing days,, i'm home!

last friday i slept in hannah's house with ate phoebe and poj.. then came saturday,, we headed to splash island! we left hannah's place at around 7:40 and picked up pauline at her place (no, this isn't me!! this is hannah's cousin! we have the same name! woohoo! someone loves me!)

during the whole trip, poj didn't stop talking.. i dunno why but whenever there's a long trip, he just gets mega-hyper! hehehe,,

ayun,, we reached splash at 9am.. gosh, ang daming people! sobra!! lufet! kainis! the rio montanosa line nga stretched to as far as the end of the stairs! as in!! sa pinakataas yung slide then yung line umabot s pinakababa! whoa! lufet!! hehe,, then we went to the diff slides and all.. and poj conquered his irritating fear of heights and got more acquainted with the water..

kainis nga lang,, when he was in magellan's drop, there was this guy, who was in the same line.. then poj wasn't done with the ride yet, but the guy went agad!! he wasn't even told to go! then he bumped poj in the butt,, as in tumalsik si poj! but it wasn't that serious naman.. but still!! ayun,, the guy didn't even say sorry to poj daw.. tapos funny,, kami kc ni ate phoebe were on queue pa when that happened,, then we were shouting curses at him.. then the people around were all looking at us but we didn't care.. hehe,, siguro they were thinking "syets ang liliit ng mga 'to ah! ndi ko akalaing ganyan sila!" hehehe.. weird..

then ayun, pauline lost her goggles.. whoops!! basta she lost it in out 1st ride,, then the lifeguard told us to come back.. mga 10am pa when she lost the goggles.. tapos we kept on coming back,, it wasn't found daw.. so ate phoebe and i were practically getting mad at the lifeguards for not having searched for the goggles the moment it got lost.. then what's funny pa,, kasi the lifeguards didn't know that we can speak in tagalog,, so one lifeguard was like,, "uhh,, you tell your mom,, um,, wait for the,, the goggles will,, come back in a long time,, oh no not long time,, a short,, short.. blah blah blah.." and we were like,, "okay okay we get your point! now,, stop!! nweiz,, time went by and the goggles weren't found.. oh poo..

we left splash at like 2pm and headed for the southwoods manor.. twas a nice place! i mean,, the rooms are great! really! twas nice.. then ayun,, that same day,, we played badminton,, then we also tried the paintball thingy.. pauline, hannah and poj were afraid! but ate phoebe and i enjoyed it! too bad we didn't hit each other though.. no paintball went to us tuloy.. argh.. poj was the 1st one who got out.. he was hit in the face kasi.. then pauline,, then hannah.. so ate phoebe and i won! kasi we hit all of them!

ayun,, fun fun! then we ate dinner,, and slept.. it took a bit long though..

then kanina,, we had a "clan lunch".. so ayun,, we waited for my mom, my uncle and aunts,, and my cousins with their families.. again, we swam.. but in the southwoods country club lang.. not in splash anymore.. ayun,, hehe,, we swam with the kids! i felt real old! hehe,, cuz my nieces were there.. they're all so cute!

we left southwoods at like 5pm already.. when we were about to leave nga,, reinn (my oh-so-cute 2-yr old niece) wanted to go home with us! hehehe,, we reached manila at like 7pm..

and now, here i am! home sweet home!

what hurts though,, is that i'm like sooo red!! cuz ate phoebe and i put a lot of tan express on our bodies! and now, it hurts!! we gotta lotta sunburns! then sobrang hot nung sunburns! so we'd like touch each others shoulders and go "tssssss....." upon touching! hehe,, i think you can fry an egg on my shoulder.. or even make a whole gourmet dish! hehe..

ayun,, aie kanina!! aika and i were texting.. and then i told her nga that i'm all red and dark and sunburned and tired.. and she was like,, "so in other words,, you're hot!" and i'm like,, hey! why didn't i think of that!!? hrmph.. aika ang daya mo!! ako dapat naka-isip nun! hehehe..

nweiz,, imma sleep now!! i got rehearsals pa tmrw!! blocking na ng act 2! galing galing! we were able to block act 1 in like 3 hours lang! go mtg!

onga pala, hi belles! sorry tulog ako knina!

hehe,, seriously,, good night!

p.s.,, whoever wants to make me a layout gets a free ticket to "side show" ah!! hehe,, wala lang,, basta gs2 ko yung layout puro face ko! *ahem* ate phoebe *ahem* gawaan mo ko!

i will never go away
we were meant to share each moment
beside you is where i will stay
evermore and always
we'll be one though we're two
for i will never leave you!

this is my MAJOR LSS as of the moment! kanina it was "tunnel of love" eh.. wala lang.. whoa.. lufet! hehehe,,

anyways,, we finished blocking act 2! wahoo! we finished blocking the show! hehehe,, so on wednesday would be our stumblethru and then keep on running na lang the succeeding rehearsals.. pero maybe on thursday or next week we'd add choreo na.. yahoo! then tomorrow,, rehearsals in ate joy's place!

ayun,, kanina,, after rehearsals,, we headed for kfc (as usual!) then b.a and i had to stay for a while to wait for franco cuz he got some stuff.. hmmm.. then when b.a and i got out,, we saw ate joy! (i'm sorry if i keep on calling you ate.. tell me if you hate it!) then b.a left for mega and ate joy and i were talking.. lagi kaming naiiwan! argh!! i mean,, dun sa il divino,, on the way to music museum,, macky and nicky were talking about something we both can't relate with! then wala lang,, lagi kme OP!! huhuhu,, pero ok lang,, kasi hindi na OP yung kung 2 naman! sabi nya,, cla din daw ni kyla gnun! hehehe,, fun fun! tapos ayun,, i called up my mom 3 times,, then she txtd me "dont be kulit, im near na. it's traffic lang!" eh i read the msg aloud and ate joy heard it so she laughed.. then her dad came na to pick her up..

onga pala!! knina,, we all applauded when caisa and jenn sang "i will never leave you" during the blocking! galeng! idols! hehehe,, grabe,, sobrang,, wow! i loved it!!

hehehe,, ayun,, i'm excited na for tomorrow! kaso lang my mom kanina,, when i was asking for permission, she was like "anu ba yan! rehearsals na naman! tapos 6-8:30 ng gabi! tama na!" and i was like "ma,, we can never get enough rehearsals! it's two weeks til showtime! and i need all the practice i can get! everyone wants a good show and i know that includes you. you don't want me to perform at my worst during showtime, do you?" and she was like, "okay!" as in the quick okay like nothing happened! hehehe.. labo!

grabe,, the rain's here na! gosh,, i mean,, panu na yan? don't tell me summer's over! man, i loathe school! sana playshop na lang lagi! hehe,, is there a school that focuses on the performing arts? kasi in other countries meron pero dito wala.. sana may magtayo! hehehe.. para dun na lang school ko!

oh my how ironic.. i mean,, hello?! i'm all sunburned and i great pain (or in aika's terms, i'm hot! galing mo, kapatid! i like it!) kung kelan umuulan na.. at may bagyo pa! argh! sayang sunburns ko na ang sakit pa rin hanggang ngayon!

o sha,, poj is making kulit na.. hehe,, his turn on the comp! night everyone!

wahoo! hehe,, i'm home! wow! hehe,, i came from rehearsal kanina lang at ate joy's place! pero konti lang kme.. shempre nndun cla teacher kyla,, macky,, franz,, caisa,, joy (malamang!),, franco,, jenn,, erika,, michelle,, b.a,, lawrence,, nicky,, doods,, and i'm like,, soooooo sorry if i missed out on anyone!

ayun,, twas fun!! but of course it could have been more fun if more people came..

we did music lang.. we polished the music.. then ayun,, hang out.. we stayed til like quarter to nine..

oh!! we saw the poveda yearbook kanina!! cuz joy's from poveda,, she was a senior then and kyla was a 7th grader.. hehehe,, fun! ang aliw! kyla didn't look like a 7th grader! parang gr4! hehehe, joketime ate kyla!

tapos basta they were looking for a place wherein we could have the pictorials,, then i said that my cousin has a studio in tomas morato.. then jenn was like,, "tomas morato? talaga? sino yung cousin mo?" and i was like,, "marco abesamis?!" then she was like "oh my gosh?! pinsan mo yun? eh diba yun yung photographer ng abs cbn? ang galing! small world!" hehehe.. kasi jenn joined star in a million,, eh kuya marco's the photographer in star in a million and star circle quest.. ayun.. hehe.. fun! small world nga naman.. hi kuya marco! hehe,, ako din pichuran mo!

aun,, then when rehearsal ended,, b.a,, lawrence and i rode with nicky to shang.. then b.a and i went to mega.. cuz our parents were there.. ayos!

and now, here i am,, finally home,, thankful for the day that was,, currently chatting with belles in ym.. and thankful for joy for the rehearsal place,, nicky for the ride,, and GOD for today!

ciao! night night!

i'm currently chatting with macky in ym.. basically about stuff.. hehe..

we did a stumblethru today.. off-book.. it was nice,, though i guess we missed on a bunch of blockings.. like the one after the wedding thingy,, dapat cross yung 2 lines,, tapos ndi namin ginawa yun! oh no! i dunno if teacher chari noticed it.. whew!

buti na lang she didn't blow her top off kanina.. unlike the one kyla told us yesterday.. yung nangyari dun sa isang class.. whoa!

hehehe,, nweiz,, after class,, shempre,, the usual kfc thing.. hehe,, pero i didn't join.. cuz my mom called me up..

oh! and eo visited our class kanina.. hehe,, then wala lang.. he watched the rehearsal and stuff..

ayun,, and i just finished a conv with macky and pat's bro.. hehe,, poj's gonna play the sims kasi eh..

and i read some write-ups sa egroups ng sideshow..

tapos sabi ni b.a ndi sha natanggap sa sibol.. --- what? eh well,, so what? advanced ka naman sa trumpets eh! hehehe,, ibig sabihin,, ndi marunong mag-judge ang sibol!

tapos wala lang.. ndi na c teacher dan yung choreographer namin.. ts gonna be teacher liz.. the one who did the choreo nung auditions..

sabi ko kay poj makiki-singit lang ako sa comp.. tapos 1 hour n ko dito..

why do i feel like i swallowed a butterfly?

grabe,, ang ganda nung song na "i will never leave you".. sobra!

i think this is bullshit.. this entry doesn't make sense! i think i have to compose my thoughts so as to come up with a better entry tomorrow..

sabi ni lawrence dati,, c teacher rony daw yung nag-choreo samin 4 yrs ago!! hahaha!! lost ka talaga, lawrence! your bad your bad.. haha! ok lang yan!

ako din tuloy lost na.. pagod lang siguro..

oh my,, ang lakas ng rain.. pucha malapit na mag-school.. ayoko pa.. sobrang ayoko nang pumasok sa skul.. ang pangit ng skul ko eh!! hehehe,, ang daya mo talaga, achay!

onga pala,, HAPPY BIRTHDAY GUADA!! hehe,, remember what i txtd u last nyt ah!

hehehe,, insomnia attacks!! hehehe,, gosh i sooo have a sore throat! i've been "indulging" in lozenges since God knows when.. man,, this sucks!! i got no more lozenges left.. i dunno what caused the sore throat.. impossibly the singing we did at rehearsals! cuz well,, my throat doesn't fight with me when i sing.. i hate this!

back in gr6,, i remember ms inductivo talking about sore throat being a viral infection and all.. wala lang.. naalala ko lang! hahaha! lupit nung gr6 reporting nun!! sobrang halos lahat kme like 3 mistakes lang sa exams! kc ang dali nung tinuturo nya!! hahaha!! asteg! then,, you guys know the way she says "yeessssss" whenever we answer correctly!! yung parang bedroom voice na nang-seseduce!! hahaha! oh mahn!! teachers make me sick! haha!

wala lang.. i mean,, whoa!! ahaha!! nweiz,, i was txting aika til like 2:30.. then she told me she got hit by a baseball on the leg yata.. *forgot! sorry dearie!* ehehe.. and she told me that i'm maarte for despising ginger ale.. argh!

damn,, i didn't get to watch "short cuts" kaninang 3:00 sa disney!! i was waiting for it pa naman! c poj kasi eh,, he watched lion king 1 1/2 again!

nweiz,, interesanteng kwento.. i always forget to put kyla's story here!! the one about the freakshow.. kasi diba you know how the freakshow works.. as in the mermaid whatevers who think they know how to sing,, then yung mga dwarf thingy and all the shit,, ayun.. bsta,, before daw,, the americans would take native filipinos (the ones wearing bahag if i'm not mistaken) then present the innocent filipino natives in the freakshow as one of the attractions.. argh!

omg,, ndi pa rin ako tapos s entry na 2!! hahaha!! it's like 4:21 am na! pero ok lang,, dont care!

my current l.s.s. is "tunnel of love" na naman!! arrrgh!! gusto ko yung marry me, terry! wehehe..

aie!! isa pang interesanteng kwento!! my 4-yr old niece,, basta when we were in southwoods last sunday,, i was swimming around.. then she called me.. she was like "why is there water in the swimming pool?" hehehe,, lost!

ang daming lost ngayon! hahaha!!

mag-comment naman kayo! ang corny ng buhay eh! go go go!! mag-comment kayo!! hehehe..

o sha,, sige n nga,, tatapusin ko na toh!!

babu!

hee! i woke up and looked at my phone.. it was 12:59p.m!! wahoo!! i fell asleep! yessss! i slept at like 5:30am.. i dunno why!! this time, it wasn't the attack of the side show songs unlike the one that happened last friday.. now,, i guess it was the sims' fault..

i just finished reading blogs (i read friends' blogs every chance i get.. i mean,, all the entries in my friends' list.. hee! killing time? no,, more of knowing people better.. and perhaps helping them if ever there's anything wrong..)

also,, i just finished chatting with joy.. she didn't have work yesterday and today.. so i guess it figures that she's awake! boy, i can't take that!! idol! hee!

i feel sleepy again.. hay nako..

again,, the line "why do i feel like i swallowed a butterfly" is in my head.. oh no!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!

here i am,, being non-sensical again! oh my!! garapitz might get mad at me! she hates non-sensical people! wtf!! i dunno what this is about..

later!

gosh! i didn't go online yday! cuz my sister was using the comp and i wanted to sleep early.. so i played the sims til like 12am and then i went to my room.. as i was enjoying the comforts of my bed,, i suddenly realized: I CAN'T SLEEP!! oh my..

i turned on my phone alarm for like 6am.. cuz i told my mom i had to be at shang by 8am for choreo.. good thing i was already asleep at 2am.. then i woke up at 6,, and miraculously,, my sked was followed! walang 1 hour delay today! cuz my mom wasn't the one who brought me there..

i went down at mrt qc ave station for a faster trip to shang.. daming people! mehn! katakot! then i was in shang na at like 8am sharp.. galing! i went to the entrance and presented my playshop i.d.. they let me in,, but shang was really dark that time! like the times when we'd end rehearsals by 11pm and all the lights are out na.. i got scared so i went to starbucks instead.. luckily,, michelle came! then franz,, then tulsi,, then b.a! we chatted and basically hung out..then at like a quarter to nine,, teacher chari was also in starbucks.. she was on the phone when she came in.. b.a and franz were waving but she didn't mind them.. then when she got her coffee na,, she was like "oh,, ang aaga nyo ah!" parang,, uhh,, was that the only time she saw us? only she knows..

after a while we went na to the basement.. it was kinda dark still.. but there were a few lights na.. we watched cirque du soleil while waiting for the others to arrive..

we did more choreo today! and my oh my,, it was hard! the devil you know's sooo fast! teacher dan was the one who did it.. grabe!! we were a mess! yikes! hahaha,, i was sooooo frustrated! it's really fast! we ended choreo at like 12 already.. and we should have been out by 11:30.. but it's okay! at least a teeny bit of progress was observed.. and i must say it was a productive rehearsal today.. i was about to give up na but well,, i won't learn if i give up.. and that's not the pauline i know.. i know i can do it! i think..

hayyy,, after texting 90 people yesterday to watch SIDE SHOW (yes, 90 people!) i only got 11 replies! wow.. ganun ka-dami yung either walang load or tamad magtext.. dammit,, i spent more than a hundred bucks just to advertise.. and i have to pay my phone bill using my money! i'm frustrated..

imma blog later.. i'll do something more frustrating in the form of cleaning out my closet.. my mom told me to do so.. it didn't need fixing naman eh!

i forgot nga pala to blog yesterday!! hehe,,

we did choreo yday.. the opening act.. and let's say i'm going to do something that is sooo expected of me.. cuz i've been doing it since the 5th grade.. (yes, mtg-ers,, i'm used to it! though i did it in the confines of my classroom back then!! hahaha!) and when i was told what i was supposed to do,, i was like "oh ass!" and i was turning red all over! but it's fine! i did it in footloose,, i did it in grade school,, so i don't see a problem in doing it again.. in public.. in front of hundreds of people.. probably thousands of little eyes.. hah! now i see the problem..

oh!! before we did choreo,, we played new york lemonade.. it's my fave game.. joy met a mishap though.. na-tense nga ako eh! it gave me a billion shivers! hey joy! hope ur aryt!

speaking of mishaps,, inna,, i know u love this story! 2 years ago,, we were rehearsing in wack2 heights,, in eo and mandy's place.. then there was this table (prop) then eo fell off.. then we all grew tense and everyone was scared.. and tonipet went "eo! careful!" right after eo fell off.. parang,, wow.. telling someone to be careful after falling.. nweiz,, he was on the floor.. he wasn't responding.. and we were worried! krisan even shouted,, "oh no! is he dead?" then after around 15 seconds which seemed like hours,, he shouted and jumped up! we were all soooo surprised!! i even shreiked out of shock! hehe,, twas super fun!

going back,, ayun,, then on our turn,, in the middle of the game,, franco shouted and i was surprised! kasi well,, who wouldnt go praning naman? haha!! arrrrgh! nakakainis! but still,, i love new york lemonade!

onga pala!! b4 the rehearsal yday,, franco inserted a cd.. then the song was "i believe i can fly" and we couldnt figure out who it was.. all we heard was a terrible voice! and if you're thinking of william hung,, you must be psychic.. it was william hung! walang hiya! u guys have to download it! i got my mp3 of it na!

nweiz,, i really was frustrated after rehearsal today.. i didn't like my energy-level as well as my performance.. hayyy.. "the devil you know" could give me a heart attack!

i got home at arnd 1pm kanina.. i was chatting with joy in ym,, we talked about a lot of stuff! to think she hasn't slept yet! but she must be asleep na now.. and she told me she's going to read this.. so if ur joy and ur reading this,, hi! hehe! thanks so much! for all that u told me kanina! learned sooo much! so amazing! oh! and i forgot nga pala the thing teacher chari told doods.. if u can,, would you place it in the comments section? or tag it? thanks much!

oh! i didn't eat lunch today.. and i don't plan on eating dinner.. cuz something happened today.. and i hated it..

onga pala!! people! it was may 21 yday! and while taking a shower,, i thought to myself,, "something always happens on may 21.. as well as august 15! cuz on may 21, miracles happen.. and on august 15,, disasters occur!" hehe.. it's true!

aika told me kanina that i should sleep already.. cuz i had like barely 3 hours of sleep last night,, and i've been dizzy the whole day.. and another damned nosebleed is happening.. argh! i always get nosebleeds! and my sister is ALWAYS disgusted when i get nosebleeds! hahaha! whoops! na off-topic! nweiz,, i'm so sorry aika! promise,, matutulog ako mamaya.. kasi gabi na.. hehe.. i'll use magic! u know what i mean!

oh sha!! ciao!! nytnyt!!

i woke up at 12:05pm.. i slept at 11:59pm.. okay.. 12 hours and 6 minutes! and now i do deel drowsy! and nauseous!

i had a hard time sedating myself last night.. i figured out that the medicine i was drinking to put me to sleep is hydroxyzine.. ayan tuloy!! haha!! the side effects!!

then kainis pa,, the neighbor's so noisy! they're having this videoke session.. and it was sooo noisy!! mas magaling pa yata si william hung kumanta eh!

nweiz,, ayan i'm back! kainis kc my sister! i went to my room lang to get my phone,, and then when i came back,, she was using the comp na!! blogging in her blog,, checking her email!! arrrrgh!! and when i got back,, joy signed out na (which obviously means nag-ym na naman kme.. aside from being o.p in class! we always end up bumping into each other.. during class,, after class,, at ngayon, pati ba naman sa internet?! hahaha!)

star wars episde 2 is on star movies right now!! grabe,, natalie portman is soooo pretty!! lagi na lang sha maganda!! hehe!! inggit! and hayden christensen is not exactly to die for.. pero he's cute! and yeah,, i like him a little! and oh how i love the way yoda speaks!! haha!! the reverse order of his sentences!! hahaha!! so fun!

oh yeah! i loooove being in front of the comp now!! i got to skip lunch and dinner yesterday!! yahoo!!

nweiz,, later!

oo, baket? paki mo?

shet ang taray ko ngayon!

nag-away kme ni poj today.. pano, he always wants his way to be followed.. eh ayokong sundin.. kaya nagsumbong sha sa mom ko..

sinigawan ako ni mama.. i shouted back..

and she got mad at me.. malamang..

so ngayon,, i'm in a rough time,, with both poj and my mom..

i hate it.. they get into my nerves..

kanina din,, before my mom left, i asked her if she got na my head thingy for the side show costume.. she said no.. then i told her na costume-check na tomorrow.. she shouted at me and said "eh bakit ngayon mo lang sinabi? anung kala mo sakin, kukunin ko agad yun ngayon?" ndi na lang ako nag-answer since well,, baka kung ano lang masabi ko.. pero come to think of it,, fuck naman! i've been telling her to get it since my role was assigned! ang tagal na nun! lagi ko sinasabi yun.. tapos that's the only answer i'd get? such an ass..

poj came to check if i'm done with the comp.. sabi ko s knya "o ano!? magsumbong ka pa ah! jan ka naman magaling eh! baka gusto mo isumbong ko din lahat ng pinag-gagagawa mo!?" nakakabanas!

my mom also went to check on me.. and since i'm crying *pretty much the result of holding back my tears for quite a long time now* my mom asked "anung nginangawa mo jan?" and i was like "paki mo ba?" bad 3p.. arggh..

i promise to do something stupid to myself..

sorry,, i know this entry is such a put-down..

i'll cheer up when i'm high..

my eyes look great in the morning when i cry myself to sleep.. it gets this definite shape and it looks really pretty..

i'm kind of okay now.. poj said sorry.. but my mom? well,, i dunno.. who knows? wtf..

i woke up at 11. so right now, i've only been awake for like 41 minutes.. hayyy.. hala! i myt be late! pero well,, i told tito that class would start at 2pm starting today.. para on time ako.. 3pm nndun n ko..

cheered up na ko by 12am.. cuz i spent my time alone in my room.. then aika txtd me.. but i didn't tell her about anything that happened that night.. oh well,, if u get to read this, aix,, now you know..

i dunno what time i slept.. i started looking for costumes at 12:30.. to make use of the time naman.. wow,, hanggang costumes ba naman,, crammer pa rin ako? and oh yeah! i'm making pieces of jewelry for the costume.. bracelets and a necklace,, etc.. but i don't think i'd finish by today..

nweiz,, to those who tagged and gave comments,, thanks so much..

joy: thanks.. i think i'm partly okay now.. heck,, i'll never be totally okay..

hase and inna: thanks din.. well,, yeah,, i did do something stupid as promised.. but it's too stupid for public broadcasting..

monique: i miss you so much! hope you get to watch the show!

man,, i miss cinco! i miss my friends.. and i'm so glad i have a lot of them surrounding me..

i still love the way my eyes look..

i gotta get ready for class..

and when i get back (maybe after playing the sims),, my radical mind would come back.. and be in full blast..

sabi ko nga i have to get ready for class eh..

rehearsal was so-so today.. it wasn't absolutely fun, though at the same time, it wasn't terrible..

we had a costume parade which was pretty much worse than that of last year.. in footloose, yung cocktail dresses lang yung mali.. in side show, yun lang yung tama!

anyways, i'm just making singit with the comp right now.. i'm using the one in the sala.. cuz poj is using the one in his room.. my sister is using this one since her laptop is still broken.. and tito is using his laptop.. so ako na naman yung o.p.. o.p na naman ako!? ate joy, when will it all end?! hahaha!

a while ago ate phoebe took the personality disorder test.. i took that in 7th grade.. and my results were terrible! i was very high in the schizotypal and the dependent aspects.. schizotypal being yes, having this bit of eccentricity and the tendency of explaining things in a far too complicated manner.. exactly the one i am exhibiting at the moment.. whoops!

we got rehearsals again tomorrow night! woopee! this is really fun!

oh!! and there's really this thing bugging me.. cuz on june 5, it's gonna be side show na.. then on the same date, it'd be an spcp batch party!! but it'd end late.. camille told me to catch up after the show, but hello? the party's starting at like 5pm,, which is sooo the start of side show! so how will my friends get to watch? argh! oh no! desto, move nyo na lang!! hahaha!! kidding! ttry ko pumunta.. sana lang tlga payagan ako!

nga pala,, i got to watch a bit of morning girls this morning (duh?!),, and they had eddie gil as a guest,, and then he sang "my way" (the song that's soo popular at videoke bars,, and sometimes the reason for some deaths.. kasi daw nag-aagawan ng mic yung mga lasing sa videoke bar.. kaya nagpapatayan..) tapos wala lang.. it was so perfect na sa start.. and then pagdating dun sa chorus: "....... i did it myyyyyyyy WEEEEEEEE!!!" hahaha!! with much conviction to match!

our world is filled with a lot of absurdities.. it's the losers' time to shine! i mean,, hello? who are the popular singers? eddie gil and william hung?! i do admire their courage though.. and i will thank them with all my heart if they stop singing their hearts out and instead, (for william hung) continue studying engineering.. (and in eddie gil's case),, pay off the national debt.. there'd be such an amazing world if they do that!

oh! and to b.a: yeah i guess i'm okay.. thanks for asking..

ciao.. it's time to play the sims! poj is done with the other comp! thus my time to transfer to the comp in his room!

good night everyone! sleep well! i dunno if i will!

wahhhhhh!! hahaha!! galet c aika.. kc bsta.. galet sha.. oh well..

naaliw ako dun sa entry ni patti! it sobrang cool!! i mean,, aliw!! haha!! kulet mo tlga patti!! ayos! *hands down*

everyone's asleep but me.. nakaka-inggit nga eh.. pero okay lang.. at least i can watch short cuts on disney! it's such a cool show! mamayang 3:00am.. and it's now 2:18.. mejo matagal pa.. pero since ndi ako makatulog,, i can wait..

argh! ang daming nagssend sakin nung msg with the lines "if u don't send this back,, ur not a true friend.." and messages with the same idea.. nakakabanas! parang, hello? it's too easy to copy and paste and send.. but not sending a message back does not automatically mean that you are a true friend! hindi yun yung sukatan nun! how shallow can people get? true friendship could be exhibited in actual situations.. i know this cliche is familiar and you're sick of this, pero totoo.. "actions speak louder than words" because hello? words are plain words.. messages would remain messages.. words may give you an assurance of some kind, but nothing compares to seeing everything in action.. seeing someone giving you support through the most trying times of your life.. ayun ang true friend! hindi yung nagssend lang ng message.. sabay hahayaan ka lang palang maghingalo hanggang sa mamatay ka.. hayop! sorry,, it just makes me squirm..

ayan! it's 2:27! in a while, shortcuts will be showing! yahoo!

moving on, i've been rereading a couple of bob ong's books while waiting for the next book to come out.. hope it comes out soon.. i understand the books better now.. he's really a great writer.. but i don't hope to be like him.. i mean, get his writing style and all.. cuz that would mean losing his job!

wow,, this is hard.. i really can't sleep.. after 4 whole hours of playing the sims, 2-3 hours online,, etc, i still am not in the right mind to doze off.. why? cuz i can't! nuff said..

earlier today i was discussing school plans with my sister.. cuz poj will be in gr2 and he's in the morning session now.. so the three of us will go to school together.. but poj will be dismissed at 2:30 i think.. then my sister will be out by 4:30 at the latest,, and,, being the usual o.p i am,, i'll be out at 6pm due to club rehearsals! oh man.. i can imagine the assed out feeling now! haha! oh well,, banaag's what i chose,, so i'd have to deal with it.. i won't be in their season opener though.. cuz theyre in the middle of rehearsing the show and i'm in the middle of rehearsing for side show.. and well, i'd end up in hell if i chose to be in both plays.. so of course, i have to prioritize side show..

my family wants me to take up law.. theyre all so weird.. if not law, med daw.. argh! hello!? i don't want those! cuz a number of our relatives are lawyers or politicians.. and well,, some are into medicine too.. but i don't want it! fine, i love debating, and yeah, i love politics, but still, it doesn't rule me.. medicine pays well, and yeah, i want to be of help.. but then i hate gore! i'm confused.. i want to grow up some more for me to be in the right mind..

told ya i'm not in the right mind.. it's 2:40.. 20 more minutes before shortcuts!

i want to laugh out loud and cry like a baby.. cry like a baby cuz they don't let poise get in the way.. as in, sobrang natural nung labas ng tears nila.. unlike me,, shempre i'm conscious na so i still have to look presentable.. presentable ain't the right word.. cuz when people look at me,, they may want to barf or stare at my "grotesque physique" as we may want to call it..

i've been coughing since i got home.. and guess what! i got colds to accompany it! i'm sick as a dog!

i ain't sure if i can make it to the rehearsals at joy's place.. but i sure hope i could be there!

i gotta call it a night..

good morning!

oh how i loooooooove ironies!

kc,, my aunt's a buddhist,, and so is duncan sheik.. then my aunt has this radio show (am radio.. forgot the station eh!).. then when duncan sheik was here, my aunt invited him to guest in the radio show.. then he called up my aunt.. my grandmother answered the phone.. of course she wasn't familiar with duncan sheik.. wala lang.. and here i am,, regretting to this day,, why i wasn't in their place when that occurred.. and had i known he would call,, i would have waited by the phone all day!! haha!!

let's shift gears..

i'm going to joy's place today! kaso lang i have a sore throat again.. besides the cough and colds i'm experiencing.. i even had a terrible time putting myself to sleep last night! it was 3am already! but it's okay! gotta rehearse!! wahoo! hahaha.. and i do have to study the choreo for "the devil you know" for me to rid the frustration! wah!

once more, let's shift gears..

here's a test i took back in 7th grade.. these are the results.. ndi ko alam ang dami pala n nag-ttake nun! hehehe,,

Disorder	Rating
Paranoid:	High
Schizoid:	Moderate
Schizotypal:	Very High
Antisocial:	Moderate
Borderline:	Very High
Histrionic:	High
Narcissistic:	Moderate
Avoidant:	High
Dependent:	Very High
Obsessive-Compulsive:	High
-- Personality Disorder Test - Take It! --

oh my!! very high yung schizotypal?! hehe,, ayos! pero ang weird cuz moderate lang yung narcissistic?! but all the others are soo true! whoa!

i'll be back... tonight!

what a day! it was sooo fun! and enlightening, and so cool, and i feel great!

i wasn't at the morning rehearsal cuz i wasn't in the stuff they had to rehearse.. i wanted to be there though.. but i woke up at 11a.m.. so ayun..

but i was in joy's place! the announced rehearsal at joy's house today at 6:30-8:30 was a huge success! well, i was there, and so were nicky, erika, michelle, kyla, and of course, joy! and yes, out of 20+ students, we were only six!

whatever happened to the others?

macky called in sick.. and caisa was sick too.. and so was b.a,, i'm sick too but still i came.. i am currently suffering (and not enjoying) sore throat, accompanied by cough and colds.. but i still made it cuz i knew i could still manage and tha's just how much i loved mtg.. if i name all who weren't in the rehearsal, it would take forever.. and i was like, oh no this is not going to be a show done by sneezing freaks! i imagined it..

come look at the freaks (sneeze)
come gape at the geeks (sneeze)
come examine these (sneeze)ations

and i would appear even dumber by the second if i dare continue this..

i imagine teacher chari, once more, in her "holy camote patatas fritas you oompa loompas!!" fashion during bummed out rehearsals..

oh! and after like 15 minutes, nicky left.. too bad she missed out on all the juicy stuff!

how the heck could we rehearse with only five people? michelle, kyla, joy, erika, and pretty me,, turned it into a bonding session! we talked about all sorts of stuff! like when kyla was.... and the time joy... then michelle had this... oh! and erika was like... and you know had this experience when...

come on! you don't think i'd spill it all out in here, do you? i am soooo not that stupid! and i love erika, joy, kyla and michelle all too much so i vow never to let anything out..

in the couple of hours we squeezed flaming hot issues out of our guts, i realized that all 5 of us are creating this oh-so-strong bond.. that all of us secluded in that one room, sharing all those thoughts, ranting and raving about everything, were building trust in one another, transforming from acquaintances to friends.. and i know that those moments we shared has created a huge mark in me.. one that i could never ever ever erase.. i sure won't forget this day..

i love bonding moments so much.. i feel that someone actually trusts me.. and that really lifts my soul..

i hope it happens again.. days from now, maybe months, and hopefully, in the years to follow..

i can't help but feel so blessed to have known them.. i can't really explain how i actually feel.. but for sure, it's really really great!

i want to write more about the experience i had during that bonding session, but i don't exactly know how to do it!

moving on, we left joy's place at 8:30.. coincidentally, erika hitched with michelle, and kyla rode with me! and our rides arrived at the same time!

kyla and i were so quiet in the ride going to shang (we dropped her off there).. i have no idea why we weren't talking much.. for me, i guess it was because i was absorbing all the stuff we talked about.. for kyla? i don't know..

oh! i almost forgot! hee! the 5 of us who were there in joy's place today were in one place last year! we didn't know one another then! it was in "little shop of horrors" by the adults theater class.. erika, michelle and i watched it because teacher chari was the director.. then joy was part of the cast, and kyla was also watching! it was so amazing! and now, we all know one another! hee!

this entry's getting so long! i have to get some rest.. good morning!

i didn't go online yesterday! the whole day! cuz my sister hugged the comp.. then this morning, i was supposed to go online to check on some stuff.. then i was connected already, and the damned server won't go to any website! rarrrr!! i was in the brink of shedding tears cuz i really miss the internet,, but then, we left the house already..

whatever happened yesterday?

we rehearsed of course cuz it was wednesday.. we did the "tickets, tickets" thing. i don't know the title of the song! i think it's "beautiful day for a wedding" which is again, a guess..

then at 8pm, i went to libis.. my mom and tito played badminton at olympic.. and since i was in a somewhat right attire to play, i played for a while.. and i was suuuuper sweaty! twas so gross! nwei,, my mom and tito played with a lot of ppl! there were co-parents from ateneo,, to high school barkadas in st paul qc,, to neighbors back in blue ridge,, the list goes on! then tita suzette (miki hahn's aunt.. my mom's hs barxm8) thought that i was just 10 years old and my older sister was 12 years old daw.. what the?! haha, she believed my mom! then reggie (belmonte)'s parents were my mom's friends pala! hee! reggie! next time, join ur parents when they play badminton! haha! we might see each other!

we were supposed to finish playing at 10p.m.. but then they finished at 11:30!! what a delay! we ate dinner at around 11:45, and reached home an hour later.. it was soooo exhausting!

then today, i woke up at 8am.. cuz we had rehearsal at 11.. waaaahhh!! mornings make me sick.. i hate waking up early!

we started at 11:30 already.. cuz a lot of people weren't there.. we cleaned "the devil you know" which was so fun! i know the steps already!! woohoo! it ain't that hard for me anymore!

we ended rehearsal at 1:30.. it was quite exhausting.. but i was sort of satisfied.. when we got out, we saw some mth people.. then hase hugged me.. and i was like "oh no get off get off!! i just came from choreo! i stink!!" hehe.. but still she didn't stop! hase,, unlucky you!! haha!! i got my germs all over you! nwei, we headed to nicky's studio in new manila,, and boy was the place big! and so cool! caisa and franz took a lot of pictures! hee! it was so green with plants and flowers and stuff! it was soooo nice!

in nicky's place, we cleaned the wedding thing and the devil you know.. it's a bit cleaner now! and again, i ended up exhausted! not to mention sweaty from all the dancing we did over and over and over again! we finished at around 4:15.. then b.a, ilsa, michelle, and i rode with nicky.. michelle went home, then nicky went to galle.. then b.a, ilsa and i went back to shang.. to look for stuff.. then we met up with mth people again.. and i was so o.p cuz everyone knew one another! some of them were ilsa's classmates before,, and they all know b.a cuz his brother was in mth,, and i felt so o.p! hehe, "epal" is my middle name!

it was so traffic at around 6p.m so my mom told me to wait for her.. and i waited, for an hour or so.. it was so tagal!! argh! then a lot of stuff happened which requires me to use my right to privacy (yes, they shall not be for public broadcasting..)... then i got home at 10p.m.. REALLY ULTIMATELY OVERLY WHOA OH NO EXHAUSTED!!!

i think my legs are cursing me right at this moment.. i feel like crying!

and tomorrow, it shall be the second attempt to hold a costume-check, which i hope would be successful..

good thing my mom makes necklaces and bracelets and the like.. i got my head gear na! haha!

oh!! a while ago, i was chatting with achay cuz i read in her blog that she wants me to sing on her birthday which is on august 14.. i was like "what the heck are you thinking!? ur birthday's a couple of months away!" haha! but still,, of course, since she is a huge part of my life, i'll do it!

guess that'd be all! i have to get some rest, as well as prepare my costumes for tomorrow!

oh! and i hope you get to see the playshop yearbook! look for the mtg class! we all look great!

good night! whoops! i mean, morning!

i finished packing my costumes at 2a.m..

boy was i tired!

then i set my phone's alarm at 9a.m..

i woke up at 7! but i slept again, and woke up at 10.. wahh!! my sked was messed up!!

i was supposed to wake up at 9, then take a bath after waking up.. then at 10, i would eat breakfast.. then at 11 i would use the internet!

what happened was, i woke up at 10, took a bath at 10:30, then here i am now.. online! i just fixed up some of my costumes.. last minute fixing lang..

what a great attempt to be o.c..

again, mission failed!

oh! but one thing's for sure! i got my advertising strategies na for the show!

i know na when and how to do it..

i'm proud of me!

hehehe,, this is so fun!

oh! and later after rehearsal, mtg will go ice skating! i hope everyone would be there!

nga pala, i saw some lyrics of private conversation in b.a's blog and i remembered how i saw it last wednesday!! the blocking was great, the voices superb, and the choreo is definitely the best! caisa looked so pretty and macky looked kawawa! and it was so galing! i nearly cried! ganda sobra!

gotta scram! later!

i didn't go online again yesterday! wah! cuz i reached home at 10p.m. and i had no plans of exhausting myself any further..

yesterday was costume check part 2! and yes, it was more successful than the first one!

though i messed up when it came to the robes and stuff.. arrrrrgh!! na-stress ako! i didn't bring the robe! kaya say goodbye to the frakshow til the interview part was all messed up!

***!#@ #$%

the rehearsal was tiring! the costume changes, to the songs to the choreo to the acting! stressful!

then afterwards, denise, lawrence, b.a, ilsa and i went to mega to go ice skating.. we ate dinner, and kapow! the rink was closed! cuz we finished at 8pm.. oh! and nicky followed nga pala.. we turned the thing into a bonding session.. and yes, THIS TOPIC NEVER FAILS TO ENTER BONDING SESSIONS!! and this is not the one about relationships.. it's the other topic.. which again, is not for public broadcast.. hehehe..

after a while, we parted ways and b.a rode with me.. we waited for quite a long time.. then ayun.. we dropped b.a at his place.. then in the car,, lagi nalang "you should be loved, by someone who loves you,, wants you to blossom, always is true!....." nakakainis!! major l.s.s!! wah!

then i went home.. and i was hella tired!!

then i woke up at 11a.m,, and i'm still sleepy!! hee!

gotta scram,, tamad na eh!

oh no! this is not for me!! i couldn't sleep once more! but i am sleepy,, but i couldn't sleep! but yes, i am sleepy! argh! this sucks.. it definitely isn't insomnia, cuz the rehearsal sked makes me to tired to stay up.. and yeah i am depressed but this couldn't be the reason!

earlier, like 10p.m,, i was able to send invites to 111 people.. i texted them all.. and it took like 30 minutes to send all those messages.. and wahoo! this is so fun! i got 5 replies! wow.. i know, yes, it's 10p.m,, but it's a saturday!! what the?!

oh well,, now i know how hard it is to advertise! just like the ones who give out fliers to something then those fliers would end up in the trash bins.. now i know how those people feel.. their money's wasted.. sayang the printing, sayang the efforts,, sayang yung fact that you came up with something "good" through the means of squeezing your brain,, having lots of sleepless nights.. cuz they thought that one day they'd float in money and all their dreams would come true..

shit..

i wasted money.. oh crap.. i'm going nowhere.. this sucks..

this is so foolish of me.. ang babaw ko noh? i'm gonna have to shift gears..

on the lighter yet darker side of life, i watched this news bit this afternoon, and guess what!! melanie marquez will release a book of her quotable quotes!! oh yes!! that'd be so cool! i want one! though i think it would be kind of dangerous for me cuz i might be sent to the mental hospital the moment i read it by myself..

anyways,, i've been surfing a lot tonight.. oh, i mean, this morning, and i found lots of cool sites! the ones with essays pretty much like the writings of bob ong.. galing!

ayun,, i want to rid the frustration!

ciao! til tomorrow!

wah! harry potter is all over!! argh! on hbo, gma7, the internet, bookstores, movie houses, lahat! argh!

i hate emma watson.. she doesn't look nice.. and the way she dresses? blech! haha!

nweiz,, i had a hair appointment today.. grarrr.. pretty much not what i expected.. this sucks..

i was in the middle of making labels for poj a while ago.. and i was thinking of what labels i should make for myself.. of course, my avatar in the labels will be the picture in the playshop yearbook.. i like that pic! galing cuz the photographer made everyone look good! in my case, i'm a natural --- NOT!

going back, i was about to make my own labels when i figured,, oh shit! i don't know my section yet! hehehe,, that's why i couldn't make the label yet! one, cuz i haven't the playshop yearbook yet, and two, i haven't any section yet!

oh my! school starts on the 9th? kala ko ba after independence day? shit, saturday nga pala yung independence day.. pat, labas tayo!

i want to get hold of the playshop yearbook na! i want my own copy! too bad i have to get it in music museum pa! argh! sana sa may stageworx na lang para ndi hassle!

last night, i slept at 7am nga pala,, i never figured out why! i just wasn't able to put myself to sleep! then at 3am i was chatting with joy in ym.. we talked about stuff.. doi?! hehe,, then twas her lunch break at 4am.. at the same time, i logged off.. cuz i wanted to rest my eyes already! kaso lang, i couldnt really sleep!

moving on, these chemicals in my hair make my nose itch! the scent it too strong! and i'm getting hella dizzy!

gosh, i loooove the kfc chicken fillet commercials! hehe,, theyre all so cool! i managed to catch a bunch of them kanina!

ciao! poj is gonna use! or better yet, let me play the sims!

i came from rehearsal today.. and tomorrow would mean another rehearsal.. we're doing everything we can to come up with a good show!

we were dismissed (miraculously) at around 5:30, which is so unexpected since we've been extending til like 6:45 since we did choreo..

some of us headed to starbucks.. and this time, the topic of all bonding sessions was there.. and well,, that simply sucked! so so so much!

to the mtg-ers who weren't there, just ask me for kwento.. i'd be glad to let out frustration..

nga pala, in rehearsal, mejo off kaming lahat.. i have no idea why.. but we were all so off today, and the energy levels were so low.. that ain't even called energy!

going back, we met up with hase and vince and chato in starbucks.. twas fun.. ALMOST! haha!

then sheena asked b.a to call up this guy.. then ask if his name was mark.. what the heck.. it was too common a name to use it in a conversation such as that! and guess what! i'm right! he did say that his name was mark.. i'm not sure if he told the truth though..

okay, to let out the pain now.. i'm really well,, in a weird state as of the moment.. i don't know if i feel scared, or nervous or what.. cuz like 2 weeks ago (i think) i texted 90 people and only 4 of them replied.. then last saturday i texted 111 people and 5 replied that same night, and 2 people in the morning..

though around 3 people told me they'd be there, (out of how many again? more than a hundred!), namely achay, inna and lia, i still feel so uneasy..

i mean, hello? more than 3 people matter to me.. and this is one time wherein i want to cheer them up.. and this performing thing is the only thing that makes me happy aside from my friends and family.. and this is the only thing i could offer them at least 2 hours of my time because i wasn't able to show up in some recent gimmicks due to rehearsals.. see? i want to come up with something good. at least one thing wherein they could say, "ui, lamu ba, friend ko yan! kaya nga ako nandito eh! para bigyan sha ng moral support!"

hindi naman sa sinusungaban (whatever that term means, don't you ask me.. cuz i dunno its meaning either!) ko sila, pero, dalawang oras lang naman yun eh! bakit hindi pa nila kaya? after ko pagpaguran ng dalawang buwan!?

wala lang.. i dunno if this is a product of stress.. pero well,, i've been in tears for about an hour now.. nakakahiya nga eh.. baka akalain ng mom ko kung anu na nangyayari sakin.. buti na lang nandun sha sa room nya..

maybe i'm just nervous now that showtime's fast approaching.. heck, it's this saturday already!

i don't know the reason behind these tears, but i am pretty sure that i have a lot of anxieties regarding the show..

fine, my family's watching.. but still, iba pa rin yung feeling na makukuha mo yung support from your friends.. cuz right now, now that i'm far from them, and i don't and won't get to see them every single day (you know na who you are?) i'm in a really tough time! kayo na nga lang yung source ng strength ko eh.. kayo yung reason kung bakit tinutuloy ko pa 'to.. sabay kayo yung wala.. anu ba naman yun?

hay nako pauline, antok ka lang.. this is just a nightmare..

"but i want to wake up to what i'm dreaming of.."

kaso lang hindi sha nightmare eh.. totoo sha eh..